Feeling desperate to make this stop

[Lilly99]

Hi there, this is my first post which is really scary. Anyway I am not good feeling really depressed and anxious . I have tried everything psychiatrists, psychologists. Mental health nurses. Medication , I even spent 4 weeks in mental hospital to have tms which obviously didn’t work . Anyway feeling like life isn’t worth living . I feel like I have had enough of this battle called life . No matter what I try nothing works . I couldn’t be more of a joke and a waste of space really what’s the point I am never going it get better . Do people ever truly get better?

[White_Rose]

Hello Lilly

How are you going? Not heard from you for a couple of weeks and I wonder what is happening.

Are you still in hospital? If so are you receiving more ECT? I dropped by to put your thread up the list and ask what is happening for you. It would be great to hear from you.

Mary

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Hope you are going a bit better wherever you are. Did hospital help?

Just want to wish you a happy Christmas although I realise this can be a difficult time for many people.

The new year is just around the corner. Wishing for you a positive and healthy one.

Best wishes with lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🎄

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Just popping in to wish you a happy new year. I hope 2020 is happier & healthier for you.

I am not sure if you are still in hospital. It would be lovely to hear from you, however, I understand if you don’t feel up to it.

I went to a tribute concert for Neil Diamond on New Year’s Eve followed by a dance which was really enjoyable.

Cheers & best wishes for the new year

With lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗💐

[Lilly99]

Hi Jojo,Mary, Saree and everyone.

Happy 2020 . Sorry you haven’t found your brother Jojo it’s so sad. I am glad you enjoyed your New Year’s Eve.

I left hospital 1 week ago. Can’t say I feel any better. Going downhill fast . Honestly I think I have had enough. My mum came over for Christmas and had a major stroke 8am Christmas morning at my house. It’s going to be a long recovery after a 3 hour operation to remove a blood clot in her brain. I feel so depressed and emotional and hopeless. It’s not just because of my mum it’s so much more . Sorry for being a downer . I just can’t see that anything will ever change for me.

Lilly

[Saree_p]

Hi Lilly,
Happy New year 😊

Sorry, no words of wisdom, apart from you can!!

Any plans for the next couple of days?
I'm off work atm, so been playing lawn bowls and went for a hike a few days ago.

After my major dumpy spit we are looking at having tinsel.. . So fingers crossed.

Lots of love my friend

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. It must have been very frightening and stressful for you. My heart goes out to you and I just wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better.

Do you have any outpatient mental health support now that you have been discharged from hospital? If you do make good use of it as you are going through a very difficult and emotional time to say the least.

I hope both you and your mum start to improve soon and perhaps you are somehow able to help each other through this terrible time.

You are in my thoughts and prayers xox

With lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗💐

[White_Rose]

Hello Everyone

So pleased you wrote in here Lilly. I was beginning to wonder what was happening for you. Sorry to learn about your mom having a stroke. On top of everything else this must have been horrendous. How is everyone going?

I can well understand why you are not getting on as fast as you wanted to. Do you have support near you? Are you going to see the psychiatrist now you have been discharged from hospital? I really hope the doctors at the hospital have set up some support for you. Just because you are home does not mean you have no need of support. Can you tell us what is happening on that front? You know we worry about you.

I spent Christmas with my eldest daughter. Just five of us on Christmas Day but the rest of the family joined us for Boxing Day which was great. The younger children decided to entertain us and it was hilarious. My daughter seemed to live in the kitchen and cooked us fabulous meals. So lovely to have meals prepared for me and I felt so much better once I started to eat good meals. It's my New Year resolution to eat properly.

Life can so easily overwhelm us. Once one thing goes wrong it seems so many other things happen as well. Can you keep in regular contact with us please. So good to know what is happening for you.

I must get ready to go out. Today is a treatment day at the hospital and my lift will arrive soon. Greeting people in my night clothes is not the best look.

Mary

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I hope things are going better for you and your mum now. I expect it will be a long road to recovery.

I just wanted to wish you well and let you know I am thinking of you and your family at this time.

Sending you lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗💐

[Lilly99]

Dear Mary, Jojo, and saree,

I am so sorry Saree about how you are feeling. I would highly encourage you to be admitted to hospital ASAP . Honestly if it was that easy to get through emotional and paranoid feelings by staying at home and hoping things pass then there wouldn’t be all the help out there to help us through this difficult time. We would all be well. I am back in hospital again because i wasn’t safe and my doctor was extremely worried about me. I know I only left a short time ago but I had a lot of things happen which sent me on a down hill slide. It would be so easy to think what’s the point and believe me I was thinking that. I am having more ECT and changing meds and probably could be here for some time. But I wasn’t safe at home. Things just don’t get better on there own. You and your BF can’t just ride this one out. Please seek help. People are not out to get you they are there to help. Please I beg you get the help you so desperately need. You and your BF will live a much happier life together. You posted positive encouraging messages to me. Please see your life can get better also. Take care of yourself Saree and don’t give up. Get the referral to a hospital.

Mary I am glad you had a lovely Christmas with your family . I am sorry you have to go to hospital . Thank you for your positive posts. I am sorry I don’t respond very quickly to your posts. It’s normally when I feel life is hopeless. Thank you so much for all your encouraging posts. When I went home from hospital 3 weeks ago I had no support my 2 psychiatrists were on holidays and my psychologist also. I have to have heart tests and even the cardiologist was on holidays. Maybe if I had the support I wouldn’t be in hospital again.

Jojo thank you for all the help I wish I could meet you in person to say thank you . I try every day when I wake up to think things will get better but unfortunately things just don’t when you are on your own trying to slog it out it’s so easy to spiral out of control and get to the point where life just doesn’t seem worth it. If it wasn’t for my doctor I don’t think I would be writing this post . I hope you are keeping well Jojo and hope you have happiness in your life. My mum is getting better. She couldn’t talk or walk and her mouth had dropped on one side. And now after a lot of psysio she can walk with help and her face has straightened up.

I don’t know how I will feel after leaving hospital . I suppose I will see soon enough.

Lilly

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Thank you for your very important post. I have been trying to get Saree to consider hospital, but she is just so frightened. I will ask her to read your post which is so encouraging.

I am glad you feel safe in hospital and are accepting of treatment. I am so proud of you. You have come a very long way even if you don’t really notice it.

It doesn’t matter how many times you are in hospital, the important thing is you are doing everything possible to get well. So big hug and big pat on the back from me.

It is good to hear your mum is starting to make progress and recover from her stroke. That must be a relief.

I wish I could meet you too and visit you in hospital. You are an inspiration to me as you have been through so much in life xox

With lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗💐