dear Monty-Finn, firstly I'd like to welcome you to the forum.
My sincere condolences for the loss of your friend, as it's way too young for a person to pass away and the absolute grief that you are now trying to cope with along with and your dear poor mum who also is suffering from this horrid illness that takes so many lives, the lives of people who have been so successful and dearly loved by by all.
There are no answers as to why all of this can possibly happen, but we want answers and try to search and seek from whomever, but what is said to us still doesn't satisfy our mind, so we struggle on, only hoping and wishing for the very best.
Your undenying love and care for your mum is of prime importance, but sometimes the pressure will overcome you at certain points, but it happens to us all, however in a situation like what you are in it appears to magnify, and this is of no fault by you or your dear mum trying to lift the load of you just a bit, because I'm sure that within her she does know the pressure you are under and wants to try her hardest to help, but then you step in and get a little bit cross (in a nice way)with her, so this could then increase your feeling of annoyance.
Your friends, family along with you could be deep in depression, I don't know and can't presume, but what has happened is tragic multiplied by 10, but you have to keep going on, because your dear mum is slowly suffering from this insidious disease.
When people say be 'strong for your mum', well these people are so aloof from reality, and should not be involved unless they want to help you, otherwise ignore everything they say, because the effort you are doing is not only very difficult, but excells in care and love for your dear mum, and she knows this, just as all of us do.
I haven't mentioned your work in this reply, but may when you reply back to us. L Geoff. x
