My uncle committed suicide last Tuesday.

[PinkDiamonds25]

Okay, so this is a bit of a yucky post..

I'm just feeling so confronted by all of this.

my father suffers from depression and anxiety, so does my older brother and so do I.

there seems to be more and more "family history" of it all popping up as we go on..

basically as I was the first one to be diagnosed with mental illness, at that time there was no recorded family history of it anywhere.

no one really understood my condition (which I am still struggling with on and off 5 years later), my family doesn't seem to take it seriously.

since my diagnosis, my brother contemplated taking his own life (he went so far to write a will) but seems to have recovered now, my father came out with some sort of psychosis and we had to have him involuntarily treated in a hospital earlier this year.. He's living with my grandmother now and was on the path to recovery..

until last Tuesday anyway..

his brother (my uncle) seemed to pretty much "spontaneously" commit suicide..

I just don't get it..

Last Monday he put my dad and his name down to play bowls for Wednesday, then had some kind of argument with his wife on the Monday night. By Tuesday morning he called in sick from work for the day, called his doctor and made an appointment, but suicided before the appointment.

What pushes someone to end it all so spontaneously?

the family is devastated and I just can't get it off my mind.. I wasn't really close to my uncle, I guess I'm more upset because the family is so upset.

funeral is this Thursday and I'm not sure if I can bring myself to go because the family is all pretty close except me. I feel like the odd one out.

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[white knight]

Hi PD, welcome to beyond Blue forums,

One option you have for your uncles funeral is to attend the service only and dont attend any subsequent ceremony like the cemetery etc. I have done this all my life so I dont prolong my grief for more than what I can withstand.

I took have lost a brother and uncle from there own hands. Also several residence from a defence establishment I worked at and many inmates of a prison I worked at.  To answer your question as to why their act is spontaneously made- we will never know.. We can guess however- but there are many theories.

What is important in my view is a number of things-

-remember that although your family is seemingly ravaged by depression you are all individuals and you likely will not take the same action

-that the majority of the population do not understand mental illness, some incorrectly claim they do, others think they know and dont and many misunderstand it. So dont expect many to join with you on your cause to educate

-Consider making promises or better still, pacts with your loved ones that if they ever contemplate harming themselves they will talk to a family member. Focus discussion on this topic on the hurt they would cause to others.

Finally, remember that not so long ago depression was kept in the closet and not divulged. So family history of what was then labelled "manic depression" was never established.

Take care and sympathy to your family

[PinkDiamonds25]

Thanks white knight for your kind words.

funeral was yesterday, it was a pretty emotional day but it offered some closure.

I ended up going to the wake because I had immediate family members pushing me to, it wasn't as bad as I expected although I did finally get the opportunity to try and clear the air with some family that I haven't seen in a long time.

 the timing just seemed right I guess,

now on the other hand, I feel quite anxious about the whole thing (I battle with anxiety quite often).

I think I think about things to much, 

[white knight]

Hi PD,

glad you got through the day.

Yes, we can over analyse things too much.

Take care.

[snapper12]

I maybe able to give some insight of why s person may commit suicide For msny years I have suffered from depression snd hsve often considered tsking my own life This is becsuse I get to a point whete everything is to much fot me to cope with snd I jist feel that I cant go on anymore Nothing against your unvle but the one thing that has always has stopped me from taking that final step has been my family and friends  I dont want tjrm to be going thru what you and many others have gone thru when a loved one has committed siicide Always remember there was nothing you or anyone else could hsve done to stop your uncle from doing whst he did It was good to hesr thst uou went to the wake and it out to be positive Hope this has helped

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.