Dear Grandy,
You are not your late husband.
You are not what he thought & said you were. He was wrong. He took you & shook you about until you could barely tell wchich way was up, & fed you lies & bullshit.
Definitely you were not pathetic, dumb or stupid - you were terrified & trying to keep yourself safe as you could under the circumstances. I think, how frightening to lie to him, if only to sit outside, alone for a while.
You had a child you needed to care for, & (it pains me so much) being pregnant at the time.
You have survived so much, & were then, & now, a far better person than he might ever have hoped to be.
I only had that threat to force me to do that, once, & for me, it went no further. Just the thought of it, I could not contemplate.
Grandy, I hope you are putting in some extra time caring for yourself, treating yourself in the kindest & most nurturing ways you can. All the generosity & good will you show to others - I think you could use some of that now. Show yourself the same compassion you have shown to others close to you. Indeed, treat yourself better than you treat others. You've a right to be kind to yourself, to be yourself, wonderful as you are.
You've come such a long way from those days.
Want some big gentle hugzies? I have some to offer.
mmMekitty
PS, I'm with Learn To Fly. I'd want to report this that fellow buying clothes for 'his girls', not wanting to leave it be, with the possibility he's coercing or worse, the 'girls'. If he's buying small women's clothes, that would worry me more.
