Advice for Seeking Professional Help (Trigger Warning- Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, and Suicidal Feelings)

[Chloe_M]

Hey guys,

My life at the moment is really complicated, so I'll keep it brief:

• My parents are extremely strict- they don't let me do anything, when my boyfriend (who was also my best friend) broke up with me, they didn't know
• I was touched inappropriately last year by someone who I had known for years (not a family member, a peer)
• I suffered from depression(?) after the breakup for about 5 or so months (I don't have a diagnosis because my parents didn't know)
• I have stopped now, but I had been self-harming for around 2-3 of those months
• A couple of weeks ago, the depression and anxiety was so bad that I wanted to kill myself
• I am always anxious- I have a constant feeling of dread in my stomach
• I have panic attacks frequently that sometimes are for no reason- these involves sweating, shaking, hyperventilating and crying
• I really hate germs and am kind of obsessed with washing my hair and sanitising my hands
• A lot of my 'friends' judge me and some of them bitch behind my back
• I find that my anxiety is not at the front of my mind when I dance or when I am on this forum helping others
• My ex and I are friends again, but some weeks he ghosts me and flirts with random girls, and some weeks he acts like my boyfriend again
• I have only recently 'come out' to my parents about being anxious all the time
• I am going to see the school counsellor on Monday
• My parents are going to take me to a GP and get a referral to see a psychologist

I would like some advice on how to talk to a counsellor/psychologist and some general info about confidentiality and stuff like that.

Thanks guys xx

Chloe_M

[smallwolf]

Don't know if this helps or not...

but if you were my daughter, and my wife told me, I would leave it until you came and spoke to me. Otherwise I would ask "how are you going?" and hope for an honest answer. As I said in my previous post, parents don't want to see their own children suffer.

Also, I would think/hope this will make your relationship with your parents stronger. That you are able to be open with them about what is going on in your life (within reason) and vice versa. Putting aside the age differences (between you and me) this has occurred between myself and my parents.

Good luck if you have any exams still to do, and warm and comforting thoughts to you,

Tim

[Chloe_M]

Hi Tim,

I've been quite busy the past 2 weeks, I haven't been on the forums! Hope you're doing okay.

I saw my psych again on Saturday, we talked about eating and why i sometimes don't do it. Its to do with my anxiety. My parents are seeing her today, to discuss whats going on and further treatment etc.

Today we had a moving presentation at school by Beyondblue and the Black Dog Institute. It astounded me that many kids think mental illness is funny. I was horrified. And very upset.

Overall, my life at the moment is better. Anxiety is still bothering me, preventing me from doing things because i am very scared of what people think of me and i hate being judged. But, the black dog has been quiet and docile. I am starting to remember what happiness feels like.

🙂 Chloe

[Lici]

Hi Chloe

I'm really glad to read that you're feeling a bit happier and that things are going well with your psychologist!

Unfortunately, there's still so much stigma around mental illness and kids will pick things up from their parents. A lot of adults think that mental illness isn't real and think that depression is being sad and anxious is being stressed. When you have adults treating mental illness like that it will pass onto the kids. It's sad to see that there's still so many though.

Maybe one day with enough awareness and education people will realise that mental illness isn't a joke and is as real as anything else.

I really am super happy to read things are getting better 🤗

Hugs

Lici

[smallwolf]

Chloe,

Hi. As Lici said....

My daughter had to do an assignment of mental health this year (grade 10) and used some resources from beyond blue. So, at least one in your camp. For someone like myself though, who also likes to internalize things makes it harder for kids to understand also. Partly, for the same reason my parents don't want all the details, so I won't tell my kids everything. There are some things that I won't tell my wife for the same reason. One could go into details on such things, but it would be "too much information" and not in a good way. It is a fine balance knowing how much to tell.

I am glad that you are making progress and happier now.

On your statement about being scared and judged by people. You sound exactly like me. With that said, if I could talk to my younger self I would say "Don't give a rats about what other think. Do what you want to do!" and "Don't listen to them! Do what you want to do!"

Why?

If you followed any part of my story, you might remember me saying that I ticked the boxes on being a perfectionist, etc. These are cognitive disorders. And when I have time I try to work out why I am the way I am. And why I have negative thoughts. I was at my parents last Friday and I told Mum about some events (during high school) which I think would have an impact on or contribute to where I am now. Mum was somewhat shocked when I told her. And in some respect, I allowed these events to have a negative effect on me. And I should not allow that to happen. Those event back then, can effect me now.

So... do not worry about (or ashamed) what other think of you, or that you suffer from anxiety (or depression). Be yourself. Not everyone has your talents. Do what you want to do. You will succeed.

Another way of looking at it is like this... you are a generous and caring person. The world has enough assholes in it already, don't bother joining them. By yourself.

Tim

[demonblaster]

Hey darl and all ☺

Yes it's a shame there's still a great deal of stigma and stereotyped thinking towards MI. I'm very happy although it's slow it is happening that more educations around regarding MH issues.

You're not alone not wanting to be judged, I think 3 things people generally don't like is being judged, told what to do and being criticised.

Many people are sheep and follow to be in with the crowd, so laughing can be for a few reasons, good point Lici (hi darl ☺) about people following parents views, also ignorance people laugh through lack of understanding. There are probably a great majority that laughed who have MH issues un/diagnosed.

Agree the more it's openly discussed the more understanding and god forbid some may grow a tolerance bone.

What many don't understand is it's an illness like a physical illness. Unfortunately many people don't think much past a first thought or why things are as they are.

If we have a broken leg people have a fair idea of pain because they can see it and don't need to think much. MH isn't visible.

I do believe we're getting it out there and there's more than less people with some form of MH issues.

We're intelligent but ....

Sounding like things are going better for you and always keep in mind your achievements and easy way about you, you're very likeable.

Take care sweetheart 🤗

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Chloe,

Hello, I have been following your thread even if I don’t post.

I am so glad to read your last sentence.

Sometimes people laugh when they are uncomfortable and have no idea what to do.

Are you still dancing?

the time you take to post to others ang show them kindness and compassion is a so helpful.

Quirky

[Chloe_M]

hi all, and thank you for the posts 🙂

Tim thank you for that reply... very insightful and helpful. Sometimes when i freak out about being judged, I slow myself down. I think, 'so yeah, they are thinking about me and possibly judging me. But what does it matter?'

DB hello, haven't seen you in a while haha! I agree, many people would be uncomfortable or upset by the talk, and to fit in and feel better, they laugh. Also thank you for your last comment xx you're a likeable person too 🙂

Quirky hi! yes i am still dancing. after all im going through, i would never stop dancing! Thank you also xx

[startingnew]

Hello Chloe

I think everyones covered things nicely and im abit short on words atm but wanted to stop in and say hello and that im still here for you

Im glad to hear your still dancing 🙂

[startingnew]

hey Chloe

just popping in to see how your going?

[Chloe_M]

Hi SN,

I'm actually doing okay. Have been a bit depressed over the past few days but its on and off. Anxiety is the same as usual. I'm seeing the psychologist tomorrow.

Thankfully, today is the last day of school! I will be seeing all my close friends this holidays. I am however quite anxious for reports, which are distributed at 2:55.

Thanks for popping in to check on me!

Chloe x