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Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

Guest_5809
Community Member

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

357 Replies 357

im ok Dotti

i just updated my thread on how today went with everything.

your not old to me and your life isnt over to me. i wish i could make things better for you but i also know that when your in this sort of headspace its hard to really think of anything else so... ill jsut sit here with you and hold out my hand to you so you can squeeze as tight as you want to, my shoulder is also there if you need to as well.

sending lots and lots of hugs to you

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your words are so beautiful and kind. You deserve such wonderful things in your life. Xx

Pysis
Community Member

Hi dotti

im sorry your not having a good day, I get the feeling.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you. your trying that's what matters.

your life isn't over dotti there is always time to do what we love dosent matter if we are 9 or 90 as long as your alive there is still time to do what you love, hang in there.

thinking of you

Nath

Guest_5809
Community Member
No days are good athe moment. I just want to be in bed or roll into a ball and hide from the world. I am in such a rut. I hate it.

Pysis
Community Member

I'm sorry to hear that dotti

what kind of job do you have?

do you have any pets to keep you company?

im here if you need to talk

Nath

thank you Dotti

i think the same thing of you

xoxoxox

Guest_5809
Community Member

Hi nath. I work as a preschoolteacher. Part time. Struggling g to get there and I used to adore my job.

Got so many overdue notice disconnection noticed today because I can't open them I can't deal with looking or paying g bills. Struggling to be an adult.

Hi Dotti,just popping in to say hi,

Wrote this so many times and deleted it,anyway I could never look after kids for work,so I a praise you for the work you do.

Now more importantly have you got any pets?

Dory

Pysis
Community Member

Hi dotti

i think it takes a very kind person to work with preschool kids, I think you are a very good person from what I've seen.

i know you'll get there you are strong enough to still be here so you'll have the strength to get better.

thinking of you

Nath

startingnew
Community Member

it takes a special person to work with young kids Dotti and your certainly one of those

nevr doubt yourself esp in that aspect.

sending lots of reassuring and comforting hugs and my hand is always out for you

xoxoxox