DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Doolhof]

Hey Quirky,

Enjoy your shoes! Dance around in them, kick your feet up, show them to people!

Maybe as adults we tend to withdraw from showing happiness, joy, pleasure and excitement at times.

A laugh can be contagious as can be a smile so why not a happy moment sharing something that makes us feel good.

Regarding the residents, some of them bring so much pleasure to my day, I enjoy laughing with them and also crying with them if that is what is happening at that time. Then I try to make them smile again.

My heart goes out to the people who appear lonely or maybe a little lost. I try to connect with them. Even if it is just with a smile or a touch on their arm.

Returning to the idea of being happy, one day I was at the beach, I sat down and made a sand castle. Some people gave me a wide birth as though I was a nut case...an adult making a sand castle! A couple laughed and gave me a smile and asked if I was having fun. One guy even said he wished he had the guts to join me!

Why do we suffocate or restrain opportunities for happiness? I will consider that myself and find ways to add more joy to each day.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Doolsy 🤗 a good loving hug to carry you through your day.

I've been listening and keeping an eye on you just not posting much around for a while. Thank you for your support too in my darks always love your company. Not just words I assure you.

Yes I too feel for people that are lonely, it's very sad unnecessary and cruel space to be in. The elderly are beautiful people mostly to be around. I have no doubt you'd be a bright light in their lives.

How's your foot heart body behaving Doolsy and mentally how are you going? Your recent posts have that lovely positivity about them true to your courageous journey towards peace. I love hearing about the different things you do and admire your motivation and stamina. You really are an inspiration to many including myself, I've learnt a lot from you amongst many here.

Thought maybe we could grab some of our lovelies here and hava cuppa in your garden and watch your upside down (I know I go on about it but love it) birdies, & hear them singing their cheerful melodies and a general chit chat while we relax in the cooler I imagine for you too like Grandy now sun.

I'll bake a gluten free and how's this calorie free in virtual land 🍰choccy of course cake but tastes as fattening as can be.

Care very much about you Doolsy. Thank you for being such a lovely person. Pleasure knowing you.

Love and often thoughts ⚘

[Doolhof]

Hi Deebi and All Reading,

I've had a bit of a "hiccup" in my mental health thanks to a reaction to a medication for a physical medical condition. Seems my system is susceptible to this now. At least I am aware of what is happening and stopped the medication. The effects will take a while to disappear I guess.

Today I decided to drag sticks and branches down tot he future bon fire site. I noticed the cows across from the old rail way lines were close to the fence, so I went over to say "HI" and pulled up some grass for them.

I hadn't noticed the electric fence until it zapped me! That certainly woke me up! Ha. Ha.

Had a nice day in the home for the elderly. One gentleman usually walks around a lot, I invited him to stop for a chat while us volunteers were having lunch, he talked for quite a while and answered my questions. The others were amazed when he left again. No one had ever thought to ask him questions and invite him to sit down with them.

I'm working hard on choofing off the negative thoughts!

Hope you are doing okay Deebi.

Cheers and thanks for all the best wishes and kindness. Cheers from Dools

[demonblaster]

Dear Mrs Doolsy and all ☺
How are you darls?
You're very welcome every words truth.

You surely cop a continuous roll don't you poor lady. Excellent you were on what was going on with meds. I hope it's not too severe and settles sooner than later. With luck your MH might ease off somewhat. Were you on those ones long?

How good the future bonfire sounds. Mesmerising watching fire same with water as you'd know from your beach times. Such a shame we cant be in touch here I live in paradise and surrounded by water and beaches. There are several here I'd be happy to put up in the spare room you'd love it here and our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 too.Talking of I know you get on well with her the darling but wasn't sure whether to let you know she was in hospital. Was thinking might put pressure on you to post there?

Cows are cruisy aren't they. Just mozzying along and it seems not to much agro. Saw a pretty much full size one evidentally still a youngy playing with maybe Mum and sister or Aunty. Was exhilarating they were bumping into eachother head butting & youngy had that youthful spring in it's little jumps. I'll never forget that just like you'll probs never forget that fence 😅 they give a decent tingle don't they.

Been thinking about you talking to the elderly gentleman. It would have given him such a lift in his life. Yes it's a buzz helping people.

