Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Guest_1055]

Know I don't say much in here Grandy. But thought you may like a pot of virtual nourishing soup. And some flowers. In real life that is most likely what I would do.

🍲🌻🌷

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Tess, Katy, Shelly, Hanna and all 🤗.

Thank you for your very caring and supportive posts...They really mean so much to me...Having no one to talk to or listen too...Reading your posts helps so much...

Mental health came out on Friday and I assured them I am better here at home then in a weekend facility....they reluctantly agreed, and will be out on Monday to do another assessment....As hard as I tried not to...I rang the the local mh help line number that my Dr gave me....very early this morning....I needed to talk to someone...I feel so sorry for the lovely lady who I spoke to...,I think I done more crying then talking...I hold off ringing as much as I can..because they are based in the bigger town near me..and any conversation I have with them, goes to my Dr. and psychiatrist....It’s not anonymous..it’s how mental health... Drs... and the professionals work together out my way....Which is good in one way..then not in other ways...

I haven’t been this down for a long time....could be even a couple of years....Something has triggered something inside of me that’s woken up some kind of emotional storm in my head, that I can’t find my way out of...still hard to believe how one day you’re doing okay...then through the day or night something happens and your travelling down that unwanted path again....Been their...done that...

I had a look under my mower..one of the blades have turned inwards....I haven’t got the strength to undo and turn it around...geez...where is superman when you need him 😁....Hope that’s all the damage I done to it...Waiting for Betty’s son to come next weekend...he hopefully will fix it for me..

Deebi....Thank you for reminding me about the alphabet..It helps...Big love 💕 dearest bbff...🧸🤗..and bear hugs..

Thank you all for your time...and care...

Love n hugs everyone...your all very special people in my life..🤗🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I just popped in and saw your post. I am so sorry you are feeling so down dear lady! Do you know what has set this off? I'm glad you phoned someone to talk with.... what can you do that will help yourself dear Grandy? Can you sit and have a cuppa on the porch and hug your furs... go out into the garden... I don't know what will help you. Little Sam and I send you warmest softest fluffiest hugs and cuddles... you are not alone while people here do care about you very much dear Grandy... I will try to come by later, I am still trying to rest my back so can't type much.. but you know we are sending strong kind thoughts and wishes your way. hug hug hug oxoxoxo

[demonblaster]

Grandy love 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi sweety so good hearing from you. Been so worried.

Going to post this while its working having internet probs with computer again.

I'll try and get back

Love you very much dear friend.

🤗😚💜👀🗯🤝

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin 😆 indeed where is Superman when you need him. Why oh why you didn't think to summon superwoman...obviously I'd be there in a bolt of lightening....vrr 💨...vrrr...ready...set...and they're off...oh no Superwoman got entangled in her cape...looks funny seeing her hands pushing out to find the entry...oh my a few naughty words popping through her tangle...

Gorgeous remenber you had that so good realisation of not having to wait on hubby and you felt so incredibly good.
I maybe wrong but I think that was mania giving you some help and to know how it can be.

If so this is the down of it. I know IT didn't need anything at all like a trigger just my mind does it to bring on the deep depression and ptsd's etc.
This WILL pass Grandy love.

I know its the pits and so hard poor sweetyheart.
In the past at times what pulled me up a touch out of the darkest was being angry at beasty making me feel this way and used my energy in saying NO I'm not going to feel this terrible.

Good the alphabet helped. So glad 👍

Oh hun it's so so hard isn't it 🤗
The power our minds have but that goes the other way too.
Depression flattens our light thoughts of happy pleasure etc as we know.
If we can focus and use the negative energy to think of good things esp remind ourselves this'll pass. Thank goodness aye.

Beautiful you'll pull through.
As you know try not to go with negative thoughts, look for positives or and the opposite too.

Ok honeyheart oh I'll tell you a couple of things while its working.

We had a lovely lunch out at a beach area, you were with us looking at the diamonds sparkling on the water. We went for a decent but short walk yay. Saw a water lizard. Fed it a little.
Felt the wind on our faces. Beautiful it was.

We got a fair bit more packing done. Phoo huge job but getting there. Our bodies can't do much each session. Loven a place hoping to get. Good vibes but may just being positive.

Loven you too for that matter 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀🌈⚘

What colours are in your Rainbow darlin friend and a word starting with each colour please Mrs gorgeous.
Our missions to win over beasty brat! We got this ✊

☄

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass... here is another big gentle bear hug full of love & comfort...

I'm so pleased you rang the helpline... lass you don't have to battle this alone... I worry about you holding off calling... I do understand why... but perhaps if you try to think of it as the mh team would worry less about you if they knew you were reaching out more for help.... it might make it easier for you to ring.

It's good to hear Betty's son will be able to look at your mower... that is one less worry for you.

You have managed to choof beasty before & I know that you can do it again... little steps lass... Deebi's letters... bubbles with your furs... making a list of all the creatures who call your garden home... drawing ideas for your stick... watching the stars... just to name a few of the things to help chase beasty away.

Love & more bear hugs

Paws

[Paw Prints]

Hello lovely lass,

Just popping in to say hello & let you know you are in my thoughts....

As it is getting dark... we can soon rug up & take our cuppa's out to the verandah... we can pull up some comfy chars & settle down to watch for dragon trails (what others mistakenly call shooting stars) as they cross the sky to far off places.

Gentle hugs lass

Paws

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

i am so sorrry that you feel so down. I know how hopeless that feels. You did well to ring someone, crying is ok it releases lots of built up feelings. The cycles of feeling ok then down are exhausting. I hear how hard you try in life , many of us here do and have insight , but for each of us their is an aloneness in it all.

i am thinking of you and sending you good feelings. Are you getting enough rest and eating properly? These things are important as is getting out in the fresh air. But you know all that.

please take care of yourself, you offer so much to others, let us offer you some back.

love tess

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Grandy I sincerely hope dear friend today's been easier on you.

With luck you"ve been able to get some good rest it makes such a difference.

Sweety I'm having probs with my usual device so on the phone it's a bit of a pain but at least is working.

I"ll be keeping a close eye as always beautiful friend.

Always love and thoughts on waking through the day and night Huns. You"re the best.

PubAok precious love 😊

Sleep well and in peace dear Grandy and everyone.

Thanks for your beautiful post too at mine. So lovely. You"re amazing lovely lady XX

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Tess and all...🤗..

Thank you all for your kind words...

Rainbows are beautiful aren’t they...I get them very often right in front of my home...sometimes I get a double rainbow and the bigger arc is a darker colour then the sky...they really are very pretty....

Its good that your taking it easy packing your things up..I so much hope you manage to get the place you like....is it close to the area your in now?....serious helpers needs you...and seriously Deep love bbff....💚🧸🤗🌹..thats okay about posting..when your electronic devise feels better....also my 👀 and 👂 are on you..always..

Love the dragon tails Paws....haven’t been lucky enough to see one for a long time now...they look so beautiful the way they swim across the sky and very quickly as well...Nature really has some amazing things happening at times...I often think how amazing it would have been to be alive and live before houses were made... before industries...before cars were made....just living simply each day as it arises... the stars and moon lighting up the night sky after I sit and watch the sun set every night..instead of the TV...I wonder if mh was a problem back then...

I did bath both my furs today...they look smell and feel so beautiful...Gee I’m so lucky and grateful to have them....

I hope so much that you are all being good to yourselves...your such beautiful people that thecworld really needs...🌹🦋..

Love and caring hugs everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..