DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[PamelaR]

Hello Dools and everyone

Ahh, yes, I already have had contact with our friends. All is good. It's all in my head, my mind and my body. But it is slowly dissipating as I talk about it with my hubby and having talked about it with our camping friends.

Wow, I would love to go camping with you too Dools. It would be so nice. We had loads of wallabies coming trying to get food from us, as did the magpies, currawongs, superb fairy wrens, crows. Out rubbish bags were raided overnight. LOL.

Really understand what you mean about friendships. Especially those who you have to put in so much time to get them to do anything, without their input. I find that difficult and generally have let friendships go where people don't make an effort. But that is inherent in my MH issues. Having read some things on the forum lately I realise, I do have c-PTSD and that my psychologist is treating me for that, though has 'not labelled me'.

Have you tried boiling vinegar in blackened pots? It works a treat, with little cleaning effort 🙂

I do really like talking with you too Dools. As I've said previously, I love your humour. I LOL so much.

Cheers

PamelaR

[Doolhof]

Hi PamelaR and All,

Lovely chatting with yo as well.

Thanks for sharing more about your camping trip. Good thing you were able to sort things out with your friends.

Not feeling so chipper at present. Need to go and look for Positivity, Motivation and Humour. They have all done a runner!

Cheers from Dools

[Birdy77]

Oh Dools! (Hi Pammy and all)

Even when you're feeling down, you still bring a smile to our faces, i imagined Positivity, Motivation and Humour as these little characters running away down the street looking over their shoulders while you chase them.

You are a beautiful breath of fresh air wherever you go on these forums!

You're awesome.

Wishing for you to catch up with those little blighters and that you have a better day.

🌻birdy

[Ggrand]

Hello Dools,

I hope you can find your positivity, motivation and humour today and your day is better then yesterday,

After I read about your vegetable it reminded me of a time I was boiling eggs, oh I put the water in but forgot about them, by the time I remembered the water had boiled out and I had two very dried out eggs with two very dark black marks on my saucepan, lol I scrubbed the saucepan on and off for days, it's still got some little black marks on it.

When I drive into town once a week it's hard not to look at the scenery as the road to town is done on top of hills/mountains, and looking to the side there are valise, hills, trees, if I'm lucky I will also see a kangaroo grazing, although a kangaroo did decide he wanted to try and cross the road right in front of me, then stop right in the middle of the road to have a good look at me..They are big creatures when standing in front of my small car..

Thank you Dools for such interesting posts, I really do hope your feeling a bit better.

Kind thoughts,

Karen.

[Doolhof]

Hi Birdy, PamelaR, Karen and All reading,

Today I was in the Op Shop. The ladies there are wonderful. We all had a whinge early, I think I started it actually as I recalled my disappointing appointment at the Dr. yesterday trying to organise a form for an x-ray or CT scan of my neck. The Dr. just was not going to help me.

Anyway, we all had a grump, listening to each others woes then later on we all had a good laugh so that helped us feel better.

During the day I felt like crying most of the time, so kept myself busy.

Now I am waiting for my employment lady to call me, I was expecting her call an hour ago! I am sure I would not get away with being an hour late if I had an appointment to see or call her.

Tomorrow I am seeing the physio, so I will ask if she may be able to encourage a Dr to fill in a form for a CT scan or an x-ray of my neck.

The Dr kept asking me why I wanted my neck x-rayed. I was going to tell her it was because I had a sore big toe, or I didn't have anything to do next week so thought that it might be a nice outing having an x-ray done, or that I fancied the radiographer at the hospital, or I wanted to start glowing in the dark after having yet another x-ray done!

In the end she just frustrated me so much I walked out.

I will try a different Dr next time. My usual Dr is not available for over 5 weeks at present.

Maybe I need to come up with a better story other than the fact I am in a lot of pain!

