Dealing with Computer and Gaming addiction

[ScottakaDean]

Hi,

I've been struggling for a long time with depression and anxiety, it's recently escalated into using the computer, gaming, and getting lost in the scroll to avoid the negative thoughts and anxiety.

I'm not sleeping, until I crash and can no longer stay awake, then I'm out for like 12hrs, then up for 30hrs, and repeat.

I guess it's not really an addiction thing, but the avoidance and finding distractions from my feelings.

I'm in a pretty rough place right now, my job is in jeopardy, my partner had just broken off our relationship, though we still live together until we can find new accommodation. I've got no friends, I've got some healtg problems (apnoea and overweight) and I generally feel pretty worthless.

It's a lot, I know, but I want to get better. 

I think the computer use needs to stop, I lose myself when I go on there, play all night without regard to even trying to get back to bed.

I don't really know what I'm asking for here, I'm not sure if I've got what it takes to stop this spiral descent and I'm worried my whole life is coming crumbling down.

I just need help, and I'll take anything.

-Scott.

[David35]

Addiction is just about avoiding painful feelings. So we substitute something else in its place. I had an alcohol addiction and went to AA. But then I noticed the attendees substituted the addiction of drinking alcohol for attending meetings. They were still living out of fear. Addictions are also a form of procrastination, avoiding dealing with real issues.

Maybe try just getting outside for a but, de stressing, letting your mind untangle itself. Gaming can make you hyper sensitive to everything and everyone and it's not healthy for long periods of time. It can also be very isolating too.

[therising]

Hi Scott

You've definitely got a lot going on at the moment and it's understandable how the gaming can offer you a sense of peace, some form of satisfaction and perhaps some other feelings too.

Wondering if you're being treated for the sleep apnoea. I imagine you can relate to some of the side effects of sleep apnoea: Fatigue, depression, brain fog, memory issues etc. Some side effects I had no idea about until I was treated myself. Can remember saying to the woman treating me 'The craving for junk food is overwhelming. I virtually have no energy to do anything other than go to the shop and buy rubbish'. She mentioned how common it is to crave high energy foods and/or caffeine. With poor quality sleep (next to no energy restoration), the body becomes desperate for energy in any form it can get it. The way she described things to me left me surprised. Perhaps the most concerning part came down to what happens when the body is suddenly shocked into breathing again (over and over each night) and what that does to our nervous system and other systems in the body. So, you could add nervous system issues to the list of side effects.

Sleep apoea aside, it can feel so soul destroying when you just can't find any of the right things that will make all the difference in turning life around. Even with good quality regimented sleep, there can be the feeling of 'I just don't know where to go from here, what the right path looks like'. Some weeks back, it was my brother who said to me something along the lines of 'Without a goal or goals, you'll feel like you're going nowhere. The goals don't have to be huge but they do have to be there so that you can feel a sense of progress and satisfaction as you move toward them. Medium or long term goals, 5 or 15, doesn't matter. What matters is that you start identifying them'. Am reading James Clears' 'Atomic Habits' at the moment. He mentions how while our goals relate to the destination, the habits are what forms the path towards them.

As I say, the goals don't have to be huge. For example, one of mine is to make sure I put in the oral appliance (for SA) before I fall asleep at night. I don't always manage it due to that catch 22 factor of being so tired from not having worn it previous nights that I fall asleep without putting it in but when I do achieve that goal, I wake up in the morning with some sense of satisfaction. Sometimes the goal can simply be about gaining the tiniest from of satisfaction for a start. A bit of a dopamine hit in the brain is good for the soul.