Nothing is interesting

[Phoenix99]

For the past 4 years I have been in bed doing nothing and staring at the wall. I am not even interested in going on my phone or watching tv. Everything in life is boring. I am completely uninterested in everything in life. I only get out of bed if i have to go somewhere such as work or an appointment. Then I go straight back to staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. I am becoming suicidal. I used to take an antidepressant but it made it even worse so I stopped. Now I also have apathy since starting and stopping the antidepressant that has not gone away. Every time I go to do something I don't get anything out of what I am doing. No response in my brain. What is the point in doing it then? All I feel is bored no matter what I do. 

[Happylife]

Hello Phoenix99,

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It can be very frustrating when you are disinterested in everything you do.

You mentioned 4 years, that's a long time. If I may ask, have you spoken to your GP or a mental health professional?  They may perform a physical exam and tests to find out the root cause that might be contributing to how you've been feeling.

You can try taking small steps, doing different little things each day, challenging yourself to learn or do something new with no expectations. Also, try planning small things for the future. If you have something to look forward to, that can help you cope with the lack of interest you might be feeling.

Exercise also really helps, even if it is just walking.

Hope you feel better...

Take care

Happylife

[Fiatlux]

Hi Phoenix99,

I can definitely relate to being uninterested in everything or loosing interest in things I enjoyed in the past.

When I was very ill earlier this year, I definitely lost interest in even listening to music which was very therapeutic to me.

I have experienced the same issues when coming off antidepressant medication. It can make you feel worse before you have the ability to get yourself better.

I have been very stubborn about antidepressants in the past as I thought they were giving me a false sense of happiness when in fact I had very little good going on in my life. But they helped me get through some very difficult and dark times. They just numbed me to the emotional pain that I was feeling. 

I have read that some medication can alter the way your brain works and processes feelings and emotions. I was advised to not stop taking the medication suddenly without consulting with a medical professional and set a plan to wean off them or try something else.

I understand that feeling of not feeling positive emotions from activities that should bring you joy or positive feelings. I even lost my ability to taste food and enjoy eating. I had no appetite.

I hope you can get to see your GP or someone who may understand what you are feeling and help you get back to feeling better, good or even normal again. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[therising]

Hi Phoenix99

I've found that it can be hard to feel a variety of emotions while experiencing a serious and depressing lack of energy. While it may sound simple to say 'Increase the energy and experience more emotion', in no way is that easy at times. It can actually be far from easy. 

If you could define emotion a 'energy in motion' or 'e-motion', there's mental energy, physical energy and I suppose what you'd call natural energy or basic energy. So, for a start, you're dealing with 3 different types that can be highly interactive. 

Mental energy is along the lines of the energy contained in how we think, the energy contained in certain belief systems we have (from invigorating beliefs through the depressing ones), the energy contained in our inner dialogue and so on.

Physical energy is along the lines of the energy contained within our body, such as with the energy of our biology and chemistry. There are energy systems such as the nervous system, muscular system, endocrine system, cardiovascular system and so on. We can feel the energy of those systems as side effects. For example, you can feel your nervous system ramp up under stress or you can feel your muscular system under tension. The chemistry side of things can be just as complex, if not more complex. Dopamine levels have to be high enough to be able to feel as 'exciting'. Serotonin has to be plentiful enough to be able to feel as generating 'happiness'. The list of chemicals inside of us is extensive. Some chemical levels can become depressing. From my own experience, a depressing level of B12 is something that can really mess with a person. A depressing level of sleep apnea, that prevents a lot of the right chemistry from being processed, can also mess with a person. The chemistry in the right med for us can help. In the wrong med it can make no difference or make things worse.

Natural or basic or what some might call soulful in some cases is about simply looking at things from a non biological or chemical perspective. Who or what brings me down? Who or what inspires me, energises me or raises me? Do my short term or long term goals feel exciting or can I not feel any excitement in them? Are they not exciting enough? Are there any key goals there to begin with, to be able to feel? Is my inner critic just too depressing? Do I need to work on channeling and exercising some part of me that is going to lead me to feel more? Is my environment boring, just not stimulating enough? Do I need to improve it, change it or get out of it in order to experience some difference?

If we're born with the ability to feel, this also means being able to feel what's depressing. I suppose you could call it the dark side of feeling or sensing (being sensitive), as opposed to the bright side. As a gal who's faced depression at different stages of my life, I've come to learn that there are 2 sides to the 'feeling' coin. Definitely not a fan of the dark side as it's incredibly challenging, to say the least, but it is always telling in some way.