Maybe if I just keep sitting there I will get what I want eventually! I might take in a thermos of coffee and a chocolate donut in case it takes a long time! Ha. Ha. A picnic in the Drs office. Now that would be something different! Not sure about the transfer of germs...

Humour has shown up briefly!

Cheers all from Dools

[PamelaR]

Dools, you are remarkable.

You've turned a very serious matter into something that I laughed out loud about.

That doesn't help you at all. I'd be huffy. Did the doctor give you a reason why she would n't give you a referral? I'm with you I certainly wouldn't be seeing her again.

Hey any men out there, you don't have to read any further.

Doctors hey. You know, about 20 years ago, a young female doctor was trying to talk me into having a hysterectomy because of specific issues. After leaving the surgery, I did some research about my specifics and the proposed solution. Everything I read said - leave it because they'll shrivel and disappear after menopause. Well, went back to the doc and told her no go. She said suit yourself - if you want to put up with that every month that's your look out. Anyway, the following year I started menopause. Gees, am I glad I took my own advice.

So, back to you Dools. Can you go to your local hospital emergency department, they might do an xray, CT scan on the spot?

Kind regards

Pammy

[Ggrand]

Hello Dools,

You are an amazing woman, your struggling with your own issues yet your posts, you reaching out for support has turned your words around and has given some humour, and laughter to those needing help. That's gold Dools..

I laughed as well, thank you for making me laugh today, I just read and re read your X-ray post, you are not only funny but you are also so witty, imaginative I love reading your posts..They are so uplifting. Your a legend Dools,

Picnic in the Drs office how good would that be for passing the time quicker, or maybe add a checkers game in there as well..Inhad an appointment at 3pm one time..I can't sit in the waiting room if people are there so I will wait outside in my car,, the receptionist comes get me..this day it was a 3.pm appointment and at 4.15pm I'm still waiting. So I told the receptionist to tell the Drs I'm leaving, and I did...Now my dr makes me first in the morning or first after lunch, bingo, no more waiting..

I heard you felt like crying today, it makes it hard day feeling like that, we need distraction and the shop work is great for distraction...let it out Dools crying I think release stress..

i hope that your ⚡️ zapped tomorrow by some light, please Dools Be gentle to yourself..

Karen.

[demonblaster]

Ahh Dools you're having a hard time 🤗 here take this freeby but don't tell the others ok

Neck and back are bad places because theres so much use on them both and you've troubles with both.

Sad hearing you wanted to cry all day.

You are one funny lady agree with Grandy wit as well. I was lol at the reasons you wanted an Xray. You seriously rock Doolsy

I really hope todays better for you M/physically you so deserve

🤗 remember Mums the word with the hugs

🌲 thats Weetbix Willow tree

Oh nearly forgot I picked this from my garden for you ⚘

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

Thanks for your lovely messages, Pamela, Deebi and Karen. Much appreciated. My mind has been playing funny little tricks on me today! Quite up and down with emotions and feelings. Good thing I still know which way is up!

I went tot he physio this afternoon and told her about my neck, so she worked on my lower back and stuck needles in very tight muscles. She ran out of time to check out my neck. I did ask about an x-ray or CT scan and she was a bit reluctant to suggest one unless I was planning to ask for a steroid injection to alleviate the pain.

I attend a pain clinic in May so guess they may have some different options for dealing with all these aches and pains.

Must say those acupuncture needles were certainly effective in locating painful regions I didn't know existed. I almost bounced off the bed I was in that much pain!

I bought some wool today so I can finish the border on my crochet blanket while my husband is watching the AFL tonight! Footy in March! It used to be a winter sport in my day when Mrs. Noah was a girl!

Cheers all from Dools

[PamelaR]

Hello Dools

Acupuncture can be really good, especially for tight muscles. It's also good for a range of things. Used to have it regularly, not for pain, but have been unable to find someone here.

Hope you find some relief from your pain Dools.

Watch the Footy!! Can't say I'll be joining you though. I'm a tennis and basketball fan.

Cheers to you Dools.

PamelaR