DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Doolhof]

Good Morning Everyone,

I'm going to try and get myself organised and schedule in a walk this morning before I go off to my volunteering role.

I'm working hard on cutting off the negative thoughts before they become too much of an issue to handle.

It's a bit like when you see someone you don't want to run into on a street, so you cross to the other side to avoid them. I am trying to do that with my thoughts. I know the negatives are there, I accept that, I am just trying to side track them a little so they are not the only thing I see!

Right. Got to organise my morning so I have time for a walk!

Cheers all from Dools

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone ,waves to Grandy, Mrs Dools and everyone reading.

Mrs Dools,

I hope you had a big walk and got everything organised yesterday.

I find the idea of avoiding negative thoughts like avoiding people you don’t want to see interesting. When I used to try avoid someone in the street I would end up seeing them somewhere later on so I found I owuls just smile say hello and move on.

If only I could talk to my negative thoughts with a smile and a see you later !

I would like a vest that repels all negative thoughts and comments by others instead of me being an emotional sponge to anything negative!!!

I will think on how to find a repellant vest!

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky and All,

When you find one of those repellent vests, can you get me one as well please!

I've not been feeling well physically or mentally recently. My Dr doesn't seem to know what is going on. He did send me to a specialist who had a student with him. He left the rom and told me the student could work out what the issue was. The student had no idea. The specialist returned, told me to come back in September and at the desk I was charged $150.00.

I could have saved myself that money and asked the cleaner what she thought!

The last psychologist I was seeing told me he doesn't believe in Christianity and sometimes that is the only thing that holds me together. He was really dumping on it badly, then told me when he was depressed he would go to the city and perve on young girls. Then he told me I need to help myself.

I cancelled my next appointment with him.

Yesterday I was in the garden and felt totally overwhelmed by everything that needs doing there. We have at least 6 tall gum trees that died over summer, one keeps dropping branches in the drive way. I have asked my husband if he can use the chainsaw and help me remove that tree at least.

I might have to learn how to use the chain saw myself as it just isn't happening and I don't have any money to pay anyone to do it for me.

I'm feeling frustrated by so many things right now! I need to find a way to let things go. If I don't I might explode!

Cheers all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Dearest Mrs Dools🌷...and all...

I was upset and very saddened by reading your post...A specialist leaving you in the hands of his student...and the psychologist..putting Christianity down and stating to you he went perving on girls...shows what kind of man he is...they are both doing the wrong thing by you and others and should be reported to the medical tribunal....I’m sorry if I sound mean...buts it’s just so wrong...They are not giving you their help and the help and there duty of care is non existent....They shouldn’t be allowed to treat anyone like that....

Im sorry you felt over whelmed yesterday in the garden... 5 acres is a lot to care for.....Please Mrs Dools..don’t try to chain saw it down....I had a big tree fall on my other property and a couple of dead ones...I can’t chain saw..I put a sign out front saying ‘free wood” must chain saw and remove...only cost is a trailer load to be left...It worked...the tree got removed..they got wood and so did I....Maybe something you could try?...

Mrs Dools..sweety...feeling frustrated is a horrible feeling..release it all here if you feel to...were here for you...or maybe if you can..walk out your front/back door..take a bottle of water with you..and have a gentle slow walk on your property..find some where pretty..then just sit down maybe under a tree and try to relax.,,I know that’s hard to do..but please try precious lady...take some time for you...Your important...Everything else can wait...be gentle and kind to you....You matter to me and to so very many more here...🌷💜🤗..

Sending you some love and very caring hugs dear friend🤗💜..

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Mrs dools, Grandy and everyone,

Mrs Dools,

Like Grandy I am so annoyed that the two psychologists treated you so unprofessionally.

I think that is why I have not tried many counsellors or psychologists.

I am sorry you feel so frustrated and as soon as I work out how to make my repellent vest you sill be the first to get one!!

Sending peaceful thoughts

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy, Quirky and all,

I'm thinking I'm a little burnt out so need to find ways to recharge the batteries!

Cheers for now from Dools

[Ggrand]

Just sitting quietly next to you Mrs Dools and holding your hand with love..reassurance...and care....please take your time dear friend...and look after yourself the very best you can....I hope you are feeling better very soon..

💖🤗...

Grandy..🌹🦜🦘🐓🦉

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy, Quirky and All,

After Church today, I decided to get a little more done in the garden. First I just sat in the sun for a while to warm myself up.

My husband is out today so lunch was toast. Out in the garden I found a sunny spot under the fruit trees. I was very surprised to see three lady birds!

I felt like I was out there for hours! Tried to enjoy the luscious green colour of the grass growing beneath the fruit trees! I like the colour green...but all that green is a bit ridiculous when I want it all pulled up! Ha.Ha.

Came inside for a nice soak in the bath, that should do the muscles some good.

Trying to look for the positives. I keep telling myself my friends would love to have my issues seeing as they no longer have a place of their own to live! It would help if I could be more thankful for what I do have!

Guess that is depression and stress though, it sucks the joy out of us at times.

Cheers all from Dools

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools, Grandy and everyone reading,

Your description of your garden sounds inviting.

I think when depressed we know that we should b ethankful but that tricky deoression

makes even the greenest grass look grey.

How do we tame depression so we can see the truth?

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

When we arrived at this place, there was not a weed in sight. The previous owners had "nuked" the place! Weeds didn't grow for about a year!

I knew that couldn't last! I dreaded the thought of looking after this garden from the beginning. My husband told me it was my job!

I need to remind myself that it is a beautiful garden. The birds like all the trees and creepy crawlies live under the bushes. Different times of the year there are flowers.

The seasons all show their own side in the garden.

I could embrace the refreshing green of the garden, it means we have had rain, so many places have not had rain for years!

When I look at our huge garden through depressed, stressed and overwhelmed eyes it is a burden.

If I look at it with eyes of curiosity and thankfulness, I see the different shades of colours everywhere, the beauty of a rose, the details of a tiny lady bird, hear the sound of bird song, see rain drops on a leaf and so much more.

Maybe I need to look at the weeds I have managed to pull up and be thankful for my abilities, not look at the other 2 1/2 acres that need attention!

Maybe I can borrow a well trained goat!

Cheers all from Dools