Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

[Guest_5809]

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[startingnew]

Hey Dottibluebell

im sorry it took me so long to find your thread but ive found it now.

when i get a chance ill read your entire thread to get a feeling for you but i wanted to drop in and say hello and that you have my love, support and encouragment to help you through the rough times

xoxoxox

[Guest_5809]

Thanks so much for your kind words. I am in such a deepest darkest whole right now. But I appreciate your thoughts.

[startingnew]

im sorry to hear that

know that im hear holding your hand and helping you through the crashing waves

xoxoxox

[Guest_5809]

How are you doing? I hope you are doing ok.

i am wasted space now. That's ok. I know my destiny but I still think of others. And wish you greatness x

[startingnew]

you most certianly arent a waste of space!

you have more heart (kind caring compassionate, loyal, respectful, loving many mnay mnay other things) than what most people have.

your not a waste of space. your very worthy and many others here think the same as i do.

[Guest_5809]

You seem to know the right things to say. Some days I think this is it then I reward one of your messages. And I keep going

thank you thank you thank you

[Guest_5809]

I so wish I was all that and more. I wish someine lived me. Actually cared for me. That's all history now. Just have to suck it up

[Guest_5809]

I really Fong have a lot to offer there forums. I am hood st the poor me self pity. I do apologise that's not my intention. Thank you so much for ally your responses. It takes your personal voluntary time to reply.

Please resoind to those who really heed it. I am happy for my post to be closed. I don't want people wasting their time seeing my desperation popping up when people really need it.

🤗🤗

[startingnew]

oh but you are all that and much more. its hard for us to see as it evaluating ourselves and we dont like to do that.

we all care for you, very much so.

even though you alone, we are all with you in spirit.

can you maybe get a compain pet? they are good for people are are physically alone...

lots of love and hugs

xoxoxo

[Croix]

Dear Dottibluebell~

The Forum is here for people in need, you are a people and you are in need. That simple. and yes our words and time are voluntary. If we post to you it is because we want to. Why do we want to? Because we see you better than you see yourself. You are worthwhile.

There is nobody on this Forum who needs our words more than you.

Your desperation makes our hearts melt, we only have faint words on a screen to give you , but they are given with care.

There is one other thing you have not considered, there are others in the world who are in situations like yours who never post, just read. This thread will give them a little hope, a day at a time.

OK?

Croix