Feeling alone... Now realise I'm not the only one

[jtz]

After reading some posts this morning, I realise I am not alone in my depression. Today has been a bad one, I now see many of you out there, like me, are still struggling with loss years later. I lost my mother to suicide; my partner in a car accident; and recently one of my closest friends. 3 women I was very close with. Guilt. Anger. Questions of why me? Weren't you happy enough taking one special person from me? Why three? Some days I cruise along, smiling, working, not sharing what is happening in my head. It's not cool for us guys to show emotion. Suicidal thoughts? Sometimes. Anniversaries are always so hard. Birthdays. Christmas. I randomly came across this site today. After reading many posts with others describing their struggle to deal with the loss of loved ones, I can now see I am not alone. I feel for all of you struggling with the horrible emotional roller coaster we ride every day. Is there a group which meet together to talk these things through? I have tried the GP. I have tried the shrink. Sometimes I just need someone to listen to me talk and cry out.

[jtz]

Back in the news today, a well known, Sydney based, former Olympian is again talking about his struggle to admit to friends and family, his homosexuality.

for many years I have felt the same way about my PTSD and depression. It was uncool to show a weak side; men don't cry or show emotion; I continued on for years showing a fake smile on the outside, while struggling within.

no more. 

today I have decided to be open and honest about my struggle. I am not going to hide. If I lose friends or if I lose some of my clientele because they know I have a mental illness, they were not true friends or I don't need their business.