Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[quirkywords]

Morning everyone

GG and waves to sad-mushroom

I am thinking of you today.

Like you, sad-mushroom, I will be around to day.

I think it is nice when it is a cool day.

Kind wishes to everyone reading this.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Merry Christmas, DB, Sad Mushroom, Quirky,

thank you for letting me know,

Nice cool day, raining, I suppose it's better then been hot,a bit dissapointed I had my day planned now for over a week to watch both sunrise and sunset,

I hope all have a peaceful day.

GG.

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi everyone,

I was going to dig out the side area to lay the pavers but the ground is rock hard now. I should have done it last week after a couple of days of rain but put it off thinking I'd do it over the Christmas break.

GG I wish it would rain here. I only need enough to make the top layer of ground soft. Don't need to dig down far. I'm thinking of placing the grey water hose from the washing machine out there and wash all the blankets and doonas before I pack them away. Trusting my luck I'd get them all washed and then it would rain and none of them would dry...hehehehehe Then the ground would be mud and I wouldn't get the digging done either.

Might just be easier to sit inside and watch movies...

SM

[demonblaster]

Thanks hun Happy Xmas Grandy & lovely people here too

Yeah cooler & raining a bit here too

Grandy I know it's crazy aye when we're exhuasted but the body won't relax or mind to let us have this desperately needed sleep jeez another all niter, maybe you can get some today darl you can't keep on like this

Thought of you this morning & felt too a shame you didn't get to see sunrise, (another day aye) I wasn't awake early but you apart from my baby (adult love) were one of my first thoughts for Xmas 🙂 & Rockstar too xx

Let me know how you go
You're so beautiful saying not to worry about reply enjoy family time. (( L&C souls))

Hey something good happened last night

[Ggrand]

Hi Sad Mushroom,

Sound a good plan, sitting down watching movies, I think I will write out some poems into my journal, I'm collecting a few meaniful ones from here, WK, writes beautiful meaning poems, I have around 3 more to write out, that will take a couple of hours.

I had a personal reason waiting for sunset today, I could have done it any day, nope, it was supposed to be today, I know I can't change the weather, but oh come on, every time I plan something, things just don't work out.

Im definitely jinxed in life.

The grey water sounds like it might work ok for you, we have rain here, not much but it's wet.

Have a good day SM,

caring thoughts,

GG.

[Ggrand]

Hi DB,

Merry Christmas honey,

Im fine DB, please do enjoy your day, I mean that.

Sleep will come, when it wants to, I'm not tired to sleep, so I'm not worrying about it.

Something good happened last night, I really hope it was very good for you..You deserve good things to happen to you..

I will let you get back to your family, have a really nice time my sweet,

i still might get my sunset done, the clouds breaking up.

Sending my love and peaceful thoughts to you DB,

you are special.

GG.

[demonblaster]

You're special too darl x

That's ok hun we're having a lovely time just blobbing out, having drinks tonight with next door know them from previousl visits and tomoz having meal I think with them

Ahhh so it's got a special meaning to you, well that sounds hopeful that it's breaking up a bit.

Good you're keeping busy and your poem to me in Pearls, deeply moving, you do often. Was going to suggest other day you might like to poem but have to go with the flo aye

What about later just have a lay down Grandy , heard recently it's still giving the body rest and we without realising have micro sleeps so may help body come down. I know you're not overly fazed about sleep, I am for you & Starts, it makes it all so much harder to deal with

Yeah hun the bloke rang back, didn't think I'd be hearing from him, we're gunna see how it goes.

Peace for you too good lady, deep care & love

[Ggrand]

Hi DB,

I don't want to annoy you but,,

So very happy for you,,,just go slow, friendship important first,

loving your happy.

GG

[demonblaster]

You never annoy me Grandy darl

Yeah I think so, never have before haha I'll say bit more nah you've read it you'll know where I'm going lol just a lot of people here who I don't think read other thread so ... well I'm not shy but ........ smiling.....cryptic or what....wanna open more but.....

How's your day, hey do you need time, I mean do you want me to choof for a bit.
I come & go lately here, more full on in BP but love being here depending what rl goings on

[Ggrand]

Hi DB,

Very emmotional, Christmas yeah so many horrid memories are stirred up today, feeling really sad, trying not to but I will be ok. we will leave this at that, change subject if ok.

Im thrilled for you DB, you deserve happiness. It sounds like your having a good time and that makes me feel good.Hope you are getting on top now, sounds like it very good, No I don't do poems, just wanted to write out a couple more of WK, Tony's, he sends some to me at times and that means a lot to me, and the ones he sends are so meaniful to me..

sun is out, I have to do this DB, I have to break out of my cage and drive somewhere different, and sit and watch the end of today,

(L&C).

🤗🤗🤗🤗 kind thoughts.

GG