Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Nigh night darlin bbff, just wanted to wish you a beautiful restful sleep full of Diamond dreams sitting in gorgeous White fluffy soft clouds with sparkling warm smiles radiating nothing but peace into your beautiful soul my dear friend. 

Always you're in my thoughts Grandz with so much love and warmth. 

So glad we're besties 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 💜 

 PUBAOK. No need to reply lovey. Good idea btw about just an emoji hun. I'm going well but pretty full on here for the project. Very tired but having breaks too. 

Thanks Grandy for being you 🌺💫💗
Nigh nite everyone sleep well too 😊

[ecomama]

Hi Grandy, hope you're doing okay? Thinking of you and hope you can get back to us soon. xxxx

Hi too to Hanna, Paws and everyone, poodle went to the vet and he assessed poodle with soft tissue damage and he hoped it wasn't tendon damage also. He gave Poodle an anti inflammatory injection which helped alot after a couple of hours. He's not allowed to go for walks for 5 days but that's okay I guess. 

I've had a bit of a shock today. Can't sleep tonight.
I'm also unwell. The GP prescribed anti biotics but was concerned they wouldn't work lol... I can't take Penicillin at all and that's the one that would work, he said. So I'm nursing a few ailments. 

I can hear a kookaburra laughing a sleepy laugh in the middle of the night lol. Something must've disturbed his sleep, hope it wasn't ME! Hahaha. 

Sending lots of love to each of you always. I really appreciate hearing your news and hope each of you are doing well, 
Love EMxxxx

[Ggrand]

Hello ecomama, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩  and everyone….🤗..

I’m really sorry I haven’t been around much lately….

Fur girl is doing well…still not using her leg that much…Vet surgeon said it will take a couple of months until she is back to her usual self…..

I am pleased to hear Poodle hasn’t broken his little paw…and hope so much that he heals quickly…..

I do hope you feel well soon, ecomama…It’s no fun being unwell….sending you lots of get well wishes 💥💥💥💥💥💥….

Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩….thank you for wishing me a beautiful restful sleep…I think I needed to hear that…Love you lots sweet bbff…💙🕊🦩🦩🐿🧸🤗…

Can’t talk about me or what’s happening in my life just now….

My love to you all along with some hugs…💕🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey there sweet bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 & everyone 😊

Ahh dear Grandy it's not sounding like things are too good for you atm hun. 
It's so hard in the darks to talk. When and if you're ready lovey.  
You're well loved and appreciated esp by your 💏.

Anything I can do for you Grandy?
You've got the goods sweety you really have. 

Poor little girl fur, bet she can't wait to be running with the others.

Don't like knowing you're struggling Grandz love 🤗
we're here when/if you're ready huns.

Ok sweets I'd better pop off to bed. Nigh nite precious  👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜👀 🤗
💖 

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Sending you a gentle hug lass... always here for you

Give your furs a cuddle

More hugs

Paws

[ecomama]

Dear Grandy, hugs for whatever you're going through at the moment, HUuuuGggggSssssss<< that was a long hug when you had to let go first. 

Little Ebony sounds like a pretty long recovery for her, you're doing all you can for her and I know she appreciates your love. 

Thankyou for your well wishes for Poodle, he's a bit limpy again this morning - too much up and down the back stairs! The little gate is staying locked all day and night from now. 

Thankyou also for your love and well wishes for me getting well. I hope to! 

Hello beautiful ladies here for Grandy and each other. It's a REALLY special group of friends here and I can see you all know it. 

Love to you all
EMxxxx

[mmMekitty]

Hugzies from me too, to support you while you are going through whatever it is. If you can use a hug, you got it - no need to explain.

D'ya like how we all have our own hugstyle?

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Trigger Warning..

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, ecomama, mmMeKitty, and everyone…🤗..

Thank you all for your caring words…

Ebony is nearly back to her self…now it a hard job to keep her from running around😁…she still has 3 more weeks to hold back from running…

A customer “man” has been coming in now for a few weeks buying lots of dresses…the ones displayed on the mannequins…”small sizes”..then last week some lingerie for his girls*…I thought for his daughters…I asked him how many daughters does he have….his reply was not daughter…”for my girls*….then he started telling me about them and how he looks after them….I got a clear picture in my head of who he is….and I’ve been helping him clothes these girls for him to make $$$ of them…..

It took me back to a time, when my late husband dropped me off at a few of these places…each Saturday night…..and I would just sit for hours at the train station or a public place wanting to go home..but couldn’t because I had no money with me….Then he would pick me up early morning and I had huge arguments with abuse from him…because I didn’t make money for him….he even went inside and abused the owner once….of course the time he did that he found out that I wasn’t employed* by them….made him so angry that he left me there…..The fear I felt for him…made me to agree to things…that I knew I would never ever do…..just agreed with him because I knew I would get some time away from him…..Pathetic me…

I have been hurting so much, feeling all those feelings he made me feel back then……I had one child and was at that time pregnant with my second son…and he knew it, when he tried to force me into doing that…..I stayed strong and disobeyed him….lied to him…I was only 23 years old..thoughts of ending my life was so constant…I tried but failed, he knew I tried so he stopped…said I was too ugly anyway…..Money was his first love, sex was his second love….but I never saw that…I was too dumb….I had no one else in this world only him and my son…I was dependent on him…I was brainwashed…that without him I wouldn’t survive outside of my marriage and I as stupid as I was believed him….I was nothing more then his servant…I don’t think he ever loved me, or his children….

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I'm sorry to hear that's been going on for you. I think you have mentioned this man before?

I'm sorry all that happened to you. I had a friend whose husband used to threaten to kill her parents if she ever annoyed him. These are terrible men.

Do you have any plans for how to help yourself when things like this trigger memories for you? Things to calm you or distract you?

I don't know what else to say so I'll just send you some flowers. I'm glad to hear about Ebony.

Look after yourself dear lady. 🌼🌳🌻💖🐕💐💞🐩🌹🦠🌸🏵️

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass I'm so very sorry you are having to deal with this... I wish I could give you a hug in r/l.

Lass you weren't/aren't pathetic.... despite everything you have had to endure you have still managed to be a kind, gentle soul who cares about others... think of yourself as a lovely willow tree... by bending with the force of the bad weather you have survived the storms... now you spread your branches wide & offer support to so many.

Be gentle with yourself

Love & more hugs

Paws