DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools, waves to Grandy, and to all reading ,

As I read your post, I am sitting in bed trying to motivate myself to get up in the cold!

A day of snoozing sounds wonderful. I saw a post once on FB about how resting when you are tired is a good way of looking after yourself.

I think seeing a psychologist is helping yourself .

Maybe we should have a national snooze day !

I see that you are always trying to find ways to help yourself and of course some times it is so hard but you keep trying and I admire that in you.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

To be honest, I have just about had enough! Why keep trying? Wouldn't it be easier to just give up?

I don't want to be doing this same battle all of the time. I am tired Quirky!

I'm trying to keep busy with washing and housework then plan to read for a while and maybe go out in the garden.

Then what? What have I really achieved? Another day of nothing!

Ah sorry Quirky and all. My mind is tired. I am exhausted.

Cheers from Dools

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools,

NO need to be sorry, you are fed up and exhausted from trying.

I feel the medical system has let you down. You keep trying but are not getting the help and support you need.

I can feel your frustration and hoped I had an answer.

Take care

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hey Quirky,

Thanks.

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dools 🌷..

Oh Mrs Dools you have achieved a lot .washing , housework gardening..sweetheart that’s a lot..even if you don’t think it is.,.it really is...

Mrs Dools..I wake up daily to an empty house...Sometimes I can accept that and I’m okay..but mostly my thoughts are why am I here..I don’t make any difference...What am I to do with me today...Mostly I go back to bed in tears fighting myself because who cares if I’m here or not...Why am I here....no one really cares....no one really..except for the people here...Whom I’ve grown to love and are now my family....you included dear lady..your important to me...you have pulled me up many many times with your encouragement, strength, kindness, humour, and determination...Thank you so much...Please believe me when I say that you are so much needed by so many people whom you’ve never met that love and care for you so much....That is one reason to keep trying sweetheart..we are also that much better because of your love and care you give of yourself to us..here on these forums...We love you Mrs Dools...

I am learning that...we are here..on this universe to enjoy the beautiful universe god has created for us, first....Please try as hard as you can to take time out of your day to sit outside and do nothing but blend in with the universe around you..I feel being mindful in nature helps to balance out our soul...I believe that god has given this beautiful world for us..so that we can take some time out to watch, see, listen, feel it all to balance our soul..

You give yourself so selfless to the elderly at the nursing home, you give them some laughs and care when you’re their...they are probably looking forward to seeing you each week...You’re giving them some joy in their twilight years...that’s special and your a special person...The op shop, you greet your customers and chat with them, you could be the only person they talk to on that day...you even play with the little children and brighten up their day as well...Mrs Dools..precious lady...you are achieving so much, and giving yourself to a lot of people...and making their day shine because you were a part of it....

Please...be alright dear lady...and be very gentle on you..it is worth it..to keep trying...

You are very much loved and cared for precious lady...by a lot of people....that would be something you could put in your positive journal..because you positively have made a difference in our lives..

Love and hugs precious friend..💖🤗.

Grandy.

[Doolhof]

Dear Grandy,

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. It means a lot to me. This forum is a very special place isn't it!

It can be hard to work out how to get through a day, what will help you to move on, what might offer a sense of meaning and purpose to you day.

Like you mentioned, sitting outside and bonding with nature helps. I did most of my bonding with nature from inside yesterday! It was blowing a gale here all day.

My time out in nature was when I was untangling the washing from the clothesline!

Today my mind will hopefully be too busy to be able to think much negative stuff. I have a couple of appointments to attend, will be at the Op Shop for a little while then have to attend some training for the home for the elderly.

The wind is still raging out there. Maybe I will go and stand in the wind for a while and let it refresh me!

Hope you have some plans for today Grandy!

Cheers and hugs to you dear lady from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Yesterday was busy going from here to there. I had a late appointment with my Dr. That guy deserves a gold star. Actually he deserves a million gold stars! He helps me to still be here.

I'm wanting to change my life around. I have had a life time of this depression and other mental health issues. I have tried fighting it, accepting it, ignoring it and trying to work with it.

I know that I have so much to be thankful for, at times I just don't see it or find it hard to recognise.

How can our minds deteriorate so very quickly, sometimes for no know reason? The human brain is amazing! It can also be so darn confusing at times!

Before me is a new day. What will I do with it?

I do have to drive almost an hour to Centrelink to lodge some forms! That process might take me a couple of hours...not the driving but the waiting to lodge the forms! That could be at least 4 hours in total just trying to do that.

Maybe I will take a thermos and a book with me!

Hope you all have some plans for your day!

Cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

I just received a message stating an older couple I know have just lost their home, car and everything they own to a fire. All they have is the clothes they are wearing.

My mind is trying to visualise what it is like for them.

I'm trying to put my depression into perspective. My issues are nothing compared to what they face!

How can mental health issues be so consuming when for me there are not huge issues like this to be dealt with, just trying to live each day.

It doesn't make sense.

Cheers all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dools..

Im really sorry to that..Thats so sad....my heart goes out to them....I hope so much that they are both okay🤗..

How are you feeling Mrs Dools?..

Life can be hard..very hard..and I’ll agree with you it’s not fair...and doesn’t make sense...

Just know sweet precious lady that I’m sitting you and hope that you are doing okay....

Mental health is so all consuming to the person struggling with it...

Mrs Dools...you’re strong within your soul...I wish that one day we all can have control of our minds....Living daily in the moment is hard but do able...If we could live only minute by minute in the here and now.eventually we will find peace....Precious lady just keep taking those baby steps dear friend...you’re doing a good job.,,I’m proud of you...

Sending you my love and some warm hugs...to a beautiful lady...💖🤗..

Grandy..

[Doolhof]

Hi there Grandy,

I went to visit these people the other day. They have temporarily moved in with a son and daughter in law. It is amazing they are safe! It could have a real tragedy if they had perished in the fire.

Guess there is always something to be thankful for.

Today there were a few little issues at the place where I volunteer. I was able to ask myself if it was worth making a big issue out of what was happening or to find a way to let it go. I managed to let most of it go.

My husband came home from grocery shopping. All the meat has gluten in it. I asked if he had checked and he said he forgot. Guess I will be eating Vegetarian this week!

I can pop into the shops and purchase some meat I can eat when I am next in town if I really want some. Another little issue that is easily sorted and not worth making a fuss over.

While thinking about all the jobs that need doing around here, I was feeling a bit frustrated, then I was thinking of my friends who no longer have a house, along with millions of other people around the world and I decided to be thankful I had jobs to do!

Our minds can take us on quite a journey! I am going to try and retrain mine to take the thankfulness path!

On the not so good days, I am going to try more acceptance!

Hope you are doing okay Grandy.

Cheers to you and thanks for dropping by!

Cheers from Dools