Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

Just sending you a big hug. You've been through a tough time recently. It's turned chilly here and the wind is cold! Such strange weather for February. Little Sam and I have wussed out this afternoon and just stayed home out of the breeze - vegging out with the telly tonight!!! I have to go to town O on Monday, I hope it's not quite this chilly.

I hope you are taking care of yourself dear lady. You need some coddling after being through such a worrying time. So pamper yourself a bit, OK?

I'm going to settle down later tonight with a hot cuppa and a good movie! - and a small furry little Sam curled up next to me on the couch - with a blanket and a hot water bottle I think! I'm going to watch Eat, Pray, Love - I feel like some "feel good" television.

Furry cuddles from little Sam (and for Deebi too)

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How are you lass?... Having your son home must be a relief... but I think it must be hard seeing him hurt & not being able to "fix" him... it sounds like he is facing a slow recovery.

I hope you are looking after yourself & taking time to care for your own mh... you matter to a lot of people...

Gentle hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Heya beautiful bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 👋

Just bought some homemade lemonade scones and some Pumpkin ones too that my dear late love was very good at they are all yummo and for all the family to chow down on with a cuppa. Grandy you Mr Deebi gorgeous and I can have our chai lattes mmmm and Blue pkt Tim Tams.

I hope dear sons doin as well as can be and no doubt having a lot of TLC which is great healing in itself.

Grandz forgot to say soz lovey how stoked I was to hear about your pumpkins you have growing. That sounds fantastic. Let's hope they keep thriving and you can be the Michellen star holder for Pumpkin soup woo hoo yum havent made it for ages.

Also just wanted to see how you're going lovey ☺🤗 and for you to know how much you're thought 🗯 at a constant truth about and so deeply loved and appreciated darlin besty 💜👩‍❤️‍👩

You're truly a magic beautiful lady and the best of friends.

Thank you gorjy one. Really love you. Hope you're ok sweety 🤗☄🌈

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🌈⚘🤝👀👂

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

I can only join all the other people. They have already said it all. I am so very glad your son is on the way to recovery and it is good both for his happiness and yours that he is home.

As all have also said please do not forget to look after you to

Croix

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Hanna, Katey, Croix...and others. 🤗..

Thank you all for your caring posts...

I got home late last night...I think it’s best to let them get some normality back into their lives....

My son, I’ll call him Ben*...is improving every day now...his ear and some fingers are the parts that will take a while to heal....he still has the drain in his stomach for another 2 weeks...it is slowly closing the hole* up, not sure how that works though...Yesterday he developed an infection in one of his burns just under the eye...The Drs. are managing that..He was released from hospital early..because he hasn’t been vaccinated...That was so wrong, but then I do understand he is COVID safer at home....

Because I left in such a hurry, I left my home open for my fur babies, they were so good but made a bit of a mess bringing some mud, dirt etc. into my home....so today it’s a cleaning up, washing day...keeping my thoughts busy...

I am so grateful that my son will be okay and he has a very caring, loving wife and son that have always and will always be their him.....he is walking around, eating, drinking and tinkering with bits and pieces...Work even sent him (at my son’s request) a smallish component (small electronic piece) that keeps the huge laser machine running which stopped working...he fixed it, they picked it up and the machine is up and running....

Thank you all for your caring support....

Bbff, I’ll pop over to yours today or tomorrow...loved the scones....Haven’t said it lately but I do love and care for you so much...💚🧸🤗🕊🌱👼....

I’m doing okayish, and sending my love, care and some hugs to everyone posting and listening here..💜🌹🕊🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy

That is good news about your son! You must be relieved.

It must be good to be home again and back with your furs.

I'm so glad for you all! 🙂🐶🐕👍

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

While I take a great deal of joy over the news of your son's condition I think the fact he was given a task and was able to fix the part speaks volumes not only for his recovery but the kindness and insight at his workplace. He wil feel so much more complete.

As for fur babies unsupervised, I've a feeling you got off lucky:)

Croix

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hanna, Croix, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...🤗..

Thank you for your caring posts...

My son is healing very well and I couldn’t be happier for him...I do miss them all so much...My care from afar doesn’t seem enough from me right now...you’re so right Croix, with all that you said...He needs to feel...um I wouldn’t say wanted...more like useful I guess...and able to be able to do what he was doing prior to the accident...

Just watching both my sons living in their daily family lives, really made me so sad, that I didn’t have what they have with their partner/wife and children...it really opened my eyes as to how much I have missed out on in my life...I am not jealous of their relationships...I am really so happy and grateful that they have found what they have...maybe I’m grieving something that I never had...idk...

Anyways....Croix...not that lucky, they decided that my bed was a good place to chew on some bones my neighbour and my friend Betty gave them....Unfortunately I couldn’t save the doona cover, I said my farewells to it yesterday 😁..It did have pretty swans 🦢 and orchids all over it...

My support worker visited me today unexpected...I dislike that, I need to know before hand that someone is visiting me....or I don’t answer/open my door...I always just keep the quietest I can until they go away....luckily after she knocked she announced herself to me....I was still in my pyjamas..😁 felt embarrassed and annoyed that I needed to change into my day clothes...

Hope everyone is doing okay and today was a good day for you...

Sending you all my love, care and hugs..💜🌹🤗...Oh and a butterfly 🦋 or 2 for dear Croix....🤧🤧

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

ps...for bbff...Special soul sister hugs 🤗, care🕊, and love 💖 dearest friend..🕊🌱

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

I too am glad your son is recovering.

I remember feeling what you describe. For me it was a longing to have that love, support, happiness other families had esp when I came from a nightmare relationship that didn't provide that. I think we do grieve that love lost or that we simply didn't have.

I agree, they should let u know when they are coming and not show up unannounced, I wouldn't like that either. It's common courtesy to let u know beforehand.

Ive just had another swim today. Feels good.

Hope you have a lovely rest of your day.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

There are times I get sad seeing others enjoying an aspect of life I missed out on... like you it isn't jealously I'm feeling... more a sense of loss... even for things I never had... I think it is ok to feel sad about it... as long as we don't let the sadness block us from enjoying the things that we do have to enjoy... however great or small...it is always lovely to read your posts as you are so good at finding enjoyment & sharing it even in simple things... like that cloud of white butterflies or your gum tree... even when you are down you still try to find something... I love that about you

Oh you poor thing... your furs must think of your bed as a safe space if they took their bones there... try to look on the bright side... at least they didn't bury their bones under the pillow or worse in the bed.

Hugs

Paws