DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Dear Mrs Dools...

Im Just popping in to wish you a very beautiful and glorious new day...Its your day sweet lady to do with it what you want to.... Choof your depression away..it left you last night with the sunset...You now have another 24 hours to make some wonderful memories for tomorrow..

The man across the road brought 15 Black Angus cows in around a month ago...Gee I missed them so much...I love sitting outside with my Morning cuppa and just sit their and watch them....There are a couple of younger ones that run around an kick up their back legs...enjoying life..

As soon as I wake up..my dogs greet me like it’s the first time they have ever seen me...When I get up, They bark and go running into the loungroom and come speeding in..haha I think it’s a race, then jump up onto my bed and both of them just sit their staring at me..tails going a wagging so fast they are like fans...

Today I go to work in a charity shop..I’m doing something worthwhile, I’m helping other people...You work in a charity shop and also now in an aged care..Those elderly people look forward to your company when you go their....You talk to them, help them, you give them your care and you give them a part of you, you give them some joy each time your their....You make them feel like they are someone special..That’s extremely very worthwhile, you are very worthwhile...

I am sorry about yesterday..I really am....Rude and inconsiderate people are very hard for us to get over..we automatically think it’s done on purpose but it’s not...Its them not you sweet lady...Try very hard to not bring yesterday into your new day today...yesterday and what happened has gone now... Please lovely precious lady..enjoy today...water those flowers, feed the sheep if they are still there..feed the little birds, hear them..watch the clouds floating across the sky..feel the warm sun on you..sit outside and relax looking and listening to nature....

I really hope you have a nice day today Mrs Dools..

Seniding you much love Mrs Dools and many many caring warm hugs 🤗🤗💜💜..

You are a very special lady who helps a lot of people here, at the nursing home, and charity shop..just a few reasons why you are needed so much in this universe, Mrs Dools..You are very much loved and cared for here..You are very special to so many. So many reasons to “bother” toget well dear Mrs Dools...

Grandy...

[Doolhof]

Dear Grandy,

Thank you so much for reminding me once again to choof off those negative thoughts and to be aware of all the blessings I have in my life.

his morning I did water some of the garden, filled the bird baths again and watched the birds through the kitchen window.

Yesterday I was able to print photos off my phone and printed some doubles so I could send some photos to my parents of a couple of places we had visited together the week before. I wrote them a brief letter to go with the phots.

Today I was assisting in the home for the elderly. In the afternoon I was able to encourage a lady to join the craft group, I did not realise until after that she had never attended before. While she was there, all her cares and worries were forgotten.

I hope to be able to encourage her to join in again next week while I am there. Just like all of us, the dear lady just needed someone to listen, to be creative and have something nice to do for a while.

After that I had a massage booked in and kind of enjoyed it despite all the pain it caused! Hopefully a few knots have been massaged out now.

Came home and intended to lay down for half an hour and actually fell asleep for a couple of hours.

Thanks for the story about the cattle Grandy and the dogs. We have not had the sheep here for many months as everything here is just dirt. Even the weeds have given up growing as it is so dry.

Last night I went to bed and read a bit more of the Christian book I mentioned previously and once again, up popped the words I needed to read about not giving up and accepting mistakes happen and people are just people.

It also mentioned how or expectations are not always met and we have to find ways to accept that and deal with our disappointments! Talk about words hitting me flat in the face!

So tomorrow is a new day! I can try again. If something knocks me down I need to get back up again.

Thanks dear Grandy for listening and for being a great friend and support as so many people are here!

Cheers all from Dools

[demonblaster]

Dear Doolsy and hi everyone ☺

I never tire listening to you, you so often find reasons to be happy and see things in a nice way that makes me feel good listening to you.

How are you doing Doolsy 🤗 I'm sorry I didn't get back till now but know you're one of several here that I care very deeply about and you're in my thoughts.

Loven how when your reading your book it's connecting with you at those times. Fantastic I imagine it'd be quite uplifting.

How lovely you encouraged the lady to do craft, with luck now shes had a taste it'll be addictive. Awesome you're back with the beautiful elderly.

Great you can see your birdies from the kitchen window it is very entertaining watching them bath and flutter in the water they're lovely creatures and most have the most amazing voices. I feel at peace hearing birdies sing there's such a happy upbeat melody. There's a cheerful life energy to their sounds I find and so varied.

