Anxiety and depression/loneliness

[Branka]

Hi to everyone. I have recently moved to Melbourne from Sydney to be with my 2 younger sons and grandson. It was a major decision as I had been living in Sydney for 50 years. I thought that moving would be great. My anxiety and depression has become worse. I have had clinical depression since I was 16 and anxiety for most of my life.

I am living with my youngest son and his wife. He abuses me verbally and emotionally and I now wonder if the move was wise. I simply don't have the energy nor finances to move back to Sydney. I feel lonely and sad as I just don't know what to do. I have no friends however, I have started working whicj has made me feel better.

I am divorced and unable to protect myself from my son's abuse. This is making me extremely anxious and sad. Why did I move in with him? Because I thought he may have changed particularly as he had recently married. I was wrong and feel really confused.

I am new to this forum and hope that I can find some support. Thank you.

[Branka]

Hi

Is getting the silent treatment emotional abuse?

Branka xxx

[Pistol]

Hi I’m Pete an I’m struggling with depression and I constantly feel down an sad I’m on medication at the moment I lost my marriage we have a son that is 4an a half I started seeing someone an now she is pregnant I feel as if I’ve done the wrong thing an ive let my son down I think about this every day an it makes me feel more an more down my partner I’m seeing now I’m pushing her away I feel as if I should be by myself because I’m such a failure

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

You asked

Is getting the silent treatment emotional abuse?

Well in your circumstances I'd have to say yes. While 'silent treatment' might be a stage in a normal argument (if there is such a thing) in this case it as part of a long-term concerted set of actions designed to overbear you will for his gain.

On the brighter side if you are getting the silent treatment I'd imagine it is much better than the sorts of abuse you have been on the receiving end of in the recent past.

I'm very pleased for you that the moving date has been brought forward.

Croix

[Ellie05]

Hi Branka,

Sorry to but in but I've been reading this thread and I have to say you are very brave in standing up to your son and getting your own place. Obviously I don't know the circumstances but I think it's a massive red flag that he wanted you to help pay for the mortgage without putting your name on the deed. This is incredibly risky as you'd be left homeless should he or his wife decide they no longer wanted to live with you and you would have been completely at their mercy because of this. Hopefully once you are in your new place and have some time to relax with your cat you will start to feel a bit better.

How is your relationship with your other two sons? Perhaps you could organise to visit them for a few days?

[Branka]

Hi Ellie

Thank you for your reply. My youngest son whom I am living with at present has been abusing me emotionally and psychologically and I just can't take anymore. At the moment I am getting the cold shoulder treatment from him and his wife. This is actually making me not only extremely uncomfortable but depressed also.

I see my other son who lives here and he is great. My oldest son is in Sydney but we keep in touch.

I am moving out on the 8th November which will be great. I still love my youngest son and am prepared to forgive him. However, he strongly believes that I am to blame for everything. My other sons agree that not being on the house title deed is very risky for me.

Branka xxx

[Branka]

Hi Jenn

Thank you for your reply

I won't annoy you with all the details as you have read my posts.

At the moment my son and his wife are not talking to me which is making me feel so uncomfortable and sad. When I am not working I leave the house and try to find things to do. It's really a sad situation but I just hate being at home.

My other 2 sons are great. I can't understand why my youngest son is the way he is. He had a loving upbringing despite the fact that my husband and I are divorced. I am moving out next week because I can't take my son's abuse anymore.

He wants me to start packing now and I have found some of my things boxed up by him already.

Hopefully things will be better in the future. I am told that abusers rarely change. My son has said that I am ruining his life and wants nothing to do with me. Well that's fine.

It would be great to share our experiences. Perhaps we can do this on the forum.

Roll on the 8th .

Branka xxx

[Branka]

Hi everyone, hope you are all well

Just an update on how things are going. Home life is really depressing. I came home from work last night said hello to my son 3 times and all I got was a sarcastic 'what' and when are you packing.

Sometimes I think freinds treat you better rhan your own family. When my son does talk to me he is abrupt and condescending. So much for being the intelligent adult that he claims to be. My daughter in law is not saying much either and I think she may have strict orders from my son not to have anythingto do with me.

This makes me really sad and angry at the same time. I am still spending as much time away from the house as possible even if it means sitting in my car all day.

I move on the 8th and can hardly wait.

Branka xxx

[Croix]

Dear Branka~

It has been good to hear from you. Actually I'm a bit relived there are only uncomfortable silences and sarcasm. I'd worried there might have been more in your face shouting and insults.

With only 3 days to go the finish of all this is well and truly in sight, it's a sad thing, but it is often the case there is a marked difference in siblings, as is the case here with your sons.

How is your work at the moment, are you managing OK? The 8th is a Wednesday, will you need time off for the move?

Croix

[Branka]

Hi Croix

Work is great. It's the only thing keeping me sane. I have Wednesday off so that I can move out. I was called for a shift but I had to decine. Work was understanding. I can hardly wait. Today I am sitting in my car because I hate being at home.

I will be ok. I hope.

Branka xxx

[Mathy]

Hoping the next couple of days fly by for you Branka, roll on Wednesday. I’m glad for you that work is so great for you, cheers M 🙂