how do i get started im so confused

[willdo]

not sure how , were to get involved with the forums. please help

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

Just wanted to stop in and say hi, that i am back..from my weekend at the tennis, you are very right, I loved it, I felt like I could chat to people and to have some great conversations, even a hug..it has been so good for me, hopefully for the people I spoke with and for BB and to help raise awareness for mental health.

I hope you have had a good weekend and that you have been able to do something even small to make you feel good about you. I am sorry I haven't been here to chat to you and I am sorry if I have let you down.

chat really soon Will and huge hugs as always.

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

I'm so glad you loved your time at the open. i'm sure you made lots of people feel better.

For letting me down, Don't be Silly, you are allowed time out. (though, i did miss our conversation).

Quite weekend, very hot in Sydney. Tried to go out at least once every day and i managed that. Its only brief but its something like you said.

My Psychiatrist rang again on Saturday to see how i'm travelling (only day he works from a medical center at a private hospital), I was surprised and pleased , not many doctors especially a specialist would do that. He asked about the additional medication but its too early to tell. He gave me the option to see him next Saturday if i'm not travelling well otherwise cancel the appointment for another month if i'm doing OK. I cannot believe the level of care he shows , unbelievable!

Today i'll try and help the 2 boys outside (cutting lawn and fixing few things). I want to tackle the pool before it goes green from all the dust and the burnt out leaves we have been constantly getting. its been a nightmare ( red dust is covering everything , )

Thank you for caring so much.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

I just want to say that reading your message today you sound really happy and positive, I am so very pleased for you and I too think it is so wonderful the level of support your doctor is providing for you, this is so fantastic. It does make a huge difference when you find the right one as you can see and you make the connection and that in itself is such a huge healing tool, I am so very happy for you.

That sounds cool being outside with the kids, I am no gardener and I am not a fan..lol..but if it gets us out and spending time with our families then it is always good. This is such great news and I am sure that they boys will really enjoy hanging out with you and when the yard is done the satisfaction is huge, well done!

The weather and the rain is just like nothing we have seen, the brown rain from the other day literally coated everything and my windows need doing very badly, it is just terrible. Mother nature is really not happy! Perhaps I will get out there today and do my windows....well I will think about it, my body is pretty sore for two days of walking around the tennis.

Thank you for understanding and I do consider the forums apart of my life and a place that I love, so when I am not here I feel like something is missing. I had some great chats, it was awesome just to be there and so many people say "ohh Beyond Blue..I f*&$$n love you guys"....lol but also some serious conversations too and lots of people wanting to donate, so all in all some great moments.

have a great day Will and it is so very good to hear you so happy! I really am feeling so happy for you and reading your message today has made my morning....good on you Will.

Hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

thought i post how i'm feeling right now.

Not the best. we did what needs to be done. now its sit down/get up and boring time.

Kids and Deb going to see mother in Law after Debi finishes work (2.30) . I don't go every time even before the onset of my depression.

i wish my mood and Anxiety improves, just feeling empty and worried all of the time. I do feel a bit better but not fast enough for me.

night time comes and my OCD/rituals start. i hate it. the phobia of not falling asleep drives me nuts. i go to bed early (getting later i must admit),

I wish i was WORKING. i worked from home mainly July to November for the last few years with little work that was stopped last year for the remainder of the year.

Overall i do feel a bit better and like you said baby steps.

thank you again

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

I am so pleased to hear that overall you are feeling a little better and yes, I know it takes time but the fact you are making progress is fantastic, it really is. Did you want to talk a bit about the OCD and the rituals and see if we can perhaps change the focus at bed time and perhaps give you some distraction at this time?

Happy to chat about that if you like....

Hugs

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi ,

since i was a youngster i always checked the house at night (take rubbish out , make sure the doors are locked, stove is off etc...).

This turned into an OCD in my late twenties (checking things over and over again), lay down in bed only to get up and check again. i was prescribed medication and with alcohol on top seemed to subside.

Whilst staying away from home (uni days), i used to get very wrestles at night , i developed this phobia that something will happen (even Die) if i don't sleep.if i heard the word Insomnia i used to freak out. sometimes i used to drive home in the afternoon (3 hours), sleep at home then return to Uni early the next day. How crazy!

with Alcohol and medication i managed . since i gave up my devices and the onset of my depression last year my OCD and sleep phobia returned (especially after reading about the side affects of the new medication YES the word Insomnia.) I now have to check the same things every night 3 times, (i neglect the kitchen checking since i go to bed whilst everyone is still awake which is weird in a way as the kitchen was my main OCD).

I have to shower no matter what, shave and wash my hair every second day ,no matter what, around 6pm or so.Take my medication , all these other over the counter medications) just in case !!!!

At 7 i start getting anxious about sleeping (it was around 5 not long ago i'm trying to stretch it as long as i can), by 7.30 -8pm.I go to bed and lay there tired or not , I HATE it. i end up taking a medication to relax and fall asleep.

So that's roughly the main rituals(there is a bit more ) i have been doing for few months. Crazy Ah?

William

[Aaronsis]

Thank you for sharing that with me Will, you are certainly not crazy at all.

I will tell you something that works for me, sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with all the things I have to "worry about" I make a list and check them off, that way I can confirm I have "worried" about it and I am fine then. It sort of eases the worry and then I am satisfied I have worried about it. Does that make any sense..probably not but do you think something like this would work for you?? you could mark off on a little piece of paper, you can satisfy yourself that you have checked and perhaps then not have to get up many times to check, even though it is a ritual. You could put your bedtime to 8ish and have some soft music or something so as to distract the need to get up and check you can rely on your list...maybe you have tried this or maybe this may not work for you, but I thought it might. Is it worth a try?

I am just about to start dinner as I have grumpy teenagers...lol

Thank you once again for sharing Will, I just hope that you feel supported.

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah.

Hope all is well.

Mixed bag so far today, its weekday so i'm home alone (even the in law is out).

trying to keep busy but finding it hard. don't like been on my own. have to ride it out for few hours.

Pizza night so no cooking (you can get veg plant based from domino's if you don't want to cook tonight!)

i have been on the computer/mobile all morning , checking whatever pops up in my head. I bought a new laptop online , mine is getting pretty old. I hate change !

The original script for the new medication finally arrived at the chemist, i postponed psychiatrist appointment to 22/2 as i discussed with him(this will give the new medication one month)

not much other than that really, feeling a bit anxious and trying to tell it to Go away.

Hope you are having a good day

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey William

That is kind of exciting to have a new laptop, something to play with and keep your mind busy, I get the change part though, however I am the opposite, I love change, isn't it strange how different we all are. If you want something to make you have a huge belly laugh google epic cake fails.....I bet you will have tears rolling down your face at some of the cakes people have tired and failed at.

I actually had a plant based pizza from the supermarket yesterday, it was really good and the base was super crispy, it was so yum! We are having taco's tonight, I will just substitute the meat mix for some beans....mmmm...lol

Great to chat to you some more Will and I hope the day is not too bad being there on your own, well you always have us here to chat to x

Cheers

Sarah xxx

[willdo]

Hi, Sarah.

i had a look at epic cake fails ,,, very funny.

With change i'm like that for some reason , hate to change especially computer and mobiles. other things as well , it may take me weeks to put a new shirt on. I still got the new wallet (from Xmas ) in the box lol

With the new laptop its all the data on the old ones. Setting it all up. all the pre filled logins and passwords not to mention the bookmarks. I'll do some home work to see if there is a simple way to transfer.

William