How's your physical health going darl.

Oh that's great you got your photos copied. Bet you were pleased about that and maybe learnt something new.

I know the pain you mean with massage I at times do my neck when I have bad headaches, it's like cement but kinda feels like it must be helping or at least I hope so anyway 😄

Ok darl hope you have some nice times today to pop into your memory bank or hat and have plenty of light.

Have a lovely day everyone ☺⚘

[Doolhof]

Hi DB and Everyone Reading,

Thanks for dropping by DB. I've had a few moments the last few days that have not been all that nice, so I have tried to work out what I can do about them.

Various strategies have worked from taking a nap, reading a book, going for a walk, watering the garden, digging up dead plants from the garden, watching the birds and also thinking about those negative thoughts and working out where they came from and how to stop them from growing.

I'd planned to achieve a lot of jobs this weekend, but my body decided it was going to be tired and achy instead so that is oaky. There is always tomorrow to start those jobs early in the morning before I return to the home for the elderly for another day.

I'm going to see if that same lady would like to join in the craft or some activity. I'm not sure if she will actually remember having been to craft last week, that is okay I can ask her again regardless.

My husband had some errands to do in the city today and asked me to join him. At first part of my negative mind told me it would be a waste of time going. I talked back to myself telling my mind not to be so negative and waste the opportunity to go for a drive.

My husband was catching up with friends for an hour so he dropped me at the beach. I enjoyed a lovely walk and watched the waves for a while. I would have missed that, the lunch he bought me and a few chats as well as all the scenery and various things to see.

Our minds can take us on quite a journey at times!

Cheers to you DB, hope you are doing okay. From Doolsy.

[demonblaster]

Hey Doolsy and readers ☺

Good on you it sounds like you're handling your emotions which isn't easy but it gets easier with time and knowing what works for us.

Even if the lady doesnt remember she still had that stimulation and variation in her daily routine which is great. Good on you.

Wow that was a boom going against what your negative mind wanted and it seemed to open up a lot of goods for you.

You love your beach times a good positive memory filler could be remembering what it is you like, the visual, sounds people chats fresh air how it felt. While your minds there it's giving you associated good feelings.

Hope it's all improving for you Doolsy and that you're gettking good sleep too

I so often think and enjoy your upside down parrot 😆 the one I saw was a way away.

Have lovely days hun ☺⚘

[Doolhof]

Hi DB and All,

This morning I managed some washing and a little house work before I had to leave for the volunteer role in the home for the elderly.

The dear lady whom I will call Betty did not seem to recognise me at the home, but was thankfully happy enough to join me when I offered to take her to a group. While she is occupied she doesn't have time to think about all her issues.

That is so very true for us as well isn't it!

I have realised that over the weekend I was become a little stressed and upset because I had no routine to stick to. Generally if I have worked out in my mind how the day might go I deal with it a lot better. I am still open to changes that occur.

Tomorrow I plan to do a bit more housework. We have had several dust storms in our region, the dirt and dust has managed to seep into the house. The windows are brown even though I washed them recently. Goodness knows how much dirt is up on the roof and in the gutters!

I'm also planning to do some kind of craft and work on my happiness journal, recording all the lovely events from the weekend.

This morning I reminded myself I did not need to entertain those negative thoughts and tried to choof them off!

Cheers all from Dools

[demonblaster]

Hey Doolsy 😊 and all 👋

How beautiful for Betty, she bets to do something new and stimulating and has a nice lady visiting her regularly. Gold Doolsy. Yes distractions a powerful tool. Creating is exciting and stimulating too. Good you got her back to it.

Those dust storms sound like a nightmare. Wouldn't be good at all breathing that in I imagine. Saw on the news that rarely I watch just the other day a massive long cloud like dust storm can't remember where and it was like a tsunami. Wow freaky. What a mess to clean after.

Well done being aware of your stress that may sound silly but it sometimes can take a while before we realise we're tense and out of sorts sounds like you were being mindful and working out why you were out is really good. Hope you're feeling brighter today

Sounds good doing some craft and your happiness journal. I'm finding lately I'm accessing happies easier and more often which is good.

Thatta girl keep choofing the negatives off. They can't hurt us while we're focusing on good thoughts and memories.

