Feeling desperate to make this stop

[Lilly99]

Hi there, this is my first post which is really scary. Anyway I am not good feeling really depressed and anxious . I have tried everything psychiatrists, psychologists. Mental health nurses. Medication , I even spent 4 weeks in mental hospital to have tms which obviously didn’t work . Anyway feeling like life isn’t worth living . I feel like I have had enough of this battle called life . No matter what I try nothing works . I couldn’t be more of a joke and a waste of space really what’s the point I am never going it get better . Do people ever truly get better?

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I am well Lilly, thank you for asking. I hope you do decide to go back into hospital as you would be safe there, wouldn’t have to organise meals for yourself, you would be around other people and hopefully someone would get you out of bed and encourage you to have a shower. Some of these things are really hard, however, are important and can make you feel better.

I have been where you are and know how tough it can be. Although it was hard I found hospital was the better option rather than trying to manage at home by myself (for the reasons I mentioned above).

Give the new psychiatrist a chance. It could result in a breakthrough for you and turn life around. You just never know. Don’t lose hope or give up now when you have come so far.

You matter Lilly and deserve to get better. Don’t ever forget that.

Sending you positive thoughts and a great big hug. Lots of love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗💐

[Saree_p]

Thanks Mary,

These COVID issues have definitely created a lot of issues for people.

I personally wish that the hospital admission was more productive than it was and that was more purely because I took such a long time off work. I feel like the world has completely slowed down and I have been hit by a car crash. I guess I've been holding onto the belief that I cannot have bipolar.

Lilly, and Jojo.

Lilly, just hang in there. Give it a go. I made the decision when i was admitted that I would do everything I could to work with the staff and psychiatrist even though I thought it was a waste. In the end very little was achieved, however a true diagnosis and medication changes have been made. I guess what I am trying to say it that all things take time. For me, mine was some of the worst news we could've heard because there is a huge component that we can only manage and will never be cured.

Sorry, I am trying to be uplifting and encouraging, but fear that I am failing.

Lilly, give it a chance. Try your best to view it as an opportunity to grow and at least have support around you rather than be alone.

How is today going? Mine is pretty crap. Some days truly just suck!

Saree

[White_Rose]

Hello Saree, Lilly and Jojo

Maybe it's because it's wintertime that we all feel so flat. We do need the sun to warm us physically but we also need it for the benefits it brings. I'm sure you have all heard of Seasonally Adjusted Disorder (SAD). The person with this does feel bad in winter without the benefit of the sun on their bodies. We are all like that to some extent so maybe we have to grit our teeth and sit it out to summer or at least spring.

I have been battling constant panic attacks for the past few weeks. I am cross because I have not had panic attacks for many years and I suspect it has been triggered by the event I mentioned above. It does seem at times that we manage one part of our lives only to fall down in another area. It's at times like this that I want to say I'm too tired to battle on. Sometimes I'm not battling, just enduring until I get my strength back. It is so hard for all of us at the moment.

Please rest as much as you can ladies. Just hang on until the sun shines again (literally and metaphorically.

Mary

[Lilly99]

Hi everyone ,

Thank you Jojo , Saree, and Mary for your messages of support. I do really appreciate your words of advice .
I am sorry that you are having panic attacks Mary and you are not coping Saree. I am thinking of you both and all I can say is I know how you both feel and it really sucks. I wish I could post words of advice but atm i am not coping and very low myself. I feel like such a failure. I can’t hold myself up. And struggling to support my family. I am such a failure as a mum.
lilly

[Sophie_M]

Dear Lilly99,

Welcome back to the forums. It sounds like its been really overwhelming recently. We understand it must be so difficult right now but there is support and you are not alone. Please remember that if at any point you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should contact 000 (triple zero).
 
We do encourage you to either get in contact with our Support Service available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 as well as any other offline professional supports that you may be accessing.
 
 

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Sorry to hear you are still feeling very low. You are definitely not a failure in any shape or form!

You are someone who has had more than their fair share of heartache in life and are doing their utmost to deal with it all. So be gentle with yourself as you are facing huge challenges that probably are often exhausting and overwhelming to say the least.

Have you decided whether or not you will go back into hospital? If you haven’t it might be worth making a list of positives and negatives to help with your decision.

Personally I think it would be really difficult to try and tough it out at home all by yourself the way you are feeling now. However, only you can make that call.

Take good care of yourself and stay strong xox

With lots of love and hugs YFF Jojo 🌻🤗💐🦔