I’ve lost two friends to suicide this year

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi everyone. I lost a good friend to suicide in April. I recently found out he took his life on my birthday. Then I found out on Friday night, another old friend has taken her life. This has been a tough year. It has been hard also as I live alone with no pets. My solace has come from staying busy with my online courses and staying in touch with Church people. But it has still been hard. Finding out about my friend on Friday night was a real shock as her life seemed so good and successful.

[Sophie_M]

Hey FaithHopeLove, it's great to see you reaching out on the forums today. We're very sorry to hear about the passing of your two good friends this year. We can't imagine how upsetting it must be to hear about this happening. It is good to hear that you have been able to stay in touch with your supports from the church and that your courses have been keeping you busy. Please know that if you'd like to talk about these feelings there is support available to you.  You might find it helpful to speak with a counsellor from an organisation called Griefline on 1300 845 745. They provide grief and trauma support services for individuals and aim to work with experiences of grief, loss or trauma and associated feelings such as loneliness and isolation. It might be worth finding out what other supports they can offer you. You are more than welcome to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. We hope these resources are helpful to you and please do keep in touch here on the forums.  

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks. I called the Grief Line number but it was busy. So I called the Beyond Blue Line directly. I realised something. I have just completed a Diploma in Counselling and I am half way through the Cert IV in Mental Health. And I realised that I have been relying too much on my own Counselling skills to “fix myself”. I will now take a step back and allow myself to reach out to others without feeling like that makes me less of a Counsellor person myself. So that is the realisation that came from me calling the Beyond Blue number and I mentioned that to the man I spoke to and he said that’s a good realisation to have.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

I cannot imagine what would be feeling after hearing about these losses. I am sorry to hear about the passing of your friends.

There are a number of the support organisations that you could contact to find ways of the dealing with the grief and other feelings you might be having at the moment. I just saw Sophie_M mentioned Griefline.

I noticed you mentioned about keeping yourself busy with church people. I assume you have mentioned to them what happened?

if you would like to chat some more here, I will listen.

You could tell me about the online courses you are doing if you like.

Tim

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi Tim. Thanks 🙏 😊 Yes my Church friends are aware. But more so about the first friend gone, I probably should check in with them again regarding the second friend gone.

I finished a Diploma in Counselling in July It was pretty interesting and I got a lot from it. But yeah, as I just realised we are all human even people such as Counsellors and Psychologists and Psychiatrists. Even these professionals need their own de briefing. That’s something our Counselling teacher kept saying, the importance of own self care.
The Cert IV in Mental Health has been interesting. A little triggering at times but I am glad I have stuck to it.

[smallwolf]

On the course... Good on you! I completed the same diploma in Aug this year. I had a few reasons for doing it myself. One of those reasons was to find out more about myself and I did. I see a psychologist etc on a regular basis and the modules in the course helped me to see and process other things I might never have noticed. So I guess that with your diploma you would be aware of the grief process and everything else around it.

With my own story... I try not to shy away from it. Talking about it is helpful, especially if there is someone else outside of a therapy I can talk you.

As an aside, I am a parish admin as well and the priest at our church checks in with me on a somewhat irregular basis to make sure I'm ok. But that is another story.

[FaithHopeLove]

Congratulations to you for finishing that course too!!

That’s nice to hear that the Priest is also helpful. I am so happy to hear you have that extra support.

[smallwolf]

hi again, wondering if you write a journal? A way of writing out your thoughts and feelings on about what happened to your friends.

I was listening to a podcast with Don Meichenbaum, one of the founders of CBT and he said (probably half tongue in cheek) that he does not mind if patients do not turn up as he can do therapy on himself. I won't admit to going that far myself, but I journaled / argued with myself on paper.

[FaithHopeLove]

Hey. Yes I do journal at times. I enjoy it. It’s good to be able to look back on previous entries. I also used to do a prayer journal. Might be interesting to go through them at some point 🙏😊

[smallwolf]

Have you heard the story of footsteps in the sand?

I have felt on the outer in "church spaces" or a variety of reasons so I would to ask you thins question...

Has your faith has helped you in dealing with the stressful events of this year?

Do not feel compelled to answer it. Lastly, how you are feeling about the loss of your friends at the moment?

Tim