Look after yourself dear Doolsy ☺🤗🌱 new beginnings

[Doolhof]

Hi DB,

Thanks for checking in. Hope you are doing okay.

Yesterday didn't quite go to plan. For some reason I felt really deflated and exhausted so instead of going to see some craft exhibitions and displays like I had planned I sat on the couch and read a book for hours.

While my husband watched the footy last night I coloured in a couple of pictures for my happiness journal. I hope to glue them in my book this afternoon and might manage to get out to those exhibitions before they close.

Yesterday I also cancelled a bus trip I was supposed to helping to organise. Maybe in a couple of days I can talk to the people involved and try again!

Depression can be so insidious. It can sneak up and start to engulf us before we even realise what is happening.

Okay! So today is another day! I will try again!

I have some emails to respond to then I will head out into the garden. We have a clear blue sky and no breeze, so that means NO DUST! Lovely. Rain would be very good though!

Good on you for finding more Happiness and Good things to think about DB. This morning I awoke with negative thoughts starting to stir so I told them to choof off!

Hope you have a good Day DB and same to all reading.

Cheers from Doolsy

[demonblaster]

Hey Doolsy and all ☺🤗

I think you probs did right by yourself hun not pushing yourself too hard and reading you did for hrs good on you it must have been good. Mum was an avid reader and said if you have a good book you have a best friend a lot of truth in that.

Yes true about depression it's like a heavy wave isn't it. Something for those times that might simplify getting on track for positives is pick 3 things you enjoy and get pleasure out of.

1. Being on the beach
2. Watching birdies in their bath
3. Flowers

These are ideas you might prefer others. So each one if you think about it...

• Flowers. Colours- see the colours. Look at their shape. Feel what you like about them. Look in your mind at different ones esp faves
• Beach. See the sand, gulls waves and hear the waves. Feel the fresh air and enjoy the freedom of space. Soft sand at your feet. Imagine being in the water free of all pain.
• Birdies. Cute. Having their little clean and splash. Refreshing. Their beautiful happy up beat sound. Lively. Feel the lift you have seeing them hun

So the more you reiterate and take your mind to places you enjoy endorphines would be released I'd think cause that's our happies.

Clears our mind and encourages us to open it with lateral thinking opposite to depression that closes it.

Colour is an amazing stimulant in our lives too. Something when you think about things you might like to take your mind to colour for a lift.

I love your connection with Betty and think often of that Doolsy it gives me a lift knowing how you're helping a lady.

Darls you're doing well choofing beasty. Keep in mind hun it's only as strong as we allow it to be. If we don't feed it with following painful thoughts it can't hurt us. We don't have to believe IT's negatives.

I and many people also think you're an incredible person Doolsy and SO much stronger than I think you'd believe of yourself. I love how you tackle this. You have a beautiful positivity streak through you. Survival at it's best.

An absolute pleasure knowing you dear lady 🤗🕊

🌱 happy thoughts happy days ⚘

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Mrs Dools..

Its okay that you didn’t stick to your plans...Awe..you were being very gentle and kind to yourself by not going to see the craft displays......You choofed beasty away for those few hours that you read your book...

Your happiness journal sounds helpful....great distraction when bored or beasty is knocking on your door....keep choofing it off dear mrs Dools ....your doing a really good job...

Its unbelievable how quick we can go down..in a split second sometimes....I’m wondering if anything around your home, yard, or area is triggering these sudden downs?..Just my thoughts...

So happy for your dust free day..I don’t get many days without the breeze blowing up dust from across the road....I hope you get many more dust free days....We certainly need rain badly here...and where you are by the sounds of it....it’s so dry out here..that the grass is turning to dust then disappearing...leaving more dry dusty dirt ...I hope some rain will find your place soon..

Our beautiful Deebi has written some very helpful, beautiful and caring posts..I really cannot add to her words of care...but wanted to drop in and see how you were feeling and say hello....

You do have a lot of inner strength. dear Mrs Dools.. please try hard to believe in you...

Love and hugs Dear Mrs Dools, Deebi, and all reading...💜💜🤗🤗....Oh also I found this in my bag 💼 and thought you might like to light some scented 🌹🕯for when you next read your book 📖... 💐 ..

Grandy..