Feeling desperate to make this stop

[Lilly99]

Hi there, this is my first post which is really scary. Anyway I am not good feeling really depressed and anxious . I have tried everything psychiatrists, psychologists. Mental health nurses. Medication , I even spent 4 weeks in mental hospital to have tms which obviously didn’t work . Anyway feeling like life isn’t worth living . I feel like I have had enough of this battle called life . No matter what I try nothing works . I couldn’t be more of a joke and a waste of space really what’s the point I am never going it get better . Do people ever truly get better?

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

I know you are not going to reply to this post, but just wanted to say hello anyway. Hope you feel a little better than last night.

You are probably sick of me saying this, but please try and go back to see your GP again to keep contact with her.

Hope your son is still improving and will be home soon.

Take good care of yourself xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯

[Lilly99]

Dear Jojo,

I am replaying to your post because I need to apologise for how I have treated you. You have been so caring and supportive and I do really appreciate everything and you being here for me .

I am not a good friend to have Jojo I find it easier to push people away before they get to close . I have treated you so badly .

I am in the same head space as last night and lately every night. It’s so hard to get through .

I know you want me to see the g.p but I have been there done that so many times I can’t see how it’s going to help.

My son is improving but I fear to patch him up for court in the near future.

Sorry again Jojo for causing so much trouble . I am so embarrassed by my behaviour ,

lilly

[Lilly99]

Dear Jojo,

Here I am at 1am pacing, hand wringing agitation and emotions through the roof . I am really a joke and so pathetic . Wondering how I will make it through the night.

When did I become this person? I couldn’t hate myself more .

Lilly

[Lilly99]

Maybe this is happening because I deserve to feel like this.

Sorry again Jojo. I am completely out of control.

Lilly

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

You have nothing to apologise for. I understand when you push people away it’s because you are scared and unwell. I am glad at what you have written on the forums as it gets it out out of your head and hopefully lightens your load a little. Please keep writing.

There is no way in the world you deserve to feel like you do. You have been through hell and back which understandably has had a negative effect on you.

I just feel seeing someone in person like your GP would help, because if nothing else, you could share your concerns about your son.

I am sorry you sleep so poorly. Do you have any apps on your phone you could listen to that help induce sleep?

I will always think of you as a friend Lilly despite what your depression is telling you xox

Take good care of yourself and sending you a great big hug 🤗

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🕯

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Hello I am thinking of you and wishing you positive thoughts and energy.

I hope you eventually managed to get some sleep. It is horrible if you can’t sleep and can really affect your mood.

Just remember you are not alone Lilly there are others on the forums who can definitely relate to you.

Take good care of yourself xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯

[Saree_p]

Hi Lilly,

Jojo has some wonderful advice as always xx

Is it possible to reach out as you have advised me?

I'll be doing what I can to make my appointments this week, might you be able to also?

You said in my thread that I deserve help etc, so why don't you also?
I wish we could get you to see the wonderful person we see. Xx

Saree

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Sending you some caffeine ☕️ and 🍰. Hope this cheers you up a bit.

I went to see the Lion King on Wednesday and thoroughly enjoyed it tho there is one really sad part in it. Did you ever see the cartoon version? I would love to see the stage show one day.

Take care & try to get some rest xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯

[Saree_p]

Hi Lilly,

Just wanted to check-in and see how you are?

Thinking of you,

Saree

[Jojo100]

Dear Lilly

Hello hope the weather is nice wherever you are. I am having wet & stormy weather tonight. My little dog looks 👀at me as if I am crazy when I show her the door so she can go to the toilet!

Just wondering how you are feeling now and hope you have managed to get some rest.

Stay safe and strong xox

With love YFF Jojo 🌻🤗🕯