Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[Kazzl]

Yes, leaving the cash and cards behind is an excellent idea - remove the means for giving in. Love it! Thanks Bob.

[Roberty_Bob]

I went to my recovery group tonight. Although nothing has been troubling me recently I've found it helpful to maintain contact with my support at all times.

[Moonstruck]

I am glad I found this additional thread for posting solely about "battling booze". If I can be of any help I will try my best....or see any questions I may be able to give my viewpoint about - I'll have a go too.

I guess all our stories are unique...very different...the reasons we drank/drink, reasons we gave/want to give up...etc.

In a nutshell, what convinced me I had to stop was a second near-death situation involving the damage the grog had done to my liver over the years....it was so horrible, the memory of it was so vivid, (I will spare you the gory details)...that I NEVER want to go thru that again....so mine was mainly medical reasons...otherwise I may well have still been using the stuff to anaethestise emotional pain and traumatic memories.

I didn't go through withdrawal this last time (too ill to even care)...and it was "cold turkey". I had been on only Light Beers for the past couple of years before this medical emergency...but even that was enough to damage me further....my body just couldn't absorb any more alcohol at all......why me?

Others drink much more than I did..and their livers are still functioning....them's the breaks! Anyhow just past 3 years without it now...my skin is clearer, I've lost weight, I've saved the cost of buying grog and can drive anywhere, any time and thumb my nose at the RBT cops!

Gotta look on the bright side folks!!! - .....sorry if this has been a bit "flippant"...I know it's a serious topic...and look forward to being of some help.....if I can...in the meantime....hang in there...if I can do it...anyone can!

[seeking_help]

Hi Kaz,

Thanks very much for directing me here after your wise words in the 'Depression and 'part time' alcoholism thread'.

As previously mentioned, I gave up social drinking a number of years ago but continue to binge drink whenever I am travelling away from home (i.e. when I cant get caught). It's finally caught up with myself and I really came here to seek help/advice about my addiction.

I am sick of waking up in hotel rooms with a fort of bottles around me. I function absolutely magnificently when at home with my wife and new born child. Why do I regularly give in to the dark side for the few days per month that I travel/am away from home? It is an escape but is totally not worth it in hindsight yet I cannot reason with myself?

Nick

[geoff]

hi Seeking_help, can I ask you a question and only answer if you want to, but did you start drinking socially after your wife has told you to stop drinking every night and wiping yourself out, and if this is correct then 'while the cat's away the mouse will play', in other words you will take advantage of being away and then being able to drink as much as you want.

No one knows what you are doing except for when you have to pay the bill, and I'm not sure that you have got your 'social drinking' under control, so you drink as much as you can while you are away and at any time you meet with friends.

If someone says that they want to stop smoking, it would be pretty impossible for them to smoke socially, especially if they have smoked 30 cigarettes a day, so it's very hard for anybody to drink socially after drinking everyday and if you play up by drinking everything in sight while away then it's a decision you have to make, keep drinking or stop it entirely and give up, but that's a big call. Geoff.

[seeking_help]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for your message. I actually stopped social drinking a number of years ago due to my inability to moderate intake i.e. I was drinking to excess at any opportunity and it was affecting my relationship with my wife etc. As far as my family and friends are concerned, I am sober and have been for a number of years.

However, when I am away from home and know I cant get caught, I drink. You hit the nail on the head with your 'cats away, mice will play' comment. I know it is doing me damage and I believe I am strong enough to control myself and stay sober but then my next trip comes along and I end up drinking again. It's a bad cycle as I actually really do want to stay sober, I just get an overwhelming urge to get drunk when I put myself in that situation.

[Moonstruck]

Hi there Seeking.....I've no direct experience with binge drinking (mine was the other kind) so won't pretend to have expert advice, however over the years have found the 24 hrs Alcohol &Drug Information Service phone counselling to be excellent, understanding and very helpful (as are the BB phone counsellors)..

It's a 1800 number in the front of the phone book with all the other "emergency numbers"....(not sure if I am allowed to give out phone numbers here).....they are not AA people, they are trained professionals.....just a thought for someone to talk to when you're in that hotel room - they don't judge you or preach..they're great!

.....yes, I would say you have done the right thing in reaching out for help now, before things escalate for you......very best of luck...

[Kazzl]

I Nick - so good to see you here mate! There's a few tips on this thread, back a few posts, about urge surfing and, my favourite, the 10 minute rule, to help you get through the urges when you're away.

I'd also suggest that when you are away, you fill your days and nights with activity so you're not just alone in your hotel room. Go to a movie or something at night - anywhere that doesn't serve alcohol. Go for long walks without money or credit cards. I even phoned ahead to a hotel I was booked into and asked them to empty the mini bar before I got there (if you feel you need to give a reason say it's for religious reasons haha, they won't ask anything else ...) eat at Maccas if you have to or somewhere else that's not licensed.

Get yourself good and tired by the end of the day, and when you get to your (alcohol free) room, get into your PJs and straight into bed. If you are going to tell your wife about your problem, make sure you call her every night you're away to let her know you're sober.

You can do this Nick. And I tell you mate, no matter how much we might enjoy our 'nights off' from sobriety at the time, there is nothing better than waking up with a clear head, no guilt, no pain, no fear of being caught out ... proud of ourselves instead of ashamed. You can do it.

Kaz

[Kazzl]

Another thought Nick - if you want to let us know beforehand next time you're travelling, we can be on this thread ready to talk at night while you're in your room. I'd be happy to do that.

Kaz

[Bayleaf]

Hi Nick. Well done to you for facing up to a very harsh reality.

I was moved to jump in on Kazz's Post suggesting that some might be here for you in those difficult times when you find yourself alone and in the way of temptation. I have battled the booze for many years and been sober for something over five now. In the process of getting sober, I was part of a forum and we had friends in our pockets/handbags/manbags/cabin luggage: As a group we would make a special effort to look out for each other and when one was going into a danger zone the rest would be there with them (through the mobile phone) in their pocket etc. This was a lighthearted, chatty but very effective tool in the face of loneliness or the solo-permissive mindset.

This is a hard road Nick but you really are doing what you know to be best for you and you need never be alone on that road. Go well!