Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

Thanks for that explanation, I'm simply not sure how to start on forgiveness. I can write down the hurt and effects on me committed by some others and also my former employer, and even see why some have acted as they have (basically they are weasels) , but anger, disgust at their base motives and a host of other unhelpful emotions are all present, and forgiveness is not even on the table - sigh.

I'm also not sure correspondence would be practical, though it does remind me of part of a previous post I made a fair while ago elsewhere

I tend to have a fast mouth (not always a real good thing) but once
it did come up trumps. I was in a psych ward and by coincidence a
fellow member was there too. Due to the generosity of the
Powers-That-Be there was a small smokers’ room with no seats and no
ventilation other than a window that was jammed open just wide enough to
get a fingertip through.

We used to stand in it, smoke and talk. My companion was in the habit
of raging against our hierarchy whom he (probably quite rightly) thought
were responsible of us ending up mentally injured and in the ward.
He’d repeat these tirades for ages, time after time threatening the most
horrible (quite impractical & illegal) things that should be done
to them. One day I, getting sick of it, blurted out “Can’t you just
send them a stern letter?”

Amazingly he broke out into gales of laughter, kept on thinking of it
throughout the rest of the day, and to my relief talked about other
things for the remainder of my stay.

Now on your moving, I had not realized what the real reason was. I've had times when I've wanted to move as there is a Dept of Housing house nearby, however I never have and eventually the problem has moved on.

I am very impressed with all the sensible actions you have taken to sort out the doggy problem - great ingenuity and thought. Then again I should not be surprised, it's you to a tee.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Hi Dools,I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you although I have no useful advice. I hate moving & find it extremely stressful not the sort of thing to do when you are already fragile. Look after yourself as much as you can in the circumstances.

[Doolhof]

Hi again Croix and all,

Regarding the dog owners, they did not take me up on my offers to walk or play with their dog, I am allowed to go on their property and pat it though. The poor thing is so desiring company!

Today we looked at two houses, both are too close to other houses.

Regarding the letters, the psychologist did say it may not be wise to send the letters on to the person I was thinking about.

Finding a sense of forgiveness and acceptance is not going to be easy.

Today I took a knock out pill as my mind was just a bit too crazy for me to control. The rest has done my body aches and pains some good so it has been beneficial.

Hey Croix, imagine if we did write exactly what we thought of other people and all sent the letters to the offending persons. Might cause some kind of commotion me thinks! Ha. Ha.

Croix, have you tried writing down how you are feeling in the past? Would it help to write down all you have inside of you, skip the steps about acceptance and forgiveness and think about where you want to go from here with your memories and the way forward.

Selected memory loss would be wonderful. A bit like deleting photos you no longer want. Zap, that memory is gone. Zap, there goes another one.

Only problem with that idea, you might encounter that rotten person again, have no idea they are a pain in the butt and then have to deal with them all over again!

Ah. Perhaps a warning light would be appropriate. Enough from me, my brain is cooked. Ha. Ha.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks, appreciate that. It was only a couple of months ago I spoke to my dear husband with selective hearing, and told him there is no way I can cope with the thought of another move right now due to my mind and my body.

Guess he thinks I am all better now. I know he is having huge issues and I wish he was able to find ways to deal with them and not feel so horrid himself.

He has agreed to have a look in the shed tomorrow...looking might be all he does though. Ha. Ha. Someone mentioned a mini skip, a few hand grenades would be a whole lot quicker. Then a bulldozer.

[velvetfaerie]

I'm cranky.The welfare of 3 life forms are being affected because of a grrrrr neighbour.

Mr and Mrs D and the dog deserve better.

Heartless people make me extremely angry.

No filter.

velvz.

[Guest_3712]

Hi mrs D

Just read your comments on other post re finding your workcover files.

I too went through the system - insurers, solicitors, and finally courts. Very hard times and I have to pack all that up when we sell up .

Cant throw cos have to keep for 7 years- so dreading that . Recent experience with some diaries I kept while in hospital de- railed me a bit so need to put things in perspective.

What I try to think now is , thank goodness that is in the past. I'm not like that now, or going through that now.

Hope it works for you to. Digging up the past even if it is to move on is very traumatic. We can hold hands over this .

Dont worry you didn't trigger me I'm been thinking about it myself

Take care

Stressless

[blondguy]

Good morning Mrs Dools 🙂

I like what you said about hubby's shed....the hand grenades and the bull dozer....You gave me a good laugh there!

I understand about how unhelpful (or intrusive) thoughts can be a fly in the ointment. My daughter has been in a bad place recently and sometimes all the self coping mechanisms seem powerless when in times of severe mental stress/exhaustion. (which is why I havent been on the air a great deal recently)

I guess sometimes there are some things in life that we have no control over and let these periods of mental anguish 'go to the keeper'...so to speak. Boy its easily said though....Im stubborn so I will persevere to have some peace in my day...everyday

Great thread Mrs Dools

My kind thoughts for you

Paulx

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Velve, funny thing is I would enjoy helping to look after the neighbours dog. I have wanted one of my own, but my husband detests them. I could walk their dog and play with her and she may be happier than and not bark so much out of neglect and loneliness.

Stressless, if there are important reports in your Work Cover stuff you may need, put them at the top of the boxes you pack so you don't have to go through everything. Pack it up in boxes, label the boxes with a skull and cross bones, swear words or what ever. They will be easy to find if you need them. Ha. Ha.

I found some diaries I thought I had ditched last time. Not sure if I will read them or ditch them.

Paul, we had planned to make a start on the shed yesterday. It was raining so hubby decided to watch the footy instead! Funny thing, it was NOT RAINING IN THE SHED! I managed okay out there. At least I will get my stuff sorted in plenty of time.

Your words Paul:

"I guess sometimes there are some things in life that we have no control over and let these periods of mental anguish 'go to the keeper'...so to speak. Boy its easily said though....I'm stubborn so I will persevere to have some peace in my day...everyday"

That is something I am striving for.

Still looking for those hand grenades! I will need to get my few things out of the shed first though. Ha. Ha.

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

Shame about the lack of grenades...

How about a giant winter shed shaped bonfire?

Plenty of flammables in a shed 😊.

Hope you find a new home you love!

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Feel like I have been to hell and back this last week. Good to know that I have learnt enough to still be around this week.

I was to see my Dr this morning, but my car was broken down and I have no way of getting tot he appointment so had to cancel. The next possible appointment is end of this month! My Dr is very busy!

Not sure when my car will be back on the road again, might have to buy a horse! Will take a little longer to get from here to there, but at least I won't have to walk. There is no public transport any where near us. I can use my husband's car when he is home, only he doesn't like the thought of being stuck here without transport.

Anyway, I am still here. Guess that is a good thing. Would be nice to have a bit of a break from this insidious illness.

Hey Quercus we worked on the shed for a while on the weekend. As we were sorting, I asked my husband what this bit of "thing" was or "that" item. Usually he had no idea what it was, but we had to keep it in case it came in handy!

In the end we just shuffled stuff from here to there making very little difference in the quantity of stuff in the shed. I guess I should be thankful we made a start!

My brain feels a little like that shed, I am trying to deal with stuff, but find it very hard to kick out the negatives that are holding me back. Shame we can't just flush out our brains and start again!

Cheers all from Mrs. D.