my mum died and i miss her badly.

[shesawallflower]

Im 28 years old and my mum died VERY EXEXPECTEDLY with a massive stroke/brain annerysm in November 2017. It was quite confronting as my brother, dad and I sat with her for days in ICU on life support completly unconcious where we told we had to turn it off. It all went so fast and we just had to deal with what happend. Its been a year and a half but Im feeling like the grief is becoming a little harder. People who have/are experiencing greif. How long does it last? I know there is no right or wrong answer and I know everyone is different. But im just so mentally tired and drained from being so sad and not letting go. My boyfriend has been so supportive, I think its so unfair for him that I am so emotional all the time.

[Wishes]

Hi shesawallflower,

As a partner of someone who lost their mum just last year, don't feel guilty for leaning on your boyfriend. It comes in waves for my partner, and I love the fact he feels comfortable enough around me to show what he's feeling on the outside.

And it sounds like you have that same courage, so keep on leaning when you need and communicate so that you know that your partner is on the same page. Some days I'm dealing with different issues and my emotional tank is full, but that communication ensures no guilt and misinterpretation on his part. So sorry for your loss, you are a very strong individual, we're in your corner!

Best,
Wishes

[Summer Rose]

Hi Stelly14

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry for your loss.

My mum died in April this year, so I understand your grief. She lived on the other side of the world and despite doing my best to get a flight etc, I missed seeing her by one day. Our final goodbye was on the phone but at least she could hear my voice as she was transitioning. So, I understand how hard it is to forget the "bad things that happened."

I take it day by day and ride the waves of grief and "what ifs" as best I can. I framed a lovely picture of her and talk to her daily. I talk about her a lot with other family that loved her. And when I'm really sad I wear her housecoat around the house and somehow that's a comfort.

We both need time. It's getting easier and I know it will get even better. Hang in there.

Kind thoughts to you

[Ripcantrell]

Hi Shesawallflower.

It's an old post but here goes anyway. I lost my mum 7 weeks ago and I'm missing her terribly. I'm constantly wanting to turn back the clock to play out different times we did things. I hope this gets easier because it's pulling me under.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ripcantrell, Thank you for sharing this. We’re sorry to hear that you’ve recently lost your mum. It may be quite hard to express what you’re feeling, at the moment, but please know you’ve taken a really brave and commendable step in sharing here.   Are you connected with any bereavement or mental health support currently? This is obviously an incredibly painful time, and it’s really important you and your family are supported through it. In case it's useful you can find advice and directories on the Beyond Blue website here. We'd highly recommend talking to Griefline, on 1300 845 745 (6am to midnight AEST every day).   Please know that you're not alone with this, you can call the Beyond Blue helpline at any time, on 1300 22 4636. They can help you talk this through and will also be able to help you plan what's next so that you have that support in place.  We hope you're able to be kind to yourself through this, as you've been so kind in sharing your experience here. You never know how your story might help someone else, so do feel free to share more if you're comfortable to. We hope you can find some comfort and understanding on the forums, where other community members might be able to relate to what you’re going through.  Our lovely community members will be able to relate to some of what you’ve been going through and be able to share some of the wisdoms that have helped them. We’d also like to suggest starting a thread of your own if you’d like to share more of your story and your perspectives as this one is quite outdated. Kind regards,   Sophie M  

[KittyL]

Hi Stelly14,

I’m so sorry for your loss. 

it hurts even just reading that so I’m sure it’s been really difficult for you especially it’s been always just you and her all the time. While I can’t share what you can do to make it easier, I’d just wanted to write you to let you know people care about you (even me as a stranger), and you have to look after yourself (as your mum doesn’t want to see you too sad or affecting your health too).

take care

Kitty

[KittyL]

Thanks Summer Rose for sharing your experience, I like the idea of keeping the photo of the person who passed away and talk to her/ him often and wearing the coat would make you feel extra warm.

thanks everyone for sharing all the experiences, and comforting each other. I find it peaceful when reading all these over the grief.