Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[quirkywords]

Rhes,

What an inspiring and thankful post that should give hope to people.

Sometimes we don not give positive feedback when things go well.

I appreciate the time you have taken to let us know how you are. I am so glad this thread was here for you when you needed it.

Not drinking in a society that promotes drinks at all occasions must make it hard and I know people who simply don't go anywhere there will be alcohol.

I am sure your post will give strength to others.

Quirky

[geoff]

Hello Rhes, thanks for joining this thread and I do remember your name.

When someone gives up drinking alcohol whether it's for personal or health reasons, then part of the rehabilitation is to be able to be with other people who are drinking or whether they can walk past a bottle shop without any problems because it's legal and it's going to be around under any circumstances.

We can't hide away from it and once you are able to cope with this then you deserve the accolades you have earned.

It's always going to be a topic which is going to be discussed.

Many thanks,

Geoff.

[Rhes]

Thanks Geoff and Quirky for your replies and supportive words as always 🙂

[SisterKiKi]

Hi All....I'm new here. Can I just ask do I press the REPLY after the last post?

I have had a problem with alcohol for 6 years since I was 48. I grew up with an alcoholic, violent father, drank occasionally over the years but it didn't become a problem until after I had a gastric sleeve operation at that age. I am quite a sensitive person and a worrier, tended to put all my love into my kids who are now young adults. Since they became adults around that time I have been going through severe empty next syndrome, thus one of the reasons I turned to alcohol. I have hurt my husband and my children and feel deep shame. I also, normally a nice person, become aggressive and verbally abusive when I drink. I turn into a blackout drunk monster. I went to a rehab last year for 7 weeks and noticed a common thread between everyone there. All very nice people who can't seem to forgive 'themselves' easily.

I'd love to hear from you all 🙂

[geoff]

Hi SisterKiKi, thanks so much for posting your comment.

Bariatric surgery shrinks the size of your stomach, ( gastric sleeve operation) which means you will feel the effects of the alcohol faster than what you are used to, and it won't take nearly as much alcohol before you come intoxicated.

If you combine this with ' severe empty nest syndrome', your children who have grown up and left home, your personality may change, as you say 'become aggressive and verbally abusive', is a reason why your family might want to stay away from you if they know alcohol is involved.

I'm sure this isn't what you want, the trouble is that if alcohol is an addiction, then something needs to be done.

I've owned/managed pubs and know who the people are that suddenly change once they become intoxicated and they aren't a happy person, they change when consuming alcohol.

I don't want to make this reply too long but very happy to keep in contact with you.

Geoff.

[SisterKiKi]

Thanks so much Geoff....

I personally thing it has been a collection of things that have led me here and the aggression is a sort of repressed anger from a childhood of a an alcoholic, abusive father & an arrogant mother. She had a really hard time but she also was not a nurturing mother emotionally. She become nicer to talk to in the last 5 yrs in her elderly years & is now declining 😞 I was also 5th on 5 years born into a strict catholic family. Nuns. Some nice, others were not.

I know all this doesn't matter now, but I just need to undo what I've done, somehow. I'm now Day 2 sober and hoping with my family's help and the help of this group I can get through this.

Many thanks,

K x

[Moonstruck]

Hey Rhes.....I remember you. You have done so well, I am so proud and happy for you.....just wanted to say Hi and it was good to see you on Forum again.

Hoping things continue well for you...(no one ever congratulates us do they? so we have to congratulate ourselves for not drinking)......be happy....x

[geoff]

Hi K, congratulations on being day 2, and I've taken Moonstruck's advice and also believe that we aren't complimented enough because a pat on the back goes a long way.

K, do you have a plan on how to stop your drinking, any new techniques.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Violet10]

I’m so happy to find this thread. I’ve been a binge pattern drinker since I was 15 and I’m now 39. I can go many weeks or months between binges. When I binge I blackout and do very shameful things like drunk dialing/texting/messaging. The shame keeps me from drinking again for a really long time and as the shameful memories subside inevitably the pattern repeats.

I am writing this post on the morning after a binge. Last night I drank alone, something I usually avoid. I went through a relationship break up a couple of weeks ago and I was feeling sad and frustrated with myself so I drowned my sorrows. I did my usual shameful behaviour and I feel so small and awful this morning. Life is so good but this feeling of deep shame and regret is the worst. Why do I do this to myself? This behaviour has to stop.

Reading the stories posted here is helpful and I feel much less alone knowing that others are struggling and overcoming too. Thank you all for sharing.

V

[geoff]

Hello Violet, thanks for coming to the forums and pleased you have been brave to tell us of what happened and it's something that may often be the case when you are addicted to alcohol.

I'm not qualified to say that but from experience, I've seen it many times.

The breakup with your relationship can certainly play an enormous part in this, but binge drinking can lead to the same, consequences as, daily drinking and as everyone is different, some people show their reactions by drunk dialing/texting/messaging whereas others are only quiet, keep to themselves and happy.

I just wanted to respond back to you so that this discussion can continue as I'm sorry I will be back.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.