Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hi

post just arrived, that took ages,

lol, I'll pass on the loud dance music, I'll take the drink, talk,laughing anytime, I honestly think I could sit down with you F2F and chat with you quite easily, you make me feel warm and safe.

GG

[white knight]

Hi Karen

Going backwards eg what life would be like with your ex, is not good. In 1996 after separating from my 1st wife I was in grief of my children as I saw them every second weekend (not enough) and returned to the caravan park after dropping them off. An older man living near me, a traveler advised me after I said I'm thinking of going back, "don't ever go backwards". He was aware of the 11 years of emotional abuse I put up with not to mention the huge laziness issue. I'd worked 3 jobs so she could be a stay at home mum but on top of that I did the housework and changed nappies, washed them and hung them only to get the silent treatment for up to 6 weeks at a time because I didn't hang the shirts properly.

I'd never go backwards. I would go forwards!!! I'd consider having a boyfriend....sorry not me, you lol...meaning I'd consider having a girlfriend or three. That means I'd fill my empty hours up with company, lots of friends that I could visit, hobbies along the lines of what interested me. But I would want the ability to head off with my caravan and vintage car to camping in places of solitary.

Luckily I have a good marriage. I recommend when ready (not before) some connections to other new people in your life.

Friends, the plug of loneliness. But there are catches. Here are the two extremes. In the middle is the answer dear Karen.

"Sometimes its better to be alone, nobody can hurt you" - Hercules

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted, is the most terrible poverty" - Mother Teresa

Tony WK

[demonblaster]

F2F would be magic aye

That makes me feel good hearing that thanks Grandy

You've got wide wings, stuff you say makes me feel good too (( L&C Souls))

[white knight]

Hi GG

Use search to find "bouquet of pearls" thread. I just made a small entry for you.

Tony WK

[Ggrand]

Hi Tony,

Thank you for your post, love the boyfriend slip up thanks, I got a little laugh out of that..

Silent treatment for not hanging shirt out properly 6 weeks, sounds like my ex.. I received the same quite often, I remember once I being totally ignored for weeks because the wind blew the door shut I forgot to put the door stopper on. I also had to nursed a few bruises on me as well.

I couldn't go back if I wanted to he died, If he was alive no I definitely wouldn't.

I did leave him 3 times, I had nowhere to go, so ended back with him. He always made me feel like he has the victim, anyway enough about him.

No I don't trust people to be wanting a relationship. I don't want and can't handle anymore hurt in my life.

I've just got no strength in me to fight anymore, when I was with him I had so much strength to fight , I had to for my kids and my survival. Now I have no reason for that strength, nothing to fight for.

Friends, If I wasn't so darn afraid, yes that would be my option.

Enjoy going out with friends, but coming home to me myself and my dogs, yes that sounds okay to me.

Thank you Tony your a special person,

kind thoughts

GG.

[demonblaster]

Grandy I"ve been thinking a bit about your Psych, she's wants to help you unleash the beast, maybe it's more effective when we're at bottom, when we're strong maybe we block the pain more.

Agree above what about asking to see her more often

You clearly have a LOT of people in your corner here Grandy, we're here for you too

You're doing well opening in bits, part of healing I think

You badly need sleep, do you have anything to help meds. Sorry if you've said before

[Ggrand]

Hi DB,

Im on my 4th lot of meds, these are not helping me either, I told my psych, but was told to continue, I've been on these now for 5 weeks, Now I have 7 weeks with these meds, They are not helping, my gp not allowed to change them, Physiatrist from Sydney prescribe them.

They won't give me any sleeping pills, I've asked a few times,

With these meds for another 7 weeks, I really don't know., no sleep, meds not working, scares me a bit.

GG

[demonblaster]

Try a hot as you can bath, relax in it, I don't like baths, skin goes soggy, but did yrs ago on advise & slept like a baby, was desperate. If not a shower.

Relaxes us or be in water if you can, like a pool.

[Ggrand]

Hi DB, WK, Quirky, ( everyone else ).

I will try that hot bath or shower tomorrow night, DB, , I'm desperate now, was thinking of doing it now, it's nearly 5am, sunrise time soon, been awake all night, Don't know why I'm not sleeping, ... worn out, body tired, mind tired, sore eyes, but not sleepy tired.

going to make a cuppa tea now, maybe a slice of toast with peanut butter & honey,

have a peaceful day, DB, no need to answer, enjoy your time with family,

(L & C). Christmas soul hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗

GG.

[Sad_Mushroom]

Morning GG,

Merry Christmas!!

I'll be here all day if you get bored and want to chat. It's a lovely cool morning here and looks like it might rain.

I thought about doing some yard work but really don't want to. Hoping it rains and saves the day.

SM