Feeling desperate to make this stop

[Lilly99]

Hi there, this is my first post which is really scary. Anyway I am not good feeling really depressed and anxious . I have tried everything psychiatrists, psychologists. Mental health nurses. Medication , I even spent 4 weeks in mental hospital to have tms which obviously didn’t work . Anyway feeling like life isn’t worth living . I feel like I have had enough of this battle called life . No matter what I try nothing works . I couldn’t be more of a joke and a waste of space really what’s the point I am never going it get better . Do people ever truly get better?

[Saree_p]

Hi Lilly,

I've been doing some research today - really not pleasant, but I came across this:

https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/what-is-cptsd

I confess I am really struggling with the concept as I am beyond stubborn. But there are some things you have said that triggered in my brain.

Hope it might help in some way xx

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Just checking in with you to see how you are doing. Saree has given you a website to look up and I hope that is of some help to you.

Did you manage to go back to your GP or psychologist?

I hope you are coping with your son and also looking after yourself too.

As always you are in my thoughts and prayers xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯🐾🐾

[White_Rose]

Hello Lilly

How are going? I hope you are feeling a bit better. I have just looked at the web site Saree recommended and it's good. Have you looked at it? I believe you will see yourself there and I am so very sad for you. While I have thought you had many of the attributes described there the full impact had escaped me. I have always been able to see why you are so afraid but this clarified and amplified your feelings.

Do you think you can start again seeing a psychiatrist? This is far too large a burden to carry on your own. We are always here to listen and help as much as possible, but it may not be enough. Getting professional help is really important for you. It will take time to heal and I hope you can start your healing journey soon.

I'm sorry to learn your son has so many problems and is directing his anger at you. It is unfair but if he has no other avenue where he can vent he will continue to upset you. I wonder if you can get him to contact the Kids Helpline. They have a 24/7 phone line 1800 55 1800 and a web page https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/ They are there for people up to age 25 plus parents and carers. You may find it good to get help on his behalf.

Come and chat to us again.

Mary

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Lost track of time so this is a bit late - hope you are still up and about. How are you travelling now and how is your son going?

I wish you had someone like Saree does who could help and support you in person.

Thinking of you xox

With much love YFF Jojo 🌻🕯🤗

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

A warm hello to you. How is your weekend going? Is it easier than week days?

Have been out for a walk & coffee with Wayne who has a cold so I better not get it lol!

Hope you are managing to get through. I have Poppy curled up on my lap and she is snoring 💤 It’s so cute and very comforting on a cold night.

Bye for now. Take care of yourself xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯🦔

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I hope you are safe and managing as well as can be expected. I don’t know how you get by with very little sleep.

Last night I was still wide awake at 3am so I got up for a while then went back to bed about 4am. When I got up this morning I felt really terrible. I am starting to yawn as I write this so will be in bed pretty early tonight to catch up.

How was was your weekend Lilly?

Thinking of you and yours xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯🦔

[Saree_p]

Morning Lilly,

Hope you are ok!

How is it going with your son this week?

Please read through the article, it really helped me to understand the terror and fear I feel.
I had a real bad night- bf almost took me to hospital, but medication managed to put me to sleep. - but knowing what was happening and why (to some extent) was helpful, for both of us.

I hope you have managed to write your fears down and convey them on paper.

Really hope to hear from you soon!

Saree,

P.S. hope your got some good rest Jojo and are ok.

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Thinking of you tonight. Have been having problems with posting so hope this goes through.

I am more with it now that I have caught up on sleep. Are you still sleeping badly?

Have you returned to work yet or do you need to look after your son? Hope he is recovering well.

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🕯🤗🦔

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I hope you are safe. I do care about you and hope some day you will feel like chatting again, but respect your need for privacy.

Take care and you know where I am if you ever need anything at all.

With much love dear friend xox

YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯🦔

[Lilly99]

Dear Jojo, Saree and Mary

Sorry I haven’t been posting things haven’t been good . Actually they couldn’t get any worse emotionally . Sorry feeling really guarded atm. My family is completely broken things have escalated out of my control . I am broken there isn’t any fixing me . I have failed as a mum. I feel like there isn’t any hope . Things cant get better it’s just not possible.

Thank you for posting I have been reading them but feeling to worthless to respond. I am not a good friend . I push people away .

Thank you saree for the website but I haven’t looked at it yet . To afraid of what I might read about myself .

I have agreed to see the psychologist on Thursday however I can’t see how she will help and not sure I have the courage to go there. Really what could she fix in 10 sessions . I am waste of space she can’t fix that. I will be wasting her time .

I am glad you are getting help saree. I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused

Thank you for all your support

Lilly