Advice for Seeking Professional Help (Trigger Warning- Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, and Suicidal Feelings)

[Chloe_M]

Hey guys,

My life at the moment is really complicated, so I'll keep it brief:

• My parents are extremely strict- they don't let me do anything, when my boyfriend (who was also my best friend) broke up with me, they didn't know
• I was touched inappropriately last year by someone who I had known for years (not a family member, a peer)
• I suffered from depression(?) after the breakup for about 5 or so months (I don't have a diagnosis because my parents didn't know)
• I have stopped now, but I had been self-harming for around 2-3 of those months
• A couple of weeks ago, the depression and anxiety was so bad that I wanted to kill myself
• I am always anxious- I have a constant feeling of dread in my stomach
• I have panic attacks frequently that sometimes are for no reason- these involves sweating, shaking, hyperventilating and crying
• I really hate germs and am kind of obsessed with washing my hair and sanitising my hands
• A lot of my 'friends' judge me and some of them bitch behind my back
• I find that my anxiety is not at the front of my mind when I dance or when I am on this forum helping others
• My ex and I are friends again, but some weeks he ghosts me and flirts with random girls, and some weeks he acts like my boyfriend again
• I have only recently 'come out' to my parents about being anxious all the time
• I am going to see the school counsellor on Monday
• My parents are going to take me to a GP and get a referral to see a psychologist

I would like some advice on how to talk to a counsellor/psychologist and some general info about confidentiality and stuff like that.

Thanks guys xx

Chloe_M

[Chloe_M]

hi everyone

im struggling. the exams i am doing are draining me. classwork is boring. seeing my friends and being in big group situations is exhausting and scary. my best friend and i had a fight today, about something we joked about ages ago that now he is annoyed at me for it. emphasis on we joked about it together. im covered in evidence of self harm. my best friend isnt talking to me. im afraid this is the end of our friendship. no one cares honestly. i try to remind myself that everything is temporary- that nothing is forever but temporary needs to hurry the hell up because i cant go on like this much longer.

can anyone here me? or am i not real?

whats real anymore?

[startingnew]

Hi Chloe

Im sorry all this is happening. Do you think you could talk to your parents about how your feeling or perhaps your sister?

When you want to sh please try to reach out for some extra supports. Kidshelpline, headspace or lifeline can all help you work through those urges and counsel you on the spot to help you get through.

When are you able to start seeing your psychologist?

[Lici]

Hi Chloe,

I'm so sorry to read what you've been going through!

If your best friend is truly your best friend then he'll get over it. If not then he's not a friend and it may be best to start seeing him as an ex and move on. I know that doesn't sound very helpful but as a 39 year old I've had many people come in and out of my life over the years including people that I thought were "best friends". I found that no matter who it was, they all taught me something either about myself or life and that in the end the ones that haven't stuck around are not worth my tears or thoughts. It's the ones that stay that really matter in life. Please try to remember that.

Startingnew has given you really strong advice with the sh. Please try to talk to someone next time. I really don't have any advice there only to say please look after yourself.

Exams are exhausting, but they'll be over soon and you'll be on break and you'll have some time to relax. I've booked myself a holiday in the flinders ranges for my break so I have something to look forward to. I know you're too young to book yourself a holiday, but is there something you can organise for the break? I find having a reward for finishing exams really helps my stress levels when studying.

Hugs. You're not invisible. You matter and we care about you.

Lici

[Ggrand]

Hello Chloe,

Im really sorry your struggling, with exams and especially Sh, Please Chloe try your hardest to get get help when the urge to Sh come or distract yourself some way Starts has som really good advice.....Do you have a grounding pack made up that you can take to school school with you? If you want to make one or a few up please check out the ...."grounding what is it and how do we" there fun to make and you keep it handy if you need it at school or outing etc..

School exams will be finished soon, I think school holidays are not far away. Something that can distract you is looking forward to the school holidays and making some plans to enjoy them with your friends...

Oh by the way . Your definitely heard and definitely real, and important as well as cared for deeply here by a lot of people.. Please take care of yourself and be very very kind to you..your important to so many people that love and care for you in r/l....and here..

Kind thoughts and comforting hugs 🤗🤗.

Grandy..

[Chloe_M]

Hi all

I just wanted to thank you all for the messages of support. It brings tears to my eyes to see so many caring, beautiful people. Thank you ❤️

So today I saw my psychologist for the first time. She is very nice and she seems to be very experienced. She talked to mum and I together first, then mum filled in some questionnaires in the waiting room. We then discussed my current situation, she asked lots of questions and i gave lots of answers. When it came to SH, it was protocol to tell my mum. I then left and did tests in the waiting room while mum talked to her. She told my mum about the SH. As soon as mum and I left the practice I burst into tears. My mum comforted me. She wasn't angry or anything. She's going to tell my dad, then my mum and dad have to go and have a meeting with her soon regarding my treatment etc.

I feel much better now

Thank you once again 🙂

Chloe xox

[smallwolf]

Hey Chloe,

Seems like you have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride. I have been reading your story on and off.

My two are in exam mode at the moment. All you can do is study and do the best you can.

I am also happy that everything is starting (?) to work out with the psychologist and your family. I don't think that any parents would want to see their own children suffer. So to read how your mum reacted to you afterwards shows how much she loves and cares for you.

Just remember that things will get better. It will just take time. Please be patient and kind to yourself. Baby steps.

With peace and comfort,

Tim

[Ggrand]

Hello Chloe.

Its good that your psych is nice and you you like her, it helps to develop a trust in her her that helps your journey to wellness.

I was so pleased when I heard that your mum now knows of your s/h. As Smallwolf said, no parent likes to see their child suffer, and I could image that you feel like a huge weight has been lifted of your shoulders...Well done 🌹..

I hope today is a better day than yesterday...please Look after yourself..Be Kind and gentle to you..

love and hugs,

Grandy....xx

[Chloe_M]

Good morning Grandy and Smallwolf,

Thank you for the responses. My mum told my dad last night, he hasn't mentioned anything to me yet. I kinda hope he doesn't, i don't really want to talk about it.

My next appt is on the 23rd of June. My parents will have a meeting with my psych of the 25th. I then go back on the 7th of July.

x have a good day

Chloe

[Lici]

Hey Chloe (and everyone else 😊)

I'm so glad to read that things went well with your psychologist! And that your parents know about the sh and things went well there. I think your parents knowing will help you a lot. It's really important to have the support of your parents when you're young, even when you're older actually!

I'm glad to read you feel better too. Hopefully now that you're seeing a psych things will keep looking up 😊

Hugs

Lici

[startingnew]

Hi Chloe

Im glad you liked your psych. Really good actually.

Well done on telling her a out your sh. It was really brave of you but also must feel abit relieving now that someone knows and you can get some help.

Im also glad your mum reaponded the way she did and im sure she will support you the best she can. With her seeing your psych abit too they can ask questions about how to support you as well.

Hugs xoxox