Work colleague argument

[purpleg]

I have had an argument with a colleague. I am female, they are male. I work in a school environment. They turned on me after I called out to them to close a door and not to let students inside at lunchtime (as per procedures) . They raised their voice and said they don't like the way I talk to them, are sick of getting emails from me (I think I have sent two). I felt it was really nasty and unprofessional; also it felt one-sided (I don't recall saying much).They are a teacher, I am not. At the end of the tirade they said they were taking this to the Principal. Other colleagues heard the argument and have been supportive. I am not ok, won't be going to work tomorrow and not sure I want to go back.

Would love some positive comments, I am feeling at an all time low.

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

Welcome here to the Forum. Frankly it sounds to me like a case of bullying. They were in the  wrong to leave the door open, when you asked him to close it he tried to turn matters around so you appeared at fault.

The fact other colleagues felt you were in the right can give you strenght. Being bullied is hard. Bullies prey on the fact that some are more sensitive than others and exploit that to get thier own way, or simply to feel better about themselves. His actions would reinforce his feeling he can do no wrong.

Do you think you could go to work tomorrow and have a chat with the principal while you are there?  To want to stay away is natural, however it allows the bully to get their way, and may make life more difficult for you if you are ever in a similar situation in the future.

If it seems to much then maybe paving the way by ringing the principal first may make tihngs easier.

If you find an ally in th principal  then the problem will diminish. Of course if they are unhelpful maybe then is the time to think about if the job is worthwhile.

Both staying home and going to work have their downsides, however if you remain at home or do not ring you may be giving away an opportunity.

Is there anyone at the school who you can look to for support, a friendly colleague perhaps? Facing this alone is extra hard.

If you would like to let us know how you get on that would be much appreciated

Croix

[Guest_33564481]

Thank you for your reply. Your comments help a lot

[BlueLily]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your awful experience at work. I want to clarify, is it multiple people that you had the argument with or just one male? 

Croix have provided lot of useful tips. Additionally, I usually document the incident, just write down what happened at the time step by step while my mind is fresh. Because as time goes on everybody forgets the actual incident and then it could allow room for other party to make up a blame.

Another step I usually follow is thinking back on other people's perspective to see if I really did raise my voice or actioned irrationally. If I did then being the bigger person and saying a simple sorry tends to solve lot of the tension between colleagues.

It can be mentally exhausting when you are being bullied so I understand you wanting to skip the work. But you can make few attempts as Croix mentioned to stand your ground and make sure similar issues don't happen moving forward. Otherwise it's leaving room for it to happen again. 

Let us know how things go...