Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix. I found some more sleeping tablets (not in their box which was empty so last night I slept. Still feeling tired & flat unsure if that is side effect of meds or just from still being tired from yesterday. The useless feeling is unfortunately a common feeling for me that I can't shake. I feel unmotivated ATM & having to force myself to do things. Anything requiring thinking or planning seems to be too hard.

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Elizabeth,

I hope the sleep meds help you get a restful sleep. I am glad you were able to sit up for a while but try to remembee to take it slow and only do it for short amounts.

I find sometimes my lack of motivation coincides with having done too much in prior days. I am trying to recognise this and reduce how much time I am active. Perhaps yours might be similar?Sleep issues don't help too.

My physio keeps reminding me to slow down. Pacing will help reduce the severity of bad days.

Perhaps redefining your definition of useful could help? Set smaller goals?

Thinking of you

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I haven't replied. I have been very tired & busy lately. I haven't had enough sleep so I will take sleeping tablet tonight. I can't take them if I need to get up early. I think overdoing it does lead to a slump as I'm experiencing now. I babysat Friday which was nice & then stayed overnight so I could help prepare for a birthday party for 2 of them on Sat. This meant late night Fri & then Sat we arrived home late & got up early for church Sun. Mon I had to get up early to drop off my husband & then had to get blood tests at 8 this morning.

I feel like me mind is working overtime working out how to do everything & trying to remember what is most important. I saw my psych today but felt very drained as I know what he is saying is right for me but I'm struggling to get the motivation. There are a few things in my life which have fallen apart but I seem to be unable to get past the negative thoughts & feelings to move forward. I feel guilty for not doing what I should which just adds to the confused feelings & resentment & creates a bigger barrier.

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Elizabeth,

If one thing happens it is hard but with multiple things it is understandable that it takes a bigger toll.

It sounds like the psych had some good advice. Motivation can be so hard when you feel this way.

Is there a way to do a little of wjat was suggested and then over time increase it? Perhaps achieving even a little bit will help you feel like you are accomplishing something and perhaps that will be a start to improving your motivation?

When my mind gets overloaded like that, I write lists now. Some by task or by day or by week. I find it makes me feel more calm when I can see it all. Just a thought.

Me

[Elizabeth CP]

I do write lists & find them helpful & doing a little & building up is a useful strategy, The particular issue I have I seem to struggle to even attempt to start. It is hard to explain as my reactions seem to make no sense even to me.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth (with a wave to Carol)~

I agree that it is overdoing things that has landed you in this state, and I'm very sure it is not the first time.

Having a list is good, but as you say actually starting to do one of the tasks is hard. It shows all though your posts you invest an awful lot of yourself in getting tasks done. You expect to do things, and blame yourself if you don't - even if the reason is beyond your control.

I suspect that this makes for a very high pressure risky situation, the stakes are very high. Succeed and things go on as normal, nothing special or praiseworthy not matter how hard or draining it may be. Fail and you feel very bad indeed. Under such circumstances a reluctance to start in what is almost a no-win situation is quite understandable.

I tend to suffer from this myself at times, so if I'm putting my failings unjustifiably on you my apologies. To try to get out of this predicament I need to set smaller easier to achieve goals and work up as I improve. Making one phone call rather than the whole lot, just going to the chemist rather than all the errands, that sort of thing.

Even 'dummy' tasks like doing something I know I will enjoy even if not essential - read a chapter in the current book can help.

You know all these strategies already, perhaps knowing others have to resort to them too might be an encouragement

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix.

On my weekly planner which I use to try to stay on track (note I say try) I include things like children (meaning I need to speak to them on the phone or visit & Relax/ have fun (unfortunately that one often seems to not be done but at least I'm trying to think about it)

When I have enough energy I manage the practical things although I have a bad habit of overdoing it & really struggle to get the balance right eg last weekend.

My problem at the moment is related to church & spirituality. It is hard to explain. Church was an important part of our family's life & everyone else remains very faithful. I still go because I need to take my husband but feel increasingly disconnected & hypocritical. The logical part of my brain remembers how much better I felt when I was reading scriptures & praying & leading a life based on Christian principles. Something seems to be stopping me I just can't get motivated to try & then feel guilty & not good enough & spiralling down. My psych has tried to help by encouraging me to read a little or pray a little so I feel I'm doing something but I seem to be unable & then feel I'm wasting his time making me feel worse. This probably makes no sense. It makes no sense to me

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Perhaps part of the problem is form. You do not do the same things as you used to, while I would not know the reason perhaps it is time for a change and to express faith in another manner. Perhaps by doing what you can to support an organization that helps society (St V d P, Anglicare etc) or some other avenue may leave you feeling more in tune.

Just an idle though, dunno

Croix

[Guest_1055]

Hi Elizabeth,

When you say hypocritical, are you saying you are unable to do what God says, or you do not live the way he says?? Or is it something else... Am I on the right track there in regards to your thoughts?

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Good Morning Elizabeth, May you have a much better day today. And hey .... don't feel pressured to answer the question that I asked you last night. You are free.

Shell xx