I was at work when the foreman drove in too fast after forgetting he'd had me get the apprentices to wash the painted garage floor with degreaser. He used his 4wd and my legs to break the tyre of car I was working on from the rim of wheel. My wife was at home cleaning up the house for sale as we'd purchased a new one up bush. A good way to escape the '89 interest rate of 23%.
Wife had to drive 50km to visit me after busting gut working while pregnant and looking after two toddlers. This made me particularly popular and began to appear to her like I was away on holidays while she did all the work.
A couple of my mates and me in plaster up to the groin took our worldly possessions to the new place, wife and kids moved up while I went back on holiday in rehab hospital. The day I was to be released the surgeons took a look, said bone graft. Sent me to another hospital, it was loose ligaments; sent me off to catch up with wife and kids in absolute agony. 'sign of weakness???'
Most of the hillbillies in the town thought so and I suffered, took loads of crap to try to deal with pain and got depressed. When I got out of psychiatric hospital where I had been diagnosed with hep C, no doubt in my mind a result of the operations on my legs. The townsfolk with open friendly arms banned me from all eating, food and drink places. Kindly offering to let me drink stubbies only; in the bar which cleared when I tried.
Ran home to mum, forgot she'd paid out a mortgage I had cos I was so screwed up and lost my 5 acres of land in that horrid town. The lands now worth close to $500,000 but banks only have to keep records for 7 years, I'm screwed. Now friction with Mum over the land, wife divorced me cos scared of hep C. She didn't notice she hadn't picked it up off me in 22yrs marriage. And that is how I got depressed.
Is it an illness?? It is when all the stuff ups go around and around like a CD jumping from one track to another with no solutions. We know we aren't weak. Some think we want to have some quack fry our brains with electricity, we know its cos we're desperate to get rid of the CD, most people think we're forced to do it as punishment for being messed up. I won't let them do it to me, though I'm tempted at times. Best method to shut up the CD was by letting it all out in the mainstream, not bottling it up; HAPPY FOR FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, Thanks so much to the wise psychologist I didn't even notice him tell me. WOW!!!
