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Alone..Depressed..Sad..

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..
5,685 Replies 5,685

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dearest Grandy,

who cares about her porcelain teeth, try not to let that stuff bother you. You are one of the kindest people I know. That is much more important. And this is just the place to be putting about your downers, then we can help to lift you up.

Shame about the lawn mower, but it might be minor. Is it still under warranty? I’d rake it there and just act dumb. It might just be a bit of carpet that is stuck and can be removed.

I don’t post a lot but I think about you a lot I admire how you keep trying and having wins. Happy birthday too and I am glad that your sons rang you.

How are your dogs? I bathed all mine the other day and washed their beds so they are sweet. They are very loving little souls. I am going to try clipping the poodles myself! That should be fun.

thinking of you dear Grandy xx

tess

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Grandy,

Here is a big squishy bear hug lass...

I'm so sorry to hear you have been battling all alone... You are not complaining (besides even if you were that would still be ok)... you are simply saying how you feel... we are all on here to help each other & be helped in out turn... even sharing our downs helps others... either by helping them see they are not the only ones or by letting them offer support.

Lass you give so much gentle loving support to others... I am so glad you haven't cancelled your counsellors appointment... I think it will be good for you to have someone to talk to in person... especially as your supporter doesn't seem to be offering any real support.

I doubt mowing the carpet will do any real damage to your mower... carpet is soft so unlikely to do real harm... it will probably just be something simple like carpet threads tangled around the bit that spins... please don't beat yourself up over it... we all do things like that..

Be gentle with yourself lass... you are a very special soul who makes this world a much nicer place...

Love & more hugs

Paws

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy,

I'm sorry can only come by for a minute as I am still looking after my back after the steroid injection and I have to be careful how I sit etc, and typing at the computer is not very good to do... but I think that was quite funny about your lawn, poor you! I hope you can get it easily fixed, but we all do things like that when our mind is on something else!!!

I am sorry your support worker made you feel like that, she doesn't sound very suitable for that job at all, can you get somebody else?

Sending hugs - it's very wet here and little Sam's paws have been hurting him, I guess the rainy weather is making his arthritis hurt - so I've given him his dinner and medicine and we are tucked up on the couch for the night and I have a heat pack on my back.

I met a lovely lady today from Iraq who has no friends and she has invited me to a free multicultural lunch tomorrow, we talked in the park where i was walking little Sam for ages, such a nice lady,married but no children and my age.. and lonely. I won't stay the full time but I will turn up for an hour to the lunch - we all need one or two nice women friends.

Had a lovely music lesson... off now to keep my back upright and warm! Sending hugs oxoxxoxo

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hey beautiful Grandy πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© and everyone πŸ–

Ahh darlin you've been having a hard time haven't you poor love for a while now.
Pretty average isn't it trying to get the head in a good place. Hard when things are pulling you down to focus on goods but if we can it does help.

I'm really sorry hearing about pearly she doesn't sound much chop at all.
Geez people want to be paid but many don't step up and do their job. Annoys me especially because of the nature of that job. Caring is surely sposed to be high in the role. Pffttt what a shame darlin. Would be good if you could get someone else.

Hope you had a good chat to your councillor about her darlin and that you were able to shed some pain.
So glad you have her and it sounds like it was good timing tho I know you would have liked to put it off.

Sweety here's about talking about what's going on.
No problem at all what you said beautiful.
That's how we support eachother.
Tbh I'm glad you said how it's going so I and we know where you're at sweety love πŸ€—

Hopefully as the girls said it won't be a big with the mower.
No not stupid at all honeyheart just your minds distracted.
Beasties telling you stupid but [IT] xx lies. Challenge the negatives hun otherwise we believe wrong downs about ourselves.
How bout thoughts of good on you tackling such a big job. Everyone has incidents hapoen beautiful but when we're down it seems to be magnified aye. Try hun not to be too hard on yourself you've enough going on as it is.

How did your heart go lovey and your general health is it holding tho I imagine not after mowing. Bursitis? Poor girl.

