Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hey there beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and to all lovelies out there 👋

How you going sweetyheart 🤗 As always thinking a lot about you and wondering how you're coping.

Grandz you speaking up is solid. Please don't allow beasty to tell you otherwise. Oh IT'll try I know but believing in yourself is essential especially in these rotten circumstances. You're a very good person honey.

No one has a right to disrespect you, talk down or go off. You didn't do anything wrong it was them who did.

Grandy I really hope you're ok precious friend/soul sista. You'll be looking back on this honey and when you do I truly hope you can hold your head high because you've done right by yourself and your community. I say power to you ✊

Please Grandy love dig deep and listen to the good side telling you good truths not beasty brat.

Love you very much dear friend. PubAok lysvm yAdimh need you blossom ☺🤝

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊🗯👭👀

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone..

I really so much appreciate your beautiful kind posts to me..and want to thank you all for your kindness and care...I wish so much that people in my r/l are as kind and caring as you all are...

I am okay...struggling a bit with my thoughts...but okay..and feeling safe in my own little world with my fur babies and feather baby...

Just wanted to call in to thank you all for your kindness and care....

My deep love bbff...and everyone...

Grandy...

[Tess2]

Dearest Grandy,

what a horrible man and to speak that way to a volunteer. He should not be in a position to be managing people. I also can’t believe that he is throwing out stuff that others in their kindness have donated. If they would not sell there they should be passed on to somewhere else.

i would have done much more than walk out. You don’t need to be around people like that. I think he is uncomfortable about the fact of letting those ladies take the dolls you donated.

You are a fabulous and worthwhile person and don’t doubt yourself.

We love you and appreciate you. You have helped me a lot and I think of you a lot, even if I don’t post very much.

Xxtess

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Thank you for coming over to mine. xx

How are you lass? I hope you aren't listening to beasty.

I'm guessing it is hot there today. It is hot here & earlier Woofa decided the best place to be in front of the fan was by sitting on my lap... not the most cool option for me.

How is your new feathered friend coping with the heat? I remember growing up we used to take the bottom pull out tray out of the bird cage & put our canary in the shade & give him a misting spray with the hose leaving puddles on the bottom for him to splash in. Sometimes we just sprayed him with a spray bottle & put a shallow dish of water for him to play in if it was too hot outside.

Hugs for you & belly rubs for your furs

Paws xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Tess, Paws and all..

Since I told him about the dolls, he hasn’t been the same with me....So I’m guessing he was still annoyed with me for letting him know..

This past few months..he has been throwing so much sellable things into the skip bin..it’s really heartbreaking knowing other people would be so grateful and appreciative of these things... and he just just throws them out?...It was mention at our last meeting a few months ago..as it’s just not me the others feel the same...He dismissed that discussion..very quickly...I just should have kept myself quiet and said nothing last Tuesday....

I decided to not associate with anyone anymore outside my home...I tried it and it hasn’t work..I have lost my hope that people are genuine and caring in the real world..because the first chance they get..they will throw their weight around and not care about their actions or the words they say to someone..as long as they get want they want..and make sure you remember that they are the boss and your just a worker...they don’t really care about anything else...

I am okay...I have my fur babies, and feather baby..My friend Betty and all you beautiful friends here on Beyond Blue...

oh Paws today I did spray a mist on Ruby (feather baby) and she spread her wings and flapped them..she enjoyed it so much..I have a small bowl of water for her to play in...I also gave my fur babies a haircut the other day...They are right now laying on their bellies with their little feet stretched out...it was and still is hot..

I’m doing okay...I hope your all doing okay and having many good days in your life...

My love and gratitude to you all..

Deebi...bbff love you very much as well..and hope your doing okay...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

i am very concerned about you. I know that you are secure in your home and you have your love pups and bird. But to exclude possibility of associating with people outside of home is very limiting. To say it has not been successful is just not true. Admittedly you have come across some unpleasant experiences especially lately. But you did the right thing. You spoke for yourself and for what was wrong. You have been brave and right. I am really proud of you. I know how hard it can be to speak up against what is wrong. And it does take its toll. Just take a break for a while and then review how you feel.

remember you are safe here, and cared for very much

tess

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy

I hope you and your furs are doing OK in this awful hot windy weather... I don't like summer! Poor little Sam feels the heat badly.

