Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna and everyone reading.🤗..

Thank you so much for your caring posts..
I still go to my volunteer job...It’s going okay...the boss pops in sometimes on a Tuesday...never comes out back to say good morning/afternoon or whatever...It’s disrespectful, but I’m over all that and really don’t care...

New supporter msged yesterday to say she was tied up and couldn’t come out yesterday afternoon for a visit..I am pleased that she let me know...

Thank you for the Cinnamon cake..sleepy tea..and your company...in my imagination it is nice...Your list are lovely memories we’ve had together...Your one very precious friend to me....Love goes sisterly deep into my soul..💚🦋🤗🕊🍀🌹....Needing a hug bbff? ...I do so here’s a big friendly bear hug.....it takes 2 to hug...🐻🤗..so I get one as well😁..

Sorry I’m not so chatty lately...been down for a week or so....have to ride it out I guess...until it dissolves...Which it always does...

Keep safe everyone be gentle on yourselves..I hope today was good for you all...

Love, hugs and my care everyone..💜🤗🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy and Deebi too of course..

Sorry to hear you've been feeling flat lately - is it because of the heart problem maybe? I'm glad you're still enjoying the shop and yes don't worry about that man... main thing is you get pleasant company for a while there. I've been good lately - it's nice to have the aircon there if I need it and reverse cycle ready for the colder months... bought some snug winter pyjamas today... so nice I got another pair... just Best and Less so cheap..

It's almost autumn... Sam was going to be clipped in big town starting with O next week but his fur hasn't grown enough so I put it back for another fortnight... that town will be looking pretty soon when the autumn colours set in...

You be gentle with yourself Grandy dear lady. Hugs.

[demonblaster]

Hey dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hannah & all other good people 👋

Dear Grandy you're going through tough times again honey...here's another soul hug beautiful and yes two are needed for a decent hug 😚

Ahh darl it's so hard isn't it. The feelings get dark. It seems like it'll stay like this but as you know it'll ease off. Rotten going through it tho.

Hun it can be a help knowing specifically what's pulling us down.
I can guess a couple of things and really do get it dear love 💗

What I'm thinking is can you gently guide yourself into the thoughts and think further on them.

I remember in mindspot they said ask ourselves if thoughts are likely to happen. Think it was more to do with anxiety but self talking through them is helpful and sometimes creates other thoughts to balance it all out as opposed to listening and feeling only the first thought.

Beautiful I was thinking a good look at our beautiful gum tree across the road could be a nice tonic for a change of thought and scenery. If you're not up to the veranda how bout a look into your memory how it looks and makes you feel. It's a good touch of meditation too I feel. Even a few seconds is less pain to have to endure.

And the lovely cows just cruisin eating and sleeping.
Remember how it felt when you saw them and the trees around them, hearing the birdies happily chirping and the wind gently rustling through the leaves. Can you feel that cool crisp feeling on your face when it's cool. That feeling of being alive and invigorated.

Please give our beautiful furs a big cuddle. Destiny and Eternity send them too.

Mr Deebi 😍 the furs 🦊🐺 and I thought we might vroom 🏍💨 along to stay a few days at yours hun how does that sound our darling sweetygirl ☺

Oh Grandy some awesome news...Mil doesn't have cancer...It's a nodule apparently...YAY! They did a tele call. The precious love what a great relief.

Please be kind and gentle to yourself sweet lady like you do with us.
You have a great deal of support carecand love dear friend.

Love you very much dear Grandy SSS 🤗😚
PubAok lysvm yAdimh and 🗯

Hold on tight sweetyheart 🤝 we gotcha

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🏍💨🤝😍🐉👀

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How are you lass?

I was so proud of you trying to go for a walk by yourself... just crossing the boundary of your property into the "outside" world is something you should be so pleased with yourself for managing.

Pedal machines... ummm oh yes I have one of those (she says hanging her head)... you have reminded me that I really need to pull it out & start using it.

I'm pleased for you that your supporter let you know she couldn't call in... a bit growly about her not coming though.

I hope you are feeling up to sitting on your verandah & drinking in all the magic that nature has for us... I've been enjoying watching a bright blue fairy wren & his brown mate using my birdbath... I love how they take it in turns splashing about whilst the other keeps watch..

A gentle hug for you & belly rubs for your furs

Paws

[quirkywords]

Grandy

I bet between us we could write a books out the politics of volunteering at an op shop,!

I say hello to everyone and at times I am not answered and some people are bossy but on the whole most are friendly and kind. I hope y ou have friendly caring people there.

You are always kind and understanding here and write posts with such empathy.

I hope you are practicing self care.

quirky

[Ggrand]

Hi Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Quirky...and all...

No..it’s not my heart that took me down...it is what it is..and I can’t change it...Since returning to the shop..I have stayed out back..because he said the day I left that my job is out back..I do not belong in the shop....That suits me fine..never liked being out front..