You're such a beautiful person gorgeous Grandy you make a positive comforting difference in so many ways to so many. Thank you dear love ☺

Sending so many warm loving hugs...I wish Grandz 😒...πŸ—― and deep love πŸ’œalways dear friend. You mean so much to me Grandy pubAok yadimh awyis bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© lysvm

πŸ’œπŸ‘€πŸ€πŸŒˆβ˜„πŸ˜šπŸ€—πŸΆπŸ¦ŠπŸ«πŸΈ

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Tess, Paws, Hanna, Waves DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©....and all...πŸ€—.

Thank you all for calling in today...

I hope your right Tess & Paws..I can’t afford another new mower...just can’t believe how silly I was to do that....

Things are not going okay for me right now...my counsellor ended the session early due to my emotional state with a phone call to my Dr...who wanted me to present myself to emergency...I practically begged my Dr..to just let me go home...She did with my promise that I would call the mh helpline if things got to overwhelming for me...A couple of hours after I got home....my Dr. again rang me to check on me..and told me that mental health are calling out to my home tomorrow morning to assess me....

I can mostly handle my triggers fairly okay....but it’s just one after the other this past week dragging me back down into depression.😒..

Hanna..Awe that’s nice and I really hope you have a lovely time tomorrow at the multicultural lunch...I hope a lovely friendship develops for you...

Tess..it’s really nice to see you...I really hope you are doing okay...please call in whenever you feel up it...My dogs are doing okay..

Paws...I miss my former supporter a lot...and know it’s time I have to move forward...

I hope everyone enjoys their night the best theyvcan..

love and hugs ..

Grandy....🌜bbπŸ’šffπŸŒ›..

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Grandy,

Oh lass.... I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much...

I wish I could come over & sit with you in rl...

Have you tried going through your grounding boxes?... have they helped at all?

I know you often don't like talking to strangers lass... but I hope you can talk to the mh team tomorrow... they may be able to get you better in home support.

Try & get some sleep tonight...

Gentle hugs xxx

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey sweety it's incredibly hard isn't it πŸ€— Awful you feeling this way.

In this mind it feels like it won't change doesn't it... but you're right darl it does pass. It's getting through though that's the hard part. I know you can Grandy you have so often before and can again. Please hold in there dear friend.

I know it's uncomfortable for you although sweet that'll be another chance to let the pain out with the mh tomoz. With luck the release might help you feel a bit lighter.

Sweetyheart we're with you 🀝 talk anytime.

If it's ok we're staying over lovey.

Feeling so low it takes up our whole mind doesn't it. Anything at all to redirect your thoughts even for a few seconds is good.

Sweet can you think about the stars what they look like how you feel when you see them..

Hear the sounds of the birdies darlin. The dear things splashing in the bird bath cooling off having a wash.

Any letter in the alphabet. Think of something good or neutral. Think about it. Feel...colour...smell...taste (if it's food)...hot cold ...looks like.

Are you eating and drinking water. Another hard thing in these times. You need the energy to lift back up darls.

You are strong enough. Lot's of things building up aye hun.

Always with you Grandy. Please hold tight πŸ€— never letting go.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ€—πŸŒˆβš˜πŸ—―

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear Grandy,

i am so sorry that you are feeling so down, I know how bad that is and what it feels like to struggle out of it. But we are all here for you and hear to listen to your troubles and give unconditional support.

I like demonblasters suggestions, but I get how hard it can be to see the positives. I struggle with that too, but I try. Yesterday my positive was that I did some baking and made a raspberry ripple ice cream. It was yummy.

i have to rush off now, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am glad that you Dr is so caring and checking in on you.take care today.love tess

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Grandy

I understand the "getting lost in your head" thing that happened with your mower. I was walking my dog off leash once and got lost in my head, and when I came back I had no idea where the dog was. It's not ideal, but doesn't make you stupid, lovely woman x

I hope that someone nice and caring has checked in on you this morning, and that you're doing ok. Big, big hugs from me and Storm dog xo

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey beautiful just quietly popping in to πŸ‘€ and give you a big πŸ€— and πŸ‘‚ anytime lovely one.

I hope it's gone well with the mh team.

Always love and care dear friend.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ€πŸ‘€πŸ—―πŸΆπŸŒˆβš˜