FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[ekatakekatakekat]

...anyone else spend christmas entirely alone , just crying in their beds, wanna join my pity partt?

ok but seriously tho, christmas doesnt hurt so much anymore. not that the day's gotten better, (worse actually) just that i dont have any expectations anymore so im not let down

i did spend the day crying & drinking alone in my room, but thats how i spend everyday so really it was just the same as normal

im sti sad tho, not about how it went, but because of what how it went means. im sadder that i dont have a family to celebrate something like this with, that we dont do the gatherings the bbq or any of the cliche crap thats overhyped & probably a bit unrealistic that i still want

i wish i was the kind of person with the kind of life where holidays made me happy and not depressed and birthdays made me excited and not suicidal. thatd be nice.

ok 1am pity party over.

[Moonstruck]

Oh Carol.....sorry i couldn't wish you a Merry Christmas on the right day....I had another offer I just couldn't refuse.....a lovely painkiller drip!......Drop into the BB Cafe and I'll tell you all about it!!!

Catch up later this week hopefully - I am now dreaming of handsome young surgeons in blue cotton jump suits and Santa Hats -it's a long long story.....rock on 2017!!

[Starwolf]

Hi dear EKT,

No, I will not join your "pity party", just sit a while on the edge of your bed, give you a heart-felt hug and dry your tears with a corner of the sheet.

Like you, I didn't talk with another human all day (like many other days !). Unlike you, it didn't make me feel sad. But it was a long day, so I'm relieved it's over. I guess I can't miss what I never had so all is well. For some of us, being alone doesn't necessarily mean feeling lonely.

Today is another day. Perhaps you can come up with a small thing to make it a better one than yesterday. BB is an uncommon family, a special one who understands mental/emotional distress and offers unconditional support. It accepts people just as they are and appreciates their individuality. It is more than can be said of many families in the outside world.

It is good to have you with us.

[CheeseSlices]

Hi. Sorry I havent read the entire thread - I figured it best to join in than start my own.

Christmas is harder every year. I was hoping it would get easier but its just harder in a different way.

I had been sick with illness the 2 days leading up to christmas. Christmas day my carer called a doctor he was so worried. They gave me antiboiotics, anti nausea and told me to send a poo sample off - but forgot to give me the pack.

I didnt receive any gifts or texts, cards or christmas wishes.

I used the change I found in the car to buy my carer a pressie. He didnt like it much, I didnt get anything from him.

I re-activated social media - I suppose in the hope someone would remember me. But no one did.

The day itself was not bad, it was nice not to be alone all day. But ever since its back to normal hours. My carer is gone half the day and out every second night. It feels cruel to have got me used to the support and company and then left to fend alone looking through the fun everyone else is able to have with all their fancy money and loving family.

And when I express my feelings that chirstmas has really lost the joy for me - I am told to get pregnant and have children to bring it back. How is this a reasonable suggestion for a permanently disabled single person? It makes me mad, and then the spiral continues.

[Elizabeth CP]

Hi Cheese slices. I had to reply as I am very angry on your behalf. How dare anyone suggest you just get pregnant so you can enjoy Christmas,. That is such an unfeeling stupid suggestion. I am not sure what is actually wrong with you but there should be some support groups with people similar to you so you can reach out & connect with someone. Is your carer a professional carer or someone you know. Can you ask them to help or speak to your GP to find out who to contact. My husband is linked to 2 organisations related to his illness /disability & particularly enjoys meeting others even though they don't have the exact same condition they are similar & he feels less alone. I hope you can find something to help. Noone deserves to feel so alone as you seem to.

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I'm now back and connected to electronic devices. I have had a brief read of people's posts here.

CheeseSlices I wish you belated Christmas Greetings. I am so sorry to read you had such a tough Christmas.

I too am not familiar with your situation, and understand your feelings towards people suggesting you just have children...like it is that simple for everyone.

A couple of days ago a stranger asked why I don't have children, I explained I couldn't carry a baby to full term. It was then suggested I should have adopted children. It is not that simple.

