Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone…..🤗.

One of the customers on that Tuesday, who was present when the girl outback caused a bad scene in the shop, sent in an email to complain about the behaviour of the Vinnies staff….Big management came to our store, searched the shop cameras then after he listened to and watched it, decided that the girl who worked outback needs to take a break for a few weeks, then if or when she returns, she will not be working on my days…instead she’ll be working on the days the shop manager works….which mean I’m still doing 3 days a week….

My aged care done my assessment today, I’m able to buy some meals from meals on wheels and they are looking for someone that is registered with my aged care to help with my lawns, they told me this could take months because no one is registered in my area to do lawns…,which unfortunately needs to mowed in the next day or 2 otherwise it will be too high and I’ll need to do it twice….

I live a long 9 hours from the beach yet it’s really humid here…maybe it’s from the Dam…

Thank you Deebi, I’ve not been on the forums much the past 2/3 weeks, feeling people’s words and hurt a bit too much, maybe brought on by feeling so inadequate, mean and useless over what happened a couple of weeks ago…Doesn’t take much to put me in a downer🥹..but I’m climbing out of it..

I’m sorry Deebi, that I’ve not visited yours…but definitely will very soon…thinking of you 24/7with care and deep love…🦋💙👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💙🌹🤗🤗.

Hoping everyone has had a good day today…

Sending everyone my love, care and hugs..❤️🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hi Grandy, DB, Paws, everyone!

I don't get around like I want... I feel sorry for that, it's just getting so difficult. Yeah, & the problems since the site upgrade are not yet fixed, well, you know.

My sorrow is that I haven't been here for you or anyone, talking with you all, as well as I want.

*

Humidity gets to me, too, & I don't get the highest temperatures where I live. When I won't get to sleep, I will take a cool shower shortly before bed. I put a towel on my pillow, for my wet hair. & now I have the ceiling fan. That helps, usually enough, provided that other annoying/painful things don't prevent sleeping either. 

Lately, though, I've been pretty good. Just sometimes waking far too early!

I think it's the sweaty stickiness makes me feel grotty. Feeling clean helps so much.

*

I've read back a bit, about getting your age care help. Sad you can't get help with the lawn sooner.

It's great to have some meals.

I wondered if you have asked to have some home help? I understand that may be difficult for you, having someone in. I dreaded having someone in for years before I realised I needed the help, or I'd end up in squalor again. It felt risky & scary. But professional people will treat you with respect, & work with you & your decisions. They might even be able to find someone who can find what's going on with your vacuum. If you have an extension cord, no one has to come inside your home to hear what your vacuum sounds like & then to try to fix it, do they?

*

I'm glad the Manager is dealing with the woman who disrespected you.

She oughtn't speak to you disrespectfully anyway, but wait until she could talk more privately, with respect, about any issue she has with any other staff.

I know what a dilemma it is for you, if you don't have somewhere to go, to be useful & to have interactions with people, in a non-threatening way. I hope like heck that the difficulties you have at work can be sorted so you can continue, because, as you've said before, some of the customers you talk with are grateful & happy to chat with you. Who knows - the chats with you might be the only they have with anyone each week. Your friendly. caring contact with such customers is valuable beyond measure.

Hugzies to you & furbabies

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear mmMeKitty, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone…🤗..

Awe mmMeKitty, please don’t feel sorry sweetheart, your first priority is your mental and physical health….You are so important and valued to so many people here on these forums…I haven’t been around much either, just so much going on in my thoughts…wish we all had an off switch..that we could press and instantly our thoughts are peaceful….

Thank you for being able to understand my dilemma about staying home..I really do appreciate that…Working gives me some feelings of usefulness by contributing to society, it makes me feel like I have a right to be alive…staying at home 24/7,  I feel unworthy of my life, guilty of being alive and not doing anything except to get by each day the best I can…

I’m okay, doing my housework when I can…just doing bits at a time, I couldn’t have anyone in to help me, I would be too uncomfortable, feel bad that I had to ask for help with my lawns, late husband would be so ashamed of me….I know I am, but my bursitis has flared up in both shoulders since before Christmas, I’m sure it’s because of the heavy trolley when emptying the blue Vinnies bins….Geez, I’m struggling to even get dressed and just brush my hair🥹…sleeping is hard, every wrong move shoots so much pain down my arms…Trying really hard to stay on-top of my mental health….Cortisone shots are on my mind?…having bloods done this week..then 4 weeks until I see my Dr again…

[Ggrand]

Oops pressed reply by mistake…😁..

Thats okay with my vacuum..it’s noisy but still works, one came into work last week..if it hasn’t sold after this week, then I’m allowed to buy it…donations have to spend a week in the shop for sale before any worker can buy them….if it sells then that’s okay too…they often come in…

Deebi..I popped into yours tonight, hope you’re doing okay bbff…love, care and hugs precious bbff..💙🦋🌹🌈🤗..

Sending you all my love, care and hugs.❤️🦋🌹🤗🤗…

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi dearest Grandy and all you/r lovely friends here 
Dear girl I've been so slack but truth I've been keeping an eye on you. Over the last few days it's been full on at times, and I truly have meant to get back so much earlier than this. Know darlin you're always in my heart (locked in sweety) and mind. 
It just took around 10 mins to get to your recent post. Geez frustrating, no doubt more so for poor bb here. I look forward as no doubt so many do to these getting back on track.

urh I was so happy hearing you should be getting help with the lawns, what a shame it could take mths. Could there be someone from a church group that might be able to help but then it'd be too hard to approach them sweetygirl and I know you wouldn't want to ask.  I feel so sorry for people in your situation (hugs) Hey where's the emojis gone on this device grr, I say Croixy 😄 

Good hearing at least you can get reasonable cost meals, great help when we're not up to cooking and harder isn't it when it's only for ourselves. We looked into meals on wheels for Mr love but haven't yet and they're pretty low cost that helps.

