Hi LastChance
Your wife's blessed to have you on her side when it comes to care and attention. A lot of partner's out there will sit back and hope for the best when it comes to their spouse 'snapping out of it, so that things can go back to normal'.
I think there are a number of reasons for why someone may not acknowledge depression as being a factor in their life. Perhaps
- They may not recognise the signs of depression, in themself
- For them, there is some stigma associated with the word 'depression'. Maybe they've been led to believe depression is a weakness and it indicates they're 'weak' or 'failing' in some way
- If you can imagine a depression as being like a deep well in the ground (an actual depression), a person may not recognise themself having gone into it but as it gets deeper and darker, it's only then that they can begin to really feel it. Others can spot them having gone in. I've actually had a couple of people in my life, on occasions, express their fear I was in or going into a depression. On such occasions they were right and I just never saw it. If it wasn't for them, I would have continued going deeper
Just a few reasons amongst many. With that last one, it's basically through my own experience that I've come to define it in that way, as a kind of well below ground. I think we can be flying high, really happy and excited about so much in life. We can be grounded, not flying high yet not depressed. Then there can be a lack of joy, happiness, excitement etc etc, while feeling no satisfying sense of grounding (which can point to a depression). So, basically sky (feeling high), ground (feeling grounded), below ground (feeling a depression). Each has a feel to them. Of course, flying high with an occasional sense of grounding is ideal but things, unfortunately, don't always work that way. Btw, with that proverbial 'light at the end of the tunnel', with the well scenario it becomes the light at the top of the tunnel.
I think being 'too grounded' can be a problem sometimes too. If someone's always been a bit of a high spirited excitement seeker or adventurer, for example, settling down (to ground level) can feel somewhat satisfying and safe yet that kind of life can lack the kind of highs they used to thrive on. There can be a fine line or brink between being constantly grounded and going into a depression.
Perhaps the ultimate question, when someone is too grounded or depressed, 'How do I raise them?'. It sounds like you are trying to raise your wife, to be more conscious of where she now finds herself. Hard to pick the reasons for a depression sometimes. Does a person need more highs and inspiration? Do they lack the kind of vision they need, in order to see a happier way forward? Could it be a low energy issue?
