Advice for Seeking Professional Help (Trigger Warning- Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, and Suicidal Feelings)

[Chloe_M]

Hey guys,

My life at the moment is really complicated, so I'll keep it brief:

• My parents are extremely strict- they don't let me do anything, when my boyfriend (who was also my best friend) broke up with me, they didn't know
• I was touched inappropriately last year by someone who I had known for years (not a family member, a peer)
• I suffered from depression(?) after the breakup for about 5 or so months (I don't have a diagnosis because my parents didn't know)
• I have stopped now, but I had been self-harming for around 2-3 of those months
• A couple of weeks ago, the depression and anxiety was so bad that I wanted to kill myself
• I am always anxious- I have a constant feeling of dread in my stomach
• I have panic attacks frequently that sometimes are for no reason- these involves sweating, shaking, hyperventilating and crying
• I really hate germs and am kind of obsessed with washing my hair and sanitising my hands
• A lot of my 'friends' judge me and some of them bitch behind my back
• I find that my anxiety is not at the front of my mind when I dance or when I am on this forum helping others
• My ex and I are friends again, but some weeks he ghosts me and flirts with random girls, and some weeks he acts like my boyfriend again
• I have only recently 'come out' to my parents about being anxious all the time
• I am going to see the school counsellor on Monday
• My parents are going to take me to a GP and get a referral to see a psychologist

I would like some advice on how to talk to a counsellor/psychologist and some general info about confidentiality and stuff like that.

Thanks guys xx

Chloe_M

[startingnew]

hi Chloe

its sounding pretty rough right now. did you call a helpline last night at all- they mightve been able to help you work through some things as well...

are you still feeling suicidal? are you safe?

no your right some people dont really get it, often their reactions to self harm and these sorts of thoughts however come from fear of loosing you and sometimes not knowing what to do to help which can make things sound harsh when they come out. have you thought about writing a letter to your mum explaining how much your struggling? i can express more in words and writing- maybe thats the same for you too? you dont have to meantion sh but explain how bad your feeling and how its affecting you but your struggling to talk about it but need support- would you be up for something like that? no pressure of course just a suggestion

did you have your headspace appointment yet.. i remember you making the appointment but i wasnt sure if you had already been yet?

hugs and know we are here for you xox

[Chloe_M]

Hi startingnew,

no I couldn't call a helpline, my parents were there and they take my phone at 7pm. I am no longer feeling suicidal but am still depressed.

not sure about the letter, but I can communicate much easier by writing things and having them read, due to the fact that if it's a distressing or emotional topic I'd probably start crying in the middle of my sentence.

My headspace appointment is on the 23rd. I'll let you know how it goes.

thanks for the hugs and support xx

chloe

[Losstt]

I'm glad to see you checked in chloe. I've been coming on to make sure that you were okay.

X

[Tams20]

Hello again Chloe,

I've seen you around on the forums, I'm glad I finally found your thread so that I could read up on your situation. I must admit I am totally shocked to read that you are still at school - from your input into the forums I assumed that you were older! You are obviously an intelligent and mature individual, your level of self-awareness is amazing. I'm so impressed!

Reading your initial post I could totally relate - I had a very similar experience at high school, it started when I was maybe 14 and was bad for 2 or 3 years. It's a difficult time of life! I also self-harmed for a while but I never told anybody what I was going through. I just hid myself away and got through it by absorbing myself in music (many, many hours spent playing guitar in my room) and studying. At least you have told your parents and friends so they will be able to look out for you - this is a very good thing. They seem to be supportive too, which is great if you need to talk to someone about what you are going through. It is better to seek help now... I'm 42 and have only sought professional help this year, after hiding my illness for my entire life.... whatever you do, do not be like me!

Am looking forward to seeing how you go with your Headspace appointment. Keep up the positive thinking!

Tams

[Chloe_M]

Hi Losstt,

Thank you! I noticed your post count has increased, great to see you on the forums as a helper as well as a 'helpee' (just made up a new word lol)

😉

I'm feeling better today... played soccer in the park... am still annoyed at my best friend for telling a bunch of people... but I've decided not to be ashamed of myself for feeling the way i do... #EndTheStigma and all that. if they've got a problem then that's not my fault.

I feel like people don't take me seriously because of my age- like at school i only told a couple of people what was going on because i knew that many people would be soooo judgmental about well, everything, but now the truth's out lol, and they are less judgmental and more caring than I thought. I'm quite young so yeah.

Thanks for checking up on me 🙂

Chloe xox

[startingnew]

HI Chloe


if your up for it the letter might be a good idea to really get out how you are feeling for some extra family supports. But that is up to you. Journalling is also really handy as well. You dont have to share it with anyone but releasing your emotions on paper can be good for the soul. You can cry or scream or whatever you like while writing it.
Good luck with your appt, I think once you start and have some more guidance offline and supports youll be able to cope a little more too.


Please keep doing the things you love too like your dancing, spending time with friends and soryr I cant remember what else you like doing but remember reading a list somewhere here..


how are you going today? Hows the school holidays treating you?

[Chloe_M]

Hi SN

im actually pretty good today, competed at an esiteddofd against dancers much more experienced and older than me. Placed 2nd in one of the sections (which had like 20 people in each one) so pretty proud of myself.

School holidays have been okay, I think that depressive session or whatever just finished, but apart form those 3-4 days were I was really suicidal I have been okay.

For future references I like dancing, reading, singing, shopping, hanging out with my best friend and listening to music.

thanks for the reply 🙂

chloe x

[Chloe_M]

Ooo also forgot I love musicals! Dancing plus singing plus acting equals my heaven!

i love watching them and performing in them 🙂

[monkey_magic]

Hey Chloe_M,

Placing 2nd is Ahmazing!!

U should be proud of yourself...

I'm happy for you that the depressive session has finished too...that's also amazeballs...well done, again you should be proud!

I find doing active things really helps me out too.

I've seen some of your postings helping/ supporting others around the forums too..you go gurl....

In case you're wondering I'm a female in her 30's that's been hanging around the forums for a while now...Also, I like your avatar... If that's you I'm jealous of your flexibility x

[demonblaster]

Hi Chloe I'm tagging, not sure when but I'll see you later

Hi guys