Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Doolhof]

Hi Croix,

A big part of my depression is due to unresolved grief around the death of our babies. I don't always cope well when pets die on me.

This hen was the last of the four. Before that we had canaries. The Mum attacked and killed some of her babies. That made me very sad. My husband decided the canaries were too noisy and messy so they were given to a friend of his.

Right now I am over pets.

I suppose I could go down and teach the mice some tricks!

[Croix]

Yes, pets form such a large part of our lives and hearts.

My wife and I may seem a little cynical but we try to have two, so if one passes on we still have the other -not a perfect solution, but the best we have come up with. We are not unfeeling, love them all dearly (even chooks with pretensions). Just helps us get over things quicker.

Always had lots of pets, currently three: Zeppelin dog, Sumo cat & Nasty cat. On the other hand they think they have two pets, all a matter of perspective I guess.

C

[gld]

Yes pets do become a big part of your family. Lost my two four legged family members last year and was thinking how much i miss them today. One good thing is that even they are no longer with us they still give us joy through our memories.

Chook poo good food for plants when it is not fresh. Just thinking you could grow a passionfruit on fence of chook pen and grow some herbs as well as putting a potting bench in there. That way if you change your mind on getting chooks in the future you still have the pen.

Doolhof you are inspiring me to do something creative, not too sure what i am going to do but i have two days to think about it before my weekend.

Hugs, look after yourself.

Gen

Ps get rid of the mice [not a fan as we have snakes here]

[blondguy]

Hey Mrs Dools

Im sorry about your hen. As you know I had my Border Collie put to sleep in December 2015 and it feels/hurts like yesterday. Whether it be a hen, a mouse or a bird.....the loss can hit us hard...

I hear you loud and clear on being over pets Mrs Dools. My depression makes me think the same way.

21 years on the same AD now. But its kept me working well and having a good quality of life.

I just saw Gen's post.....ewww snakes.....Ive had 4 Tiger snakes in my front yard over 20 years here in southern vic and they scare the 'carp' out of me.......ewwww

Hugs

Paulxo

[Doolhof]

Hi Croix, Gen, Paul and anyone else reading,

Thanks for your encouragement. The hen house is due a good clean out. I had already thought the larger high fenced enclosure would be ideal for a vegie garden, keep the rabbits out!

I have also been thinking of planting some chook proof plants in another run for extra shade for them in case I do decide to get more chooks further down the track.

The mice will have to migrate to next door's chooks. I could leave them a trail of food so they can find there way there.

We have encountered a few snakes here. Three in the first month we arrived and a few since. I actually trod on one in the garden in the long grass. Looked down to see what it was, jumped to one side and the snake happened to go in the same direction so I landed on the darn thing again. It was then that I decided I had better run in a different direction just in case it became angry at me!

We have brown and tiger snakes here.

The hen house and runs are going to get a good clean up today and the mice are in for a shock. I will leave them some food to tide them over...leading towards the neighbour's chooks! Ha. Ha.

Cheers all. From Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Gen,

I hope you manage to find a project for the weekend. I like going to the library or looking online for inspiration.

Presently I am working one day a week in an Op Shop. Yesterday the beginnings of a cylindrical shaded basket weaving project came in. I am going to see if I can clean that up and finish it off. If so, it will go over into my shanti and I will use it to hold my water bottle while I am in the garden.

It is supposed to be cooler on the weekend here so I might sit out side and work on those grass sewn place mats I am trying to make. They are too messy to bring inside. My husband would have a fit! Ha. Ha.

Cheers Gen, all the best with your project!

From Dools

[Guest_1055]

Hi Mrs D

I am sorry for your loss of your hen. But more so for the loss of your precious babies. And of course you would feel grief. Perhaps grief over lost dreams as well.. I don't know what else to say about that except I am sorry.

And in regards to your hen house.... I am unsure how tall the one you have is. But a relative of mine turned their chook house into a potting shed. It actually looks pretty good and is very functional. She has a bench in there to place the plant pots etc on. She also sells the plants she has potted up or grown from propagation.

And I believe all your little babies are safe and loved very much.

Hug bigtime

shell

[Doolhof]

Dear Shell,

Thanks so much for the very kind words regarding our babies. Having Christian beliefs, I know they are in heaven having a wonderful time, it is just me there Mum here on e4arth missing them like crazy!

A dear friend of mine died at 40 due to cancer. Soon after she died, I had a wonderful dream of her being in heaven with our children, telling me not to be sad because they loved me just as much as I love them and they were okay. It was a beautiful dream.

The chook house probably was a garden shed. It is about 2.5 metres by 2 metres. The problem is it is so dark inside even with the doors open. I could see if someone might help me make a window on the North facing side, that would help.

It has had a good clean out anyway. The poor mice must be wondering what on earth has happened. Wonder if they like the smell of bleach!

The wild birds are going to have a feast with the chook food. I will give the laying pellets to a friend. Don't know how that would effect the native birds! Maybe they might lay chook sized eggs! Ha. Ha.

Hope you have a great weekend Shell. Here in S.A. Monday is a holiday , not sure what it is for.

Cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

A little something I read recently:

Some of us find that feeling alone is one of the unhappiest experiences in life. Driven by unfulfilled longings, we make rash decisions that end up hurting us. Its impossible to make a good decision when you're motivated by the fear of being alone or rejected.

[aegidius]

Doolhof said:...Its impossible to make a good decision when you're motivated by the fear of being alone or rejected.

Good plan. Only trouble is, we all make important relationship decisions with exactly that motivation!