Hows the choofing going Doolsy. Ditto. I can see the power in positive thinking. I'm randomly
working on words and letter association I hope to click onto some easy to remember positive affirmations. One was there is HOPE to get better with..

H.. Help out there to
O.. Overcome my
P.. pain
E.. Eventually for eternal peace

There's more to that one. It helped a bit but I want to get letter words I could call them with deeper affirmations on how to get through.
I have so many downs With BP I'm a rapid cycler (4 + a fairly fast) I have a lot which is increasing. The repetition will help convince myself constructively how to get through. In fragments I'm starting to get the pieces of the Jigsaw in largely thx to bb & the Lovely community here.

When I get some words I aim to memorize & habit them to be my go to in hards.

Doolsy how are you going with computers. I'd be happy to help if you have any ? I've got some knowledge and can often figure out things & ask friends.

Have a great day Doolsy ⚘(Bev?) and everyone 🌱new beginnings

[Doolhof]

Hi Deebi,

Thanks for dropping in. I am really struggling and know how easy it would be for me to fall into a huge heap right now, so I am trying to accept these feelings while finding ways to move on. Part of me just wants to give up, but I know that is not the answer!

It seems the medication glitch, confusion with diagnosis from the Doctors and the employment hassles was all too much in one week.

I'm working on things to do to keep myself busy so I can't think too much.

Yes, I did read that Grandy was in hospital again, not sure when she was admitted. I did send her a message to let her know I was thinking of her.

This battle can be so darn hard at times!

At the home for the elderly I do look out for the people who are by themselves. I know some people like their own company and that is fine, I like to just go up to them, say hello and you soon know if they want a chat or to be left alone.

I have written down the HOPE words you used Deebi. Thanks for that. I like to write positives in my journal to look at later.

I might go down later and see if the cows are close to the fence again. Need to find a safer way to get over our fence! Ha. Ha. Need to watch out for that electric fence of the neighbour's as well.

Friends have invited us to lunch tomorrow after I have been to Church and then we are going to watch our friend who is in a play that is supposed to be a comedy. I could do with a good laugh!

Hope you are cruising along okay Deebi. I have a lot of choofing to do today!

Cheers to you from Doolsy

[demonblaster]

Hey Doolsy ☺🤗

Poor love I thought you were doing it hard 🤝

That's the way hun keep that mindset that it's not the right answer. Truth

Doolsy I'm in struggle St too and holding not too bad, my harder parts are ahead.

Yesterday in bed I had a steel mindset moment. I didn't but felt it in my eyes, saying nah I'm going to get through this. Just need to keep reinforcing that and remembering the goods.

I've been here at yours for hrs, nearly got a I'm hoping helpful affirmation technique worked out. I'll let you know when/where it lands hopefully soon.

Wow just a few seconds ago I was going to say I'll be back later (bbl). Spent about 10 minutes trying to think what to say to you because I decided to finish the above later and was at a complete stop. I started to say that and boom... start your engines..vroom

I've been doing a fair bit of beasty choofing too and got through a panic attack mongrels they are.

I'm here and there atm with concentration so I'll choof soon to Grandys (yes I saw your posts, the first one I knew you were in the deeps)

Doolsy I'm learning a lot more. We have a phenomenal (excuse the pun) mindblowing relatively untapped power at our disposal with our brains. When we learn how to drive them and there's definately knowledge, ways and help there'll be no stopping us. Seriously I know now ok let's say 90% sure the majority of us can reach not only peace but for most of us even a taste at times. If not most of the time supreme happiness. I have some reasons to back this. Some I can't discuss here but it doesn't need to be. Basically it's definately do able. Hold on darl and believe it really helps that you can and will get through. I'm with you as often as I can 🤗

Hope you sleep well. Often 🗯 truth.

⚘🌱

I'm working on something that might also help on top of what your doing.

Darl do you breath deeply much. It helps with energy and I know at times it's so hard to do but as often as you can it gets the oxygen to our bods that are tense and helps us relax.

In with the good... out with the bad. Imagine your pain leaving your body as you breathe out.

[Ggrand]

Hello Mrs Dool, waves Deebi and everyone..

