DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy,

Thanks for dropping in! We had some much needed rain yesterday and it might rain again later today. The dirt has turned to mud in the gutters! We have not made the time or effort to clean them out.

I'd like to have a pet goat, preferably one with three legs so it can't escape! Ha. Ha. There is no feed here in the summer though so it could become expensive. Good to know your goat has a friend, sorry you had to give your goat up though!

I think it would be good if the town had a goat! It could be tethered to various places for a couple of hours each day, then allowed to run free in someone's yard until the next day.

I've been struggling a little and find the least little thing tips me over at present. Trying to find ways to rest and build up my resilience again.

Trying to remember to look for the good in life!

I've not read much of that book so want to make time to do that. I sometimes jot down some of the good points and put them in my journal and underline them in bright colours.

Hope you are doing okay Grandy! All the best with every aspect of your health.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Dearest Mrs Dools...

I like your idea of jotting down good helpful parts of your book...I find it hard to read..I have no concentration read..my mind wanders away from my book....I have discovered audio books and I find I can listen to someone else telling me a story....

I can relate so much to little things tipping you over...I have been researching self talk..(our beautiful Deebi does that)..Apparently it’s one of our strongest coping tools...and supposed to work really good....maybe when you start hearing those niggles of depression coming on tell it no go away..or no I’m not listening..and find something to do to occupy your mind that you like doing...I start doing colour by numbers on my iPad..I didn’t like it at first, but I preserved and now enjoy it enough to loose my negative thoughts in it..maybe that’s something you could try?...idk just thought...

Im pleased you got rain...we had a few drops the other day and within 10 minutes the rain dried up and the wet dirt is nothing but dust again....

I hope today bring you some light precious lady...and your mind finds some peace....

Sending you some love and hugs precious lady....💜🤗..and a rainbow..because they are so pretty and to me full of hope..🌈..

Take care of you beautiful friend...

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools and everyone reading,

I like your idea of copying out words from a book that have meaning for you. I have done that but not used colour, that sounds like a good idea.

Like, Grandy, I too can relate to that feeling of the least little thing thing tippingnobe over yet at other times we can cope with bug things in our stride. That is strange but depends on our mood.

Grandy , I don’t do self talk as I have my inner critic so there can be lots of noise but I do write letters or even emails to myself so I can try to make sense of my thoughts and actions.

I am sitting in the morning sun in bed when I should have been up ages ago, guess my shop will have a late opening today, My idea of self care!

kind thoughts to all ,

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy, Quirky and All,

Thanks for your comments here ladies, always appreciated.

I've not listened to a talking book before, sounds like a great way though to keep your mind occupied and distracted. Might give one a try sometime. Grandy, do you prefer listening to a male or female narrator?

I do find it helpful to write down those helpful bits from books.

I have also started up another page for nice little moments, like the kangaroos I saw while out driving recently, the kookaburra that sang in a tree near our kitchen window and the glorious sun set colours.

I'm trying really hard to accept and move on those negative thoughts.

Sometimes it is like the "Feelings" of gloom are there, with out any thoughts having triggered them. Guess I have to work on that as well.

Tomorrow I will be in the home for the elderly, so hopefully I will have some laughs there.

Cheers all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Dearest Mrs Dools🌷...

Just popping in to wish you a beautiful day today with your volunteer day with the elderly people....I hope you get as much light today as I know you would give your young at heart beautiful elderly....

love and hugs...lovely Mrs Dools....💖🤗.

Grandy....

[Doolhof]

Dear Grandy,

Thank you as always lovely lady. I had a great day yesterday in the home for the elderly. I helped out with some craft in the morning, that is always a lot of fun. The ladies who organise the craft session are wonderful.

In the afternoon I took some balls and bean bags into an area and had people whacking the balls around. There were so many laughs, it was wonderful.

Yes Grandy, I was having as much fun as the residents were and so enjoyed being able to offer them an opportunity for some pleasure as well.

The sun is supposed to be shining today so I will go for a walk. The birds are chirping, greeting the early morning.

I just need to get my mind to sing for joy like the birds and that will be a great start for every day!

Cheers to you Grandy and to all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dools...

Your post is so very heartwarming hearing that you and the elderly people were laughing...I can safely say for today that.... Mrs Dools 1..beasty a Big 0..Well done lovely lady.🤗..Giving yourself and your time with so much love and care to the beautiful people their is gold...You are making their lives a lot better....

Did you go for a walk today?....I tried but couldn’t...I will again one day soon....

Animals seem to live each minute of their days so mindfully....I’m lucky that I have heaps of birds around my place and can hear them daily greeting their new day with joy....I often sit on my veranda and watch them playing..the funniest thing I see is they sit on a dry dirt patch and wash themselves in it...dust going everywhere...it only takes one then they all join in...maybe it’s to cold to wash in the water bath I have for them.....

Your doing really well dear friend...You’re an inspiration to me to keep on keeping on ....like you do....🤗...Thank you for the lovely person you are...

Good night...I hope you sleep good tonight and dream Peacefully...

Love and comfy hugs💜🤗

Grandy..

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy and all reading,

Hope you have managed to get out in the garden or have been for a walk. I have done both recently. Didn't go for a walk today but spent some time weeding and also gathering up more sticks.

When I have appointments in different towns, I like to have a walk around the streets or along a creek if there is one. I was little surprised to see one creek that usually has water was so dry even this time of year! At times that creek has flooded quite high in the past.

I'm thinking of other ideas I can implement with the equipment that is available at the home for the elderly. The ladies were having such a laugh, it was wonderful.

Some days are better than others aren't they Grandy! As the sun has been shining today, I have tried to enjoy being outdoors for a while.

Tomorrow it may be raining so that might be a day to read, work on my journal or be creative some other way.

Hope everyone finds the inner strength they need to keep going!

Cheers all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dools...

Thank you for asking...I did wLk to my friends place on Saturday but she wasn’t home so I continued walking to the highway..then back home...The next day I walked again to hers and stopped in for a pot of tea, cake and some chatting.....

We had a bit of rain last night and a misty sort of day....could have been sleet..,

I wish I could walk around the bigger towns when I go...It’s to daunting for me to do that....I know there’s a beautiful river in the bigger town...I remember the hospital taking a few of us out for a few hours to the river.....Maybe one day..

Our dam out here is so sad...it’s only around 2% full...it’s water capacity is more the Sydney harbour...The experts are saying it will dry up around Christmas if we don’t get some proper rain....Not sure what will happen to this little village if it does.....

I think it’s beautiful you having laughs with the elderly...and trying to find different ways of giving them some fun....What a beautiful caring person you are Mrs Dools....I wish you good luck in finding something fun to do with the equipment you have their at the nursing home.....

Youre so right Mrs Dools..some days are better then other days...I feel that no matter how we are feeling we can only try our best to have the best possible day no matter how the weather is...

I hope your day was good Mrs Dools...and everyone else’s day as well....

Kind thoughts, love and hugs..💜🤗.

Grandy..

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy,

Thanks for sharing. We are supposed to be getting a storm here later today so will see what happens. Had to drop my husband off at 6.00 a.m. to pick up the work van and reversed into a fence! Not quite what I needed this morning. Will check the car out for damage later.

I'm trying to deal with this darn depression, some days it is so horrid.

Had an appointment with a new psychologist. He told me I have to help myself. I know that, but when you are so low that is hard to do.

I'm tired Grandy! Maybe I will just stay home and snooze all day.

Cheers from Dools