I think after all you have been through you need a break for a while! It's hard at this age to make a good friend, and you've had a bad time lately at that shop, and with your support person and the walks, so take some time to care for yourself and your furs and feathers and recover. There are kind, decent people out there but for now I think you need a MH break and just pamper yourself and your pets for a little while.

Sending our fluffiest soft cuddles your way oxoxox

[demonblaster]

Hey there beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and to your lovely friends too 👋

Yes it sounds like he might have his feathers in a knot that ignorant man but you know hun...that's his problem not yours!

You did the right thing all the way.
Tough they didn't like it. They're doing the wrong thing and got called on it. Good job.
Remember that dear Grandz I too am incredibly proud of you 🤗

Tess and Hannahs posts are spot on I reckon, I fully agree to have a blow for a while beautiful. You need recharging for now aye.

Sweetylove I too don't think give up on people completely yet, hard atm to believe this but there really are good ones out there.

So good riddence to the horrids Grandy. A nice fresh start for you lovely lady 🙂
Their loss totally...they'll feel it.

Sorry though hun I think you did entirely throughout all that do the right thing speaking up.
A lot of people don't, they'll say stuff but not to the right ones. It takes courage which you have in spades.

Sounds gorgeous looking after your feather/furs. Ruby has a very good Mum and brothers.
She I imagines a very welcome addition to the beautiful Grandy family. Our family 💜

I hope you are doing ok beautiful Grandy.
Thinking always about you and wondering how you're going.
PubAok sweetyheart. Lysvm yadimh.
Can't imagine not having you in my life. Love and care so so much dear friend 🤗😚

Hope your days are better each time my gorgeous. You're so much stronger than you think. You're an inspiration to many I have no doubt including myself

👩‍❤️‍👩💜👭🤝👀🕊

[Croix]

Dear Grandy

I notice you said you were not the only one the felt the manger was throwing away good stuff.It is proof of your judgment. Was one of those friendly?

I've really no idea if a break is a good thing, maybe in the short term, may be not.

I do know two things.

People need people in the long term, and sometimes dealing with them is hard to do. Probably finding the good ones is the hardest thing.

The other is if you break of a realtionship -be it work or wahtever, if you ever want to go back it is harder.

It has been taxing for you, though every step of the way you have done the right thing, someone I'd like to have at my side if things were going wrong.

Maybe you do need a rest to regather your strenght.

Whatever you decide is good

Croix

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix...and all..🤗..

Thank you for your lovely posts...

My Victims Services Counsellor..asked me a question at my last appointment....”If my boss said those words to me 3 years ago, What would I have done?”....My answer was..I would have felt guilty and bad about myself then continued working.....She said that I didn’t act that same way I would have because I had enough respect for myself to step away from a toxic situation.....It took me a while, to accept that I done no wrong in pointing out to my boss about him throwing away people’s donations....He is so wrong, no matter which way I thought about it...He took me down so far, triggered so many emotions, brought back thoughts, feelings, guilt, shame. that I have been working through with my V. Counsellor.....I was so far down, it was scary, so easy when that low to go with our thoughts..Pulling up, and feeling not so bad..

Tuesday was hard not going in...I was so tempted to go in and apologise to the boss to stay working there...That would have been the wrong thing for me to do...

I still don’t want to see anyone yet..although I’m feeling better...but maybe I feel better because I haven’t been out nor seen anyone for over a week...idk...

Hopefully the boss and his wife will retire next year...then I might re apply to work their..

I mowed today..yes silly me..sunburn has left my skin feeling hot.... as well as the usual painful hips and back....I’m about ready to go to bed I think...I have to stop sitting up until the early hours before I go to bed...I really don’t know why I hate sleeping so much..

Much love to you my bbff...big bear hugs..💜🐻🤗..yadimh 24/7/365..and my 💭..

My care, love and hugs to everyone..🦋💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..