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Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

974 Replies 974

Hi Elizabeth and Shelly ☺

Excuse me Elizabeth just for a tic.

Shells I thought that'd be common practice too transferring the health records though I'm talking from yrs ago it's madness they didn't or dont still now I'm guessing but it could be different.

Actually Elizabeth I'm not fully versed on 'My Health Record' I think it's called and it's our health records on line so if you go to hospital for example all that infos there for quick access. If so maybe that could be accessed through a new GP.

Dear lady 🤗 and for you too Shells if youse like ☺

Thanks Shell & DB, The GP was supposed to get a copy of my records from the old GP but I don't think he has read through it to find out what is relevant or not. I would need to ask questions and prompt him to check on things. My current negative feelings mean I feel worthless so struggle to ask for what I need because I don't deserve it. I over react to things so I'm worried I'll say something wrong and then prove to the GP how bad I am so I'll have no GP. This fear of saying the wrong thing is making me cut off from even close family

Dear Elizabeth ⚘

You poor lady being so low and feeling this way is no life is it.

Darl I'm urging you gently to please push through and talk to this new GP. You're in desperate need of whatever help out there's available and the starting points usually through a GP. You need him to know hun of exactly how you're feeling because then they can get you the right help.

Talking about writing again some advantages are you having time to collect thoughts and express them which face on depending how we're feeling doesn't always work out - how often it's oh should have mentioned this and that afterwards.

I suggest telling him exactly what you're feeling too lovey as hard I know it would probably be but otherwise that might stay that way or get worse. You're already in a very hard place darl you don't need or want any more on top eh.

A thought about your current psych Elizabeth can or maybe you have said to them that you've not if that's how it is for you been able to apply what they're teaching or guiding you with.

Geez I feel for you. A good lady in such a hard place.

This understandably might sound like yeah right but it is true hun that even from the deepest darkest places our minds can go we can pull up from there. With helps going to be that bit easier I'd think and tbh it's not necessarily fast but that's ok because every small bit of light takes away some darkness.

Always support care and better ahead wished for you Elizabeth ⚘

I have been seeing a psychologist for 2 years. My psychiatrist referred me to him for exposure therapy for PTSD. After a bumpy start we started making progess until covid hit which then stopped face to face appt and limited opportu ities to do some of the things he recommended. We then got side tracked from original goald because of the need to deal with extreme stress related to covid and other issues. We have gone back to face to face sessions but I'm feeling like I'm wasting his time as I'm not progressing. I've lost all motivation. Just feel like I wish I was dead as life is no longer worth living but I cant do anything about that. I don't know whether to cancel my appointment tomorrow or should I go for one last time and tell him I want to stop as I have given up trying.

Hi dear Elizabeth,

You really seem to be in a darkish spot. I am sorry.

Elizabeth your little grandchildren will have a huge hole in their lives, if you were not around. Only you can fill such a special place. No one else on earth can. Just wanted to say that. You love them it comes across when you write about them. And they you.

Just my opinion, I think you should go to the appointment, maybe show him some of these posts you have written, or print them off for him. Just see what he thinks.

Gosh my heart is for you, I have known you for a few years now. It is hard to see you like this. I care so much for you.

Gentle hug Elizabeth if you will receive it.

All my love Shelley xx

Dear Elizabeth ⚘

Oh dear lady it's really hard going feeling like that. I feel so incredibly sad for you and understand completely how it is feeling like that for different reasons but yeah it's in a word the pits.

Darl yes I too think the best action for you would be to keep the appointment to tell the bloke exactly if you can express which can be very hard in these times or as Shells suggested show him your post which will give him a good idea of where you're at.

You've been very low for a long while now. That doesn't mean although it feels like it won't change, that it can't.

Lovey you keep going and that no matter how hard and it really is, shows you've got what you need to pull back up. Believing you can is a strong force. Learning how to handle these incredibly powerful emotions I believe is in our grasps. Might take a while but sliwly light replaces dark.

I've heard here and around of different therapies/techniques to help with the mindset.

Always with you Elizabeth.

You're cared about liked and loved including here hun.

Please don't give up on yourself you really do deserve to have a chance at recovery.

Hi Elizabeth CP,

We are sorry to hear that you feel like you're not progressing and that you feel you are wasting your psychologist's time. We understand how hard this must be for you and want to remind you that you are worth the time and effort. Please remember that there is always immediate support available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14).

Both Beyond Blue and our online community members are here with you.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Elizabeth~

There is no need to reply to this, I know the effort to do so. Simply take it as it is meant -a friendly contact -and leave it at that.

When I saw Sophie_M had been talking with you that prompted me to drop in. Why? Basically I care, you are a person worthy of that in many ways, and that does not change whatever you think or feel.

On reading since I last spoke to you I see you feel pretty bad, with pointlessness rearing its head, and plain simple long term exhaustion physical and mentally a big influence.

So you consider stopping your medical team, maybe you think that wil be easier, maybe you think it does no good, or is just a hassle.

Everyone who has spoken to oyu has suggested you keep on wiht them, Why? Because you are the same person that was capabe of responding to treatment - you said so yourself and that has not changed, merry Covid circumstance introduced another factor, which will lessen as either it dissipates or you get used to it.

To dwell on this 24/7 is harmful, makes every negative thing magnified. So rather than tedious logical argument I'll tell you about my walk, which I can only do sometimes, and is short but stressful and spectacular.

Mrs C drives me to the riverbank car park, where we are accosted by ducks, coots, native hens sand sundry other wildfowl -plus a cook form a neighboring house. Ducks even pedal like mad to get from the other bank and try to push each other out of the way.

We throw stale bread, trying to get some to the chicks, youngsters and outsiders. When hte bag is empty we walk though hte trees, watching the native hens jockey for position wiht the females, and charge each other noisily skwarking in mock attacks until the intruder gives away.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Sorry, the internet posted my message before I'd finished -it happens:(

To continue...

We slowly walk beyond the barrier of trees, with well-mown grass either side of the path until we see a bend in the river. In the middle is geese island, where they, and their little fluffy yellow goslings, sleep each night. We look for 'V's in the water, ones without any visible cause, platypus. If we are lucky we see one duck-dive after a tasty morsel on the riverbed.

There is much in this world that I can so easily forget without be inf reminded

Take care Elizabeth, you are worth the trouble.

Croix

Elizabeth CP
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Thank you Shell DB & Croix for your kind thoughtful posts. I read them as soon as I see them but struggle knowing how to reply. I know distraction is supposed to help and it does for short periods but leaves me feeling like I'm wasting time achieving nothing. I know I need to change but I don't know how. I can't do anything because it is too hot. I only go out if i have to but that feels like torture. My son's family have covid so I needed to puck up shopping for them and drop it off. It was horrible outside. My son's family have been extremely careful to avoid covid particularly recently as they didnt want to risk their holiday. Their son tested positive on the way so they returned home to isolate. I know it is a 1st world problem missing a holiday but it just confirms my fears that I can't plan anything without it going wrong and it is impossible to avoid covid. The feeling of being trapped and having nothing to live for is really strong. Hearing about other people doing things just makes me feel worse. I hate being home but do t feel safe leaving it. I don't feel like talking to people because I don't want to be a nuisance or a burden. Why would anyone want to speak to me. I am failing my hsb as I can't take him anywhere or do anything with him. There is no end in sight. By the time summer finishes something else will go wrong so still wo nt have anything to look forward to.