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Battling the booze
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When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do.
That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.
On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.
One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.
I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.
Cheers 😀
Kaz
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Thankyou Geoff, I appreciate the fact that you took the time to respond to me today.
I feel privileged that you did so.
Sherie xx
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Very useful thread Kazzl. Self medication of depression using alcohol was a big problem for me. I am now 12 months sober and have never felt better. My escape from booze is told here:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/one-year-sober-today
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Hiya Bob - well done mate and thanks for posting this. Yeah, complacency is our worst enemy once we're sober. It's easy to think we've got it under control now so just one won't hurt. Some people (although very few in my experience) can do that but most of us can't. One's too many and 10's not enough. 😊 That will always be the case for me. The further you get along the sober the road the easier it becomes to accept that.
The company of fellow sober travellers is gold I reckon. I'm really glad you found the group helpful. Feel free to post more about it if you're inclined - we can help others so much by sharing our experiences.
Onya Bob!
Kaz
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Hi all - just 'bumping' this thread up because we've had a few members lately who might find it helpful.
A big hello and welcome to anyone who wants to discuss problems with alcohol and depression or anxiety. In particular, a welcome to our new member Brian who I was just talking to on another thread! If you want to keep talking Brian, or anyone else, I'll be hanging around here, along with others who know and understand.
Cheers!
Kaz
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Hi everyone - we've had a couple of members ask about strategies for getting sober, so I thought I put up some posts that might help. One member asked about whether it was best to go 'cold turkey' and just stop, or whether cutting down was the better option. That is a very important first question to consider. Below is my response on that person's thread, reposted here to help anyone wondering the same:
How you stop largely depends on how much you are drinking - and if you can it's worth discussing this with a doctor, or an alcohol service counsellor.
As a rule of thumb, if you are drinking constantly, for example during the day, keeping yourself 'topped up' so to speak, or if you are drinking very large amounts at night every night, and have been for a long time, going cold turkey can be dangerous because withdrawal can make us very ill with shakes, rapid heartbeat, high anxiety, dissociation, even hallucinations. It can even be fatal.
If you feel your level of drinking is very high, a medically supervised detox is the best option, This involves cutting down gradually, drinking specified amounts at specified times, and switching from say spirits to beer, under the supervision of a doctor.
Another option, again with the support of your doctor, is to use a drug that reduces the desire to drink (and makes you feel very ill if you drink while taking it). My partner used that and it was effective for him.
If your drinking is constant but not very large amounts, you can certainly stop by yourself. I did that. But be warned, there can still be some nasty withdrawals, though not life threatening. If you are wanting to do this, I strongly suggest you take a few days off work to get through the tough early withdrawals. You might feel like you've got the flu, your body will work overtime expelling the toxins etc (if you get my meaning). Be very very kind to yourself during that time, keep well hydrated, eat when you can, don't fuss about the type of food - make it every wicked thing you can think of if it helps to ease the feelings of deprivation (and to keep your sugar levels stable - we get a lot of sugar from alcohol and cutting it out can cause terrible headaches etc).
This all sounds pretty grim I know and I won't kid you, it is. But once you get through the worst it gets easier and easier and you start to notice how much better you are, how much better you're sleeping and, most importantly, how much better you feel about yourself.
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Continuing from the previous post, here's a bit about what to expect in the early stages of quitting booze, reposted and edited from other threads:
Quitting is going to take grim determination, and real focus. I know quite a few now-sober alcoholics (including me) who basically had to treat not drinking, dealing with the physical withdrawal and resisting strong urges as our sole purpose every day until it stuck.
One of the first things you might find is that your days suddenly become a lot longer, sometimes terribly long. And you might have difficulty sleeping at night.
The urges to drink will be fierce - there's some good info on the web about handling urges, so do some research. There's one called Urge Surfing, which is based on the theory that an urge generally last for no longer than about 20 mjnutes at a time, and if you can 'ride it out' it will pass. The technique involves paying very close attention when you experience the urge - notice what's going in in your body and mind. Sit with the urge, feel the 'wave' of it, examine it, ride it and notice the physical and emotional changes when it starts to ease. Basically this is a mindfulness technique that enables you to confront and accept the urge rather than give in or fight yourself about it. I used that a lot and it helps with any form of addiction.
There's another one I used, a distraction technique called The 10 minute rule - basically when an urge hits, tell yourself it's OK, you can drink, but not for another 10 minutes. In that time distract yourself as much as you can and there's a good chance the urge will pass. If it doesn't, tell yourself another 10 minutes and distract again. Keeping doing that until the urge passes. It's a mental trick but it works because you're not denying yourself, you've given yourself permission, but you're delaying gratification, hopefully until the desire goes away.
If anyone else has tips for getting through the early stages of recovery, please feel free to share them.
Thanks and cheers!
Kaz
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Hiya Bob! Great to see you mate - you posted while I was putting my second post together 😃.
How are you going? have you been back to the recovery group?
xx
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