I guess people mean well, but don't always realise what they are saying.

I've decided I am going to start making plans now for next Christmas! I have told my husband I don't want to go away next year for Christmas and don't necessarily want the usual Christmas celebrations either. I am considering having Christmas with family a week before Christmas Day and invite friends over for Christmas Day or Christmas Eve.

What changes would you all like to instigate to make next Christmas different?

Cheers all from Dools​

[CheeseSlices]

Thankyou for your kind replies 🙂

I am doing better now I figured out a few things - which doctors could not (ie medication rush was causing the intense illness) and dry air from the air conditioner was causing me to cough blood.

I have been to almost every support group they offer in this city. I have been to ALL of the private expensive ones on offer. And a fair few of the community and hospital based types (not for 2 years). I found GROW to be one of the most easy going and useful. I had to stop going as I lost my home earlier in the year due to my "mental illness" and have not found a group in this area.

I do not trust the psychiatric industry whatsoever and people telling me to "seek help" is as offensive as telling me a child will fix my life.

I have been in the system over a decade and by their own diagnosis and their own observation - they made me worse. It started off as Anxiety during university and morphed into "uncovered" mania when AD's sent me troppo.

Christmas is bad for me as I have flashbacks to the locked ward over 10 years ago, where I was bashed, sexually abused and my medication was dramatically altered just because no one bothered to ring my treating doctor. I was on 24 hour watch for the first 3 days - I was just a kid and had male nurses watch me in the shower and on the toilet. When they did get in contact every thing was re-instated and I was told to fire my treating doctor by the doctors in NSW as the medications I was on were at life threatening doses. They forgot to note how they put my life in danger but altering dosage so massively.

Last christmas I was under the "care" of a doctor and pain specialist who had me hospitalised over my birthday and christmas and blamed me for withdrawal symptoms. They said I could never come off the medication that was giving me unbearable side effects (Intrusive thoughts of hurting children). I do not trust them because I did manage to get off that drug. I've been off it a year now. Life is much easier but at the same time harder because I can see what I went through and it makes me so upset that they did that to me and continue to do that to others.

Next year I have been invited to go away for christmas - it is just not a realistic goal for me.

I need to process the PTSD around this time - but no doctor wants to hear that their treatment caused damage and distress - they rather dismiss and drug.

[blondguy]

Hey Mrs Dools

Carrie Fishers mum Debbie Reynolds just passed away circa 1:pm EST. (stroke)

That is so sad.

Paul xo

[Guest_9877BDCA]

Hi, 1st post for me, Anyone else struggled through Christmas, Was I the only one who didnt enjoy Christmas?

Christmas is supposed to be enjoyed with family and friends, not me, The lead up to Christmas was hell(I work as a retail store manager)all of the hype that goes along with it I can do without, I quit my job of 4 years due to stress and anxiety, Im so sick of feeling this way, I had family over for Christmas day and all I wanted to do is go into another room and curl up on the bed, I tried to be happy and put on a brave face and smile but its all fake, I was soo exhausted the next day I slept all afternoon, I cant seem to enjoy anything at the moment, feel sad all the time, I have battled this on my own without meds for over 15 years so I thought it was time to start, Gp put me on medication, Day 7 and dont feel any different yet, Here's to hoping it will work for me.

[Moonstruck]

Oh God isn't it sad ....I adored watching Debbie's musical movies and listening to her sing when I was just a tiny little girl...she was so wholesome and innocent in her early roles.....as well as an amazingly brilliant talent...resilient businesswoman with fabulous sense of humour. (and lousy choices in men)

RIP both these ladies.....I was just thinking Carrie will be added to the "stars we have lost during the year" they play at the end of the Academy Awards Oscars each year...now the one and only Debbie Reynolds (Tammy) will be on there also.

She was one of the few remaining big big "movie stars" from the MGM Holly wood Musical era..Her son Todd, Carrie's brother, must be devastated.....a double loss of people you loved dearly and who loved you dearly....how does a person deal with that??