Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[Guest_1584]

God S wasn't kidding about being careful with my back.

l was almost good after yesterday and my daughter and l going for a real good beach walk all over the place all afternoon. This morning it felt almost normal again finally.

Untilllllll, a customer picked up a big van tonight and got he's ute stuck, He was a tiny guy and we had to unhook everything push the car push the van lift this lift that , l was trying to be careful and use my knees but heavy stuff and he couldn't help much and at one stage l felt 3 or 5 loud clicks from my lower back and thought okkkk, that's gonna be that again..

So much for progress it's back to where it was a wk ago now but l'm hoping it might be a bit better tomorrow. Did my stretches, ouch, and put on some stuff, we see. l discovered a great way to sleep last night that made an incredible difference just over night so l'll be trying that one again for sure.

Next time some physic tells me to watch my back l think l'll lock myself up.

Hope everyones had a nice wkend.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Well, the good news is my backs till improving. After that thing last night l was pretty worried at what l might wake up to this morning.

But you know what , l think the 3 or 4 clicks l felt actually took the kink out. Sometimes we might be a bit lopsided with kinks in spine and hip. The chiropractor explaine dit all to me one time. Well l often get pains on the lower right, you can literally feel the bones being out of whack and thats where it went this time. But those clicks were on the far side last night and l think it aligned things back in because the bad sides felt really good all day , tender but all aligned again , stroke of luck .

Been a week from hell though none the less . First the back , then l've had non stop problems with a guy renting my cabin not paying rent so l finally had a gut full and gave him his notice. l depend on that money as a good part of my income. Then l had some centrelink money coming in as well that made up a bit more of it , plus work. Well l also lost the centrelink part as well on Friday. So l'm suddenly a fair whack out of pocket and just being on my own to pay everything , not nice.

Good news is l won't have to jump through constant hoops for centrelink anymore which was a nightmare and so stressful , or put up with the idiot renting my cabin. So if l can get him outa there ok , l wanna do some work on it then rent that out again hopefully to someone that actually pays their bloody rent so l should get that coming in again, take a few mths though . And also change work a bit to make up the rest which would make me 100% independent and no more hoops and stress on the side so l'm really hoping it all might be a bit of a blessing in descise in the long run.

Everything crossed.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Well , the good news is my backs come very good , still tender no gymnastics yet and l'll certainly have to be careful for the next few mths but basically getting up and down quite well now , carefully but much much better. Whatever clicked the other night def' put things back in in some ways it's been totally different ever since.

Bad news is , l can't wait for next week, this one and the last keep coming, l dunno wth is going on.

First the back then the financial hits and losing my tenant at the cabin and now ex gf. l don't know why l read it. There's been a message from her sitting on my phone for about 5 days. l didn't open it because l knew it would bring me down. Well today l did , God knows why , lwas even thinking about deleting it without reading it at all and just saying goodbye to it all. Why didn't l just go with that idea.

As some might know , she had some head issues well , she was in one of her moods and said some things as only she can mange to do and put in ways she has a talent for.

l tried to have things end on a nice note and in a respectful way , especially for her l wanted that for her because her ex H left in the ugliest most hurtful ways. l wanted it for her. It was basically her idea we split btw . But so much for that , sometimes with the warped way she thinks , nice just isn't possible.

Icing on the cake for the week.

Hopefully for the few days left of this week , l can just work and mind my own business and now even leave the house or look at the phone and maybe then at least nothing else can happen until next week now. Had enough for this one that's for sure.

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx,

Sorry it's been such a rough week for you with the ex to top it off. I hope you get the cabin sorted and find a good tenant. Some people are unbelievable aren't they. Good to hear your back is feeling better.

Thx heaps for your support on my thread too.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm , thanks for that and dropping in and ahh, no worries.

The wkend thank God, l'll see if l can keep myself outa trouble eh , haha . Goin to a bonfire sat night , think l need a drink.

Have a good wkend one and all hey .

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

That bonfire sounds like an excellent plan 🙂

Thanks heaps mate for posting back and being with us....You are a legend!

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hi one and all and thanks for that paul you too mate.

Well l didn't make it to the bonfire unfortunately . l worked in the morning and then wanted to mow before l left but a couple of nasty bumps on the ride on jarred my back and it was killing me again for the rest of the night so l didn't go. Bit better today thank God , thought l was back to square one for awhile there.

Many thoughts about my situation here over the weekend , probably too much as a weekend at jome on my own usually does set's me off.

It's all so confusing. l've had a beautiful wkned actually , even with the back going off again.That was about 5ish sat so l lit a fire for the night and watched dv's and great movies, granted moaning like a bear everytime l tried to move especially getting up haha butttt, apart from that. Today l slept in , l'm trying to train myself to get proper sleep last few wks and really made some progress l'm up to 6 and 7hrs most nights and every now and then l've even slept in and gotten 8 or 9 hrs. hate this crashing at 12 or 1 thing though , such a waste of the beautiful night.

Tday later just drove over to next town , back was a lot better again once l got up so l risked a drive, that was setting it off last week but l'm driving pretty good again now once l get in , getting outs still a pain though but getting much better.

Been a damn nice wkend tbh an dthis bloody house l'm just so comfortable in it and it's yards and views. l never get claustrophobic. Such a shame , because l just don't have a life here and in 11yrs in this district not one good thing has happened except times with my daughter , of course, and the odd time with a brother or a friend or two now and then.

Know no one to speak of , work struggle here , marriage , life , 11yrs , nothing.

l can't be bothered starting again or moving , just so comfy in this house but this towns probably been the worst of all. It's nice , relaxing , but nothing, no life. 11 yrs , nothing , l'd be crazy to stay , right. The only thing would be someone new now comes along or some life happens for me here finally, sure wouldn't wanna be holding my breath for that one though. Guess there's nothing worng with being on your own l'm actually quite content a lot of the time . But l want more than this. l dunno.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Besides from all that , l'm too damn close to ex. D's 17 , driving soon anyway, there's almost no need to stay near ex anymore and all l can say is thank God .

[CMF]

Hey rx,

Om hearing you. There's no guarantee you'll be happier if you move but if you won't know if you don't try. You could make up a list of pros and cons. What do you wznt from life, what will make you more content, what's missing etc. It's great that you are happy with yr own company, so what are you looking for to balance that out?

Hope this helps.

CMF x

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm , thanks for dropping in.

Good thoughts too thanks for that and yeah l pretty well know what l want and why moving would change a lot of things that'll probably never change if l stick around here.

l wouldn't say l'd be choosing my own company right now although l am fine with that for awhile , certainly not for ever though l've just not got much choice right now. Another aspect is that l'm still working through things with gf , well ex now , too. l need a bit of time , yaknow, clear up my thoughts and feelings about it all. And to see if it's really over this time too.So admittedly it's sorta handy in that way to right now at least.

Hope your doin ok.

rx