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Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

3,069 Replies 3,069

Hi Paws,

I've been writing to you on your thread, but you haven't been there.

I'm off to get out in the sunshine now, good to see you back around here on BB. I will try to post again later. oxoxox

Hi paws. Sorry I haven't had a chance to post much here tonight, busy day! We are OK here and today was nice and sunny.

I did post on your thread a few days ago I think. I'll try to post more tomorrow although there's not much news... Pats to Woofa! 🐕🙂💖

Hi Paws, Grandy, Deebi, mmMekitty, everyone

It looks like we are in for some wet days ahead... drat. I'm on here late and briefly tonight as Sam was having a lovely walk this afternoon but has hurt a paw, so I am playing nurse this evening - we did go to the vet and there were so many people waiting to see one with only half an hour until closing that I thought, take him home and see how he is in the morning and go back to the vet then...

I am wondering about a new friend of mine... she lives only around the corner... moved here from the city the same time as me, a bit younger than me... works from home... she said she never goes out. She goes to the dog park with her new dog - she's only had her for 6 months - and is very pleasant and chatty with people there - and we have agreed to help each other if one of us should get sick or need help.. but apart from the dog park she stays alone at home all the time - she says she has lots of friends but is not social and prefers to be alone.

I can't work out how you would have a lot of friends but only ever text (she never phones) and stay home most of the time... I wonder if she means people she knows casually that she texts.. it seems a shame that she will never come with me and my other friend to a cafe, or have an ice cream outside...

Anyway, I have to carry Mr Sam down the front stairs to do his business tonight before bed... I am still planning on getting a cat eventually, and today went to the op shop and someone had handed in a cat carrier - in perfect condition - I got it for fifteen dollars, which must be cheaper than I would get one for anywhere else..

Grandy, I'm glad you had scones and jam at the shop and that you enjoyed the doggies dressed up...

Keep warm and dry everyone, hugs. oxoxoxoxox

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Hanna,

Oh poor little Sam... I hope his paw is better today... you have both been having a bad run lately...

It sounds like you friend is similar to me... I only speak to or catch up in person with my friends a few times a year... I've known most of them for decades... some from primary school... others from my 20s & some are old workmates... since I've moved here even with family I can go weeks without speaking on the phone to them.

I am a solitary soul... even being on bb every day can at times be difficult for me... I understand her feeling that that meeting up with people at the dog park is enough socialisation as she is comfortable with...

Hugs

Paws

Hi paws

Well it's not enough for me I like friends who enjoy catching up so I won't be bothering with her much.

You don't need to come on BB every day Paws, I only come on in sporadic moments not every day that's for sure! Why don't you just come on when you feel like you want to? I don't mind.

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Hanna,

Perhaps I worded it wrong when I said I can at times find being on bb daily difficult... I didn't mean I always find it difficult... just I have patches where I can struggle with it when I am down... like when I was off bb last week for a few days when I was missing my brother... when I am on here it is because I want to be...I like that there is no pressure for any of us to post here... plus the friendships I've found here matter to me even though none of us will ever meet.

Hugs

Paws

Hi Hanna, Paws & all,

I was thinking along the same lines as Paws, about the neighbour. I'm rather like her, too. There are ever only a very few places at any one time where I feel socially comfortable. The other thought I had is maybe these 'friends' are online friends?

*

Without going into a lot a details or listing the ways, it does get to be too much for me to read & post as much as I'd like. I can't keep up.

I am reading your thread, Hanna.

I don't know which is Paws' thread, so I'm sorry I haven't read that. I don't know about your brother, just what you said, about missing him. I think we all have days like that, when missing someone not in our lives, & we need to take time to miss them again.

It takes me five minutes to think, 'is this all I want to say right now?', while playing my phon's 'Garage Band' app, (piano), ... I think I zone out a bit when I'm doing that.

Kindness & warmth to you all who read & post here & anywhere on BB forums.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

*PS, don't forget about next Monday, when the change to the upgraded BB Forums begins. See either:

How can we improve the forums? Your suggestions and comments please
Forums changes - updates thread!

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi mmMekitty,

I thought I said somewhere to Paws that I suspected these friends were online friends who she texts or Zooms with... she has the right to want only online friends, but I want friends I meet with in person and go out with, so if she only wants online friendship, when she lives two minutes walk away from me in my street, that's not enough for me. She was a school teacher so I'm sure she is used to working with people, so it seems a shame. Anyway we will see what happens. Cheers.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Hanna, Paws, mmMeKitty, and all..🤗..

Hanna, I’ve thinking about your new friend...It’s great that she gets out to the dog park and can be chatty with all you beautiful dog owners...maybe she has a lot of anxiety and finds it hard to go out visiting other people or sitting in a cafe in a public place.....maybe now she has a dog, it gives her a reason to go out in public on her own....not sure just my thoughts...I know I don’t go out...other then Monday and Tuesdays to work....I stay at home the other days because I don’t feel safe, out in public on my own.,,,I feel safe inside my home...

Sorry about Sam hurting his little paw..,I do hope he is feeling better...poor sweet little fur baby....

Its really important that you care for your mental health in regards to the forums, and not force yourself to post anywhere when you’re not up to it....Please do be mindful of you mental health everyone...

Sorry Paws you’re missing your brother....Can I give you a friendly caring warm hug dear lovely friend....If you feel to talk, we are all here for you...with our care..

Stay as warm as you can everyone...I’m sure the rain falling here today is melted ice...it’s so cold...

My care, love and hugs everyone..

Grandy.,

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy

I'm just having a rest before taking Sam to the vet. Yes I wondered the same thing about my friend, but if she is like that it's no good for me as I like to meet up with my friends and go out, so her friendship isn't the sort I want or need. So I see no point in continuing with it. It's a shame. She is literally 6 houses down from me, texts constantly but won't come over for a cuppa.

It's very cold and drizzly here. I've been out to the library and shops and spent nearly an hour chatting on the phone with an old friend.

I'm sorry to hear you won't have your support worker any more but you are doing so well. I think you will be fine!

I'm going to have a hot coffee before going to the vet!!!! 🙂