Paws..since I wrote the post with the pedal machine in it...I took it out and looked at it...that’s as far as I’ve gotten..(doing exercises in my head is much easier on my physical body)..😂...

Deebi...It is hard....you’re right it does pass..and it will pass....Something I read took me back to a place I don’t want to be....I did sit outside today..after I dismantled and disinfected my entire laundry to find a poor little mouse...that was not smelling the best...It kept me busy for a few hours...

I yawned 2 nights ago..and my jaw and ear hurt so much..my jaw went out I think...I couldn’t close my mouth properly and had to massage it until it went in..l.No use calling an ambulance..their are no Drs at our local hospital..and it’s over an hour to the next nearest hospital...anyway it seems okay..but so so sore..and achey...sorry for the whinge..my fur babies I’m sure are sick of me these last few days....

Hi Quirky...It’s lovely to see you here....I am sure if we did write a book, it would be a best seller...So many different characters we come across while working their...We are now to complete a “Code of Conduct” small course and test...I hope my boss has to take it as well..he might learn to treat everyone with respect...Quirky mostly I stay out back..sorting out the donations...Their is only myself and one other out back..It’s nice and quiet..

Good night everyone..I hope you all sleep peacefully..

Lots of love Deebi..💚🧸🤗.with squishy bear hugs..

Sending my love, care and hugs to everyone...💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I think we all have these blah days... I often think it's something to do with living alone and also with getting a bit older - I think we have days when we are a bit melancholy.... I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure the poor mouse didn't help things... you're very soft hearted which is a good thing to be!

I am glad you're still at the shop and out back would be nicer I think - away from customer service. It's good you have that one day a week to get out and chat with people.

It's a bit blah here today too, I think the med I am on makes me feel a bit sickish so I don't feel like doing much after the morning walk - I have a music lesson tomorrow so I have been doing some practice.. and I have the air con going as it's quite hot now.

I put little Sam's groomer off for another fortnight as he hasn't got fluffy enough to need it this week, it's a long drive to town with O and I'd rather do it in a couple of weeks when I might have enough money to buy something warm in the shops there for winter clothing!

I think it's officially Autumn today but it doesn't feel like it! The trees here are starting to turn though, already.

Sending you soft snuggly cuddles from little Sam oxoxoxo

[demonblaster]

Hiya sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 dear Quirky hi darlz ☺ and to everyone 👋

Hey gorgeous friend 🤗 that was a super good bear hug sending strength warmth and security dear lady.

I remember you not being comfy out the front but don't forget lovely one you had some amazing breakthroughs too like when you were making conversation with a few people.
Trooper in my eyes honey.

Darl I hope I did calender your heart test but could you plz tell me when in case I didn't. Ta 🙂
Glad you're coping ok with that lovey. It's big but I too hold a lot of faith in their knowledge and capabilities.

😂 exercise IS a lot easier in the mind. You're a classic girl. Always a great sense of humor.

Ahh something took you down darlin 🤗 Hope you're getting better sweetylove. Must have been heavy going poor love. You ok?

Oh Grandy the yawning sounds terrible geez you poor darling.
No never be sorry saying how you're going.
Oh poor pet I hope you have some good pain relief.
How awful to go through that.

Always Grandy you're in my thoughts dear SSS really love you gorgeous friend.
Please ubok always.
Need you Grandy always.
Did you see that star 🎇I was looking at wondering if you could see it?

Beautiful darling Mr Deebi 😍 said Hello Grandy and doesn't know what else to say. Ohhh he's so beautiful Grandy and such a cute too.
So easy to love the precious.

Sleep well my darlin. Geez I hope your jaws settling you poor love 🤗😚

Nigh nite darlinheart 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💤💚

[demonblaster]

Hey sweetyheart my calendar says Thursday for your heart procedure.

Hope today has some goods in it for you and that you're feeling a bit brighter dear friend.

If I don't see you before Thursday dear lovely lady wishing you the very best honeyheart.

A friend staying a couple of nights from tonight but should see you before 🤗

Heaps of love Grandy warmth and ultimate friendship. You da bomb gorgeous one 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🗯🤝🌞🦄☺

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Ouchy... your jaw sounds painful... I hope it is settling down for you...

You have done more with your pedal machine than me... you moved yours... I've just looked at mine 😂 Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if the exercise we do in our mind worked for us like doing real exercise does...

Lass I'm sorry that something you read has triggered you... I really hope it wasn't anything I've said... it can seem to be a slow road coming back from a dark patch... you can do this lass... it's good that you are managing to sit outside & soak up all of natures beauty...

Have you hugged your tree lately?... feeling it's strength.. hearing all the different sounds it creates... thinking of all the creatures it supports...

Big huggily hugs

Paws