Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D - again,

I'm not stalking you really- in fact I was just going to have a quick browse before shopping but couldn't before I replied to you - ok a couple of times. Sorry you are just going to have to accept you are my hero today . I am sorry your psych is such a dick that she couldn't see or feel your pain and the need to discuss- give me a break !

Glad you at least have a sympathetic GP and of course everyone here. I have also tried Acceptance therapy and yes it is hard but had some good results , and if it helps I say go for it.

Repeat after me : " I am a worthwhile, amazing, thoughtful, caring, wise, special lady and I am going to own it "

Have a great day Mrs D - I know I will now I have your story locked in my heart

Stressless

[Elizabeth CP]

I am pleased your GP provided the understanding you needed. I won't comment on the psych His reaction was so inappropriate. Your interaction with the GP reminded me of a situation with a GP in 2009 when I requested time off for stress leave. I was forced to explain my history. The first time I had ever told anyone because it was too upsetting. He related a personal experience he'd had which related as well as his reaction. For the first time in my life I felt someone understood & I felt my reaction was 'normal rather than something to be ashamed of and hidden. Ít didn't stop my fear & anxiety re the bushfires but it meant it wasn't made worse by feeling like an idiot & trying to pretend everything was fine.

I am really glad you are finding a way to accept your grief re the loss of your children.

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

You can stalk me as much as you like! Thanks for your kind words. I have actually written down that words you wrote for me after "repeat after me". If I write them down, and re4ad them each day, they will sink in!

Unfortunately the psych lady didn't seem to understand my grief or pain at all. At least she tell me to just get over or that not having kids is a blessing like others have. I see this new psych, a male on Friday.

Think I will write down some dot [points of stuff I want him to try to help me with. That would help.

It will take him the hour to read all the info my Dr has given him! Ha. Ha.

My Dr is amazing. He visited me twice each day I was in hospital, even on his days off. One of the nurses even thought he was my husband! I wish! Ha. Ha.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Seems like I am going to be challenging my thoughts and emotions over the next few weeks, months or how ever long it takes., as it has been decided that we are moving house...again.

The continuously barking dog next door and its absent owners have crushed my husband's spirit. He has not been outside for a couple of years now without his ear muffs on. When he does come inside he is really angry and frustrated. His encounters outside are rare.

It is no way to live.

So now we are planning to sell and move again. Not sure where or when.

I do know I have to find all the resources I can. My mental health state is fragile already. This move will hopefully make me stronger and not crush me.

Time will tell.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D,

Yes moving is hard, but your home should be your sanctuary, your quiet place to relax and if that's not the case - I presume you have tried talking to neighbours re barking dog ?

Any way a move can always be the start of a fresh start, declutter of house and mind- hang in there

Stressless

[aegidius]

Barking dogs will get to you... the first house I ever bought, had a neighbour with a concrete yard with an unhappy dog in it. I didn't keep the place all that long....

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

I'm glad your GP is a gem, makes up a bit for that unfeeling nit you had as a psych. Hopefully the new one you say today was an improvement.

How do you feel about moving? I've been in the one place for a zillion years and have so much junk I'd need a road-train. Do you think you would move far?

Dogs barking are a funny thing to deal with, some people are sort of hard-wired to be stressed when they bark all the time, closest thing I can think of is a baby crying, much worse of course, but similarly we get stressed and want to sooth the baby and stop its unhappiness.

I think a previous psych tried acceptance theory, though I did not know what it was called. I think I might read a bit about it, thanks for the advice.

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

Oh yes, we tried talking to the neighbours. I offered to take their dog for daily walks, have her play in our garden while I was gardening in the area next to their home and so on.

The poor dog is lonely and bored and in a small area for a kelpie! I was given permission to enter onto their land to talk to the dog who is enclosed close to their house. The dog has no idea what balls and sticks are for.

My physical and emotional health is not so good right now and my husband is not an understanding nor helpful man.

Once the move is done and we are settled, hopefully somewhere with out a dog in sight, or in hearing distance he might be happy and his anxiety and depression levels will drop.

Don't get me wrong, I like dogs and would love to actually have one, only thing is their barking drives my husband nuts!

Time will tell what happens. Right now it is time for a clean out!

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[Doolhof]

Hi Aegidius,

This will be our third move due to barking dogs. Our next house will have to be in the middle of no where, on a deserted island, in Coober Pedy underground, sound proofed or in a bunker!

Right now my husband does not go outside without ear muffs that actually have a radio playing into the ear pieces!

It is no way for either of us to live.

Cheers.

[Doolhof]

Dear Croix,

Hi. Yes I am very thankful I have such a wonderful GP. The new psychologist I saw yesterday seems to be made out of a similar mould as my Dr as he was lovely too and very understanding. After just one appointment with the new psych I have a better understanding about myself and my grief issues.

I showed him the "formula" the other psych gave me, and he said he would have enough trouble himself trying to understand it.

This new guy has given me some homework, it is about writing forgiveness letters to people whom I feel have done me wrong and hurt me.

1) Write down everything that has bothered me

2) What they did and how it affected me

3) Then choose to FORGIVE the hurts that had been done

4) Find ways to let it all go (in comes Acceptance Therapy or something else)

5) Then write down how I want to move forward in my life

He did suggest it might not be a good idea to actually post the letters off.

He also said he could go through this with me next time if I thought it would be beneficial.

Step 3 on forgiveness was covered recently by a few here on a different thread. It is always an interesting concept.

Step 4 may bring up some interesting responses if I am brutally honest with myself before I reach the acceptance bit.

Step 5 is certainly very beneficial.

I'm going to work on this a bit later on today.

As regards to moving, I have absolutely no idea nor does my anxious, depressed, stressed out husband. He just wants to go...now! He would leave today if he had somewhere to go.

Cheers for now from a slightly muddled and overwhelmed Mrs. D.