It was really good hearing you're coming out of the downer, yes we can go down fast. I've learnt to pull out of the super downs but not as much for the downs but trying to apply the same principle to those with the snap out of it self talk, listening to the small rational voice and redirecting thinking to constructive or/and happy times. 

Oh while I think of it if anyone's interested we've been enjoying Starstruck after home & away Mondays 8.45pm. A song by Rag "n" bone (hadn't heard of him) was sung by 3 blokes and apart from the words it's mindblowingly good. All the singers are exceptional esp with this song. Was Season 1 episode 3 around 16 mins in the show. Songs called Human. AWESOME I"ll try and get a link happening near future. 

Grandy love you know how much you mean to me and several others here. 
I didn't find your post at mine the other day, will look again. 
Love you very deeply dear friend. PubAok yAdimh xx

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to DB,

Just popping over with a basket full of some freshly made scones... a choice of raspberry or strawberry jam... plus some whipped cream... or there are also some lemon tarts... some small choc cheese cakes or ginger bikkies.

I thought we could then make ourselves a cuppa & settle down on your verandah to just sit & enjoy the night sky & listening to all the wildlife that come out at dusk.... Don't forget the insect repellent... if the mozzies are as bad out your way as they are here we will need it...

Hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Grandy love Pawsy and all lovely people here and reading 🙂

What a beautiful yummm basket dear Pawsy bought over for us all to chow down on. Mmmm loven it all. Hope you're well dear Pawsy (hugs) 

So darlin just checking in on you to see how you're going lovely one. I really hope you're coping ok I know you have so much going on body and mind it's hard yakka eh. It helps me knowing it'll pass eventually, doesn't help for at the time though eh. (( Hugs for you too precious friend)) huh can't find emojy list on this device pfftt. Going through withdrawals already evennnn...lol

Our gorjy Destiny and Eternity wanted to come over and see you and play with the furs so I jumped in the vroommmm and here we are already. Oh that's just lovely, they run to you and the furs and I have to chase them for cuddles 😄 Nah love em to bits they're so cute. 

We're off to the flicks today soon to see Quantimania a Marvel one should be good. Missed seeing the 2nd Avatar we forgot. Oh well it'll land soon enough somewhere. Gotta have the icecreams, love the theatre ones. 

Grand you're always in my thoughts with untold love and care, I haven't been around much but know you're always loved very much dear friend. 
PuAbok Yadimh.

take good care all 🙂 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone…🤗..

Thank you so much for your posts, oh that basket of goodies sounds so yummy and I would love to sit on my veranda with all of you and just sit and listen to the creatures of nature…

I haven’t been that well physically which is having a toll on my mental health, my shoulders and arms especially the right on is limiting all my movements and causing me so much pain…will be getting some investigation and tests done as soon as I talk to my Dr..next week I hope…forgotten when my appointment is…I’m thinking now that maybe that fall I had before Christmas is the cause of all this pain…It’s been going on for so long…not sure but I think bursitis maybe a factor because I do have it, but never this amount of limited movement and pain….I’ve hardly had any sleep over the past couple of months due to every time I move slightly I’m woken by the pain….I can’t even come my hair and it takes me around an hour to get out of bed and get dressed, I cannot even lift my left arm it feels so heavy and painful it’s like it’s made out of heavy steel…I asked for time off work until I heal, but they told me to still come in and do nothing but the cash register, unfortunately that is still very painful…It’s doing my head in and I’m not coping very well…

The disrespectful lady has been moved to another day….she is now working on the day our shop manager works…

We had had a rather large bush fire burning 6 kilometres from mine,  since Tuesday thanks to the amazing work of the RFS it’s now under control…all the residents and visitors of the recreation park were evacuated…The air today looks and smells smoke free…

Definitely I want to see Avatar 2…the first movie was awesome…I enjoy watching it a lot…

My lawn mowing vouchers should arrive next week and the person who does Betty’s lawn, through “Live better” said he will do mine also…I did want to mow it before he starts but I’m not fit enough to do that.

probably reached character limit now..so I’ll wish everyone a good day…24/7 thoughts my bbff with lots of love 💕 and hugs🤗.

Hugs, love and care from me to everyone..fur/feathered babies are included..🤗❤️🦋.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Grandy

i can relate to being fatigued and it affecting my emotional health.

i hope you improve soon.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, waves to Quirky, Deebi,

oh lass you really do sound like your battling on all fronts at the moment... please double check when your appointment is as I worry you will be like me & lose track of which day it is & end up missing it... even if you have to stick notes to yourself everywhere... 

I'm biting my tongue about your work asking you to come in... ok you might just manage just the register (though it doesn't sound like you can)... but the driving there & back must be terribly painful for you especially on country roads... I know you're not comfortable saying no to your boss, but I think it might be time to tell him the drive there & back is too much at present & you will let him know what is what after you've seen your Dr. 

I'm so pleased you have someone organised to do your mowing... I'm tempted to pop over with some yummy food & whilst you're not looking change the address on the vouchers to mine 🤣🤣... but I think he might just notice that it's in a different state 🙄🤔

Gentlest of hugs dear Grandy & Woofa sends feel better soon doggy kisses