I want to thank you for your lovely post to me and also say how really sorry your doing it hard again....

I think there has to be more then one beasty..I mean I Choof it away...and it comes back again...it’s like an annoying pesky fly...that doesn’t get the message to Choof off for good....I am beginning to think that depression is now immune to my/our positive 💭 thoughts....

I love cows 🐄 Mrs Dools...they are such a peaceful animal.I like the way they run, kicking their back feet up in the air..I went once to feed the cows across from me, but they run away..So now I just watch them from my veranda...it’s a shame about the electric fence..poor cows 🐄 can’t reach out for fresh grass on the other side of the fence..

Sounds like you have a beautiful day planned tomorrow, Mrs Dools, friends are like golden little spurts of sunshine coming from their heart into yours....I really hope you enjoy your time with them... I’ve never watched a play? I have a lot of respect for anyone that can stand up in front of a lot of people and act or even talk....I’m wishing for you dear lovely lady a beautiful and enjoyable day tomorrow with lots of positive memories that you can remember in hard times..

Please take good care of you Mrs Dools, and be so very gentle and kind to you....your so very important here and r/l...

Sending you some love and hugs 🤗💜..and anyone who wants/needs them

Grandy..

[Doolhof]

Dear Grandy, Deebi and All reading,

Thank you for your kind messages, encouragement and ideas on how to make life better.

I forgot all about going down to the cows today. That is okay, I did manage to do washing, burnt our lunch, did dishes, helped my husband clean some gutters, cussed and cursed a bit and had a snooze in the afternoon then did the ironing.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and hope I can choof those beasties off enough to enjoy the day.

Hey Grandy, those negatives can seem over whelming, we can learn to accept them for what they are. We might not be able to choof them off all the time. Sometimes I believe we have to sit with them, accept them and work out what we can manage to do even with them sitting there along side of us.

I used to love attending the end of year school plays and recitals my nieces were involved in. As there is about 5 years difference in their ages, I attended the primary school evenings for many years.

Our friend has been in many plays so we have seen a few. Some of them are very good. It amazes me how people remember all of their lines!

I remember doing plays at the end of the year at our school. One year I could not remember what I was meant to say, so I just made it up as I went along! Ha. Ha.

Another friend was in one of the plays and did not have a speaking part, just acting. That I might be able to do!

Grandy, I have a friend in Holland who tells me the cows are kept in barns over winter, when the weather is better, the farmers let them out. Maybe you could Google something like "Cows being released after winter" and see what comes up. I watched some clips and they were hilarious!

Thanks again ladies, your friendship and care means a lot to me! Cheers from Dools

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mrs D and hello everyone else

I am unsure whether you like music Mrs D. But I was thinking of you as I listened to this song today. Its called Chain Breaker by Zach Williams. If you are interested just type in Google the name of the song and who sings it.

It almost brought tears to my eyes as it was speaking to me today. It was like I saw depression, sadness, pain, fear and loneliness like a chain that sometimes ties me up. And wondered if you felt the same or something similar.

Anyway I am thinking Satan, the beastie or whatever you want to call it. Well he hates it when we sing songs like this. Songs that draw our attention back to God. I am thinking He is the one that breaks these chains that appear to grip us. Or even He has already broken them and set us all free. It is just we start to believe the lies and feel chained again.

Anyway I think it would help if we sing songs like this. Maybe you already do this.

Thinking of you.

[Doolhof]

Hi Shelley,

hanks so much for sharing this with me. Quite often I forget about music and the healing powers it can have. I guess my husband is so often listening to sport on the T.V. I don't consider having music playing as well. No excuse not to when he is not home.

I did listen to the song you mentioned and also printed out the words, as like you mentioned, they are worthy of remembering. I am going to glue the words into my journal. I might try and draw a picture to go with the song.

I'm quite often telling Satan to get lost and try to focus on all the love, care, guidance and forgiveness God offers, not to mention hope.

Earlier I was Googling Christian expressions of hope. Just expressions of Hope in general are so beneficial.

While at the home for the elderly today I had moments of happiness, sharing time with some of the people there. I may not have a paid job at present, at least I can do something to try to make other people's lives more pleasurable.

Thanks for dropping by Shelley.

Cheers from Mrs. D