what is "normal"?

[Nakka]

so after a s*** feeling day(don't know how else to put it) I was laying in bed thinking as I do.. and I started thinking to myself about my depression.. well debating to myself  "hey I feel normal at the moment"  "wait how can you feel normal after feeling so shit for so long.?, thats impossible your not feeling like that, your making yourself think you're feeling normal"  after debating with myself like this but worse for awhile (strange I know)  I came to this conclusion of "you make up these feelings your actually fine"

Which left me woundering... why would I want to feel this way?...do I really feel this way? Am I actually normal?.. .maybe this is what normal is? Iseriously feel like im going crazy. Its like my anxiety (and the over thinking tthat comes with it) messes with my brain its so Frustrating. Im left feeling like an idiot.. confused

I dont tthink anyone could make me as confused/angry/un-understanding as I can make myself.

^^^long story put short btw.

So my question is what is "normal"? 

[phil350]

Hi Nakka

I have similar thoughts. I often think I am not depresses just realistic. My life sucks by anyones standard so I believe my feelings are justified so are they normal? Who determines what is normal?

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Nakka,

I'm sorry to appear obtuse (but I am 120kg, Lol) but I wondered if I could answer this with an example ? (OK, I'll let the moderators decide).

In hell they feed people but give them knives & forks that are six foot long.  Try as they might, it is impossible to get those large utensils in your mouth with food on them.  Everyone is cranky.    In heaven they have the same size eating tools and are happy, supportive and loved.    The only difference is that the folk in heaven help each other to eat.

So, for me, being normal is helping someone else.  When you do a kind gesture you brain is denied the over thinking, the angst and the self perpetual doubt.  You are just in the moment.  LIke you would be if you  had to suddenly save a child from running across a road in front of a car.    The real you would exist despite the depression and lock down.  If only for a few seconds.   Maybe it's the same with your potential good moments - you just feel right for a few seconds.  Period.  Some depressives, when recovered, will still have lingering negativity.  LIke they don't deserve to be normal.  We are that used to being hard on ourselves.  Sadly.

Adios, David.

[DonnaM]

Yeah, defining normal is just about impossible, I think, but what you're thinking and feeling ain't it 🙂     I'm bipolar, so I've long forgotten what normal feels like. I wave at normal on my way up and on my way down again, I never stop there for a break in between.

I'm new here so I'm not familiar with what, if any, treatment you're receiving. If you're not being treated, I'd say you need to be. If you are, what you're taking and/or what you're going don't seem to be working so I'd say you need to talk to your doctor about trying something different.

Don't put up with feeling crap all the time. You don't deserve it.

[geoff]

dear Nakka, what is normal, I think that it depends on the person, what you feel is normal might not be the same as someone else.

It's like looking at a painting, you may love it while someone standing next to you hates it, so 'being normal' differs so much.

Personally I believe that if you can justify and think through this feeling is great, because when we have depression everything is black and all we think of is negativity, there is no possibility of feeling 'am I normal'.

I know that you have had a terrible time, so my heart goes out to you, but I can see a glimmer of hope and recovery, because you can rationalise your thoughts, however if my psychologist said to me that I am getting better, I didn't want her to say this, because I knew that there were days that I felt like s-----t, so I felt naked, lost and felt that she didn't want to see me any more, but I didn't want that, because I didn't want to be dumped into the real world all by myself, I was too fragile.

Everybody feels their depression in a different way, so no one can tell you that you are cured, that's impossible, the only way you feel better and have overcome depression is when you know that this has happened, and only you will know, not someone else telling you so. L Geoff. x

[Nakka]

Hey thanks guys, phil and david :)

 All very good points,  no one can really define "normal" I suppose as we are are normal just in different ways... I was just having one of those times when I confuse myself (happens a lot sadly) .

Thanks donnam.. unfortunately no im not on anything bar from all the things I abuse (self medication) .. my emotions are crazy and I struggle to understand.  Its like I go from crazy anxious to dangerously depressed to both.. but then I am overly happy like adhd child. Its hard to explain?( <--this is in weeks-months spaces btw lol not a day thing hard to explain via writting? :p).. this is why I get confused because iit's always changing so I never know if im imagining it or not?... I know that sounds Crazy and thats a small part of why I havnt seen a gp..

AAlso thanks Geoff I always try to rationalize everything but sometimes it's to difficult, I dont want to think or feel this way so I go into my head for answers if that doesn't sound too crazy? Because my emotions fluctuate it can be very confusing at times lol.

I just want too share that yous are all awesome people... and thank you. Also... iis their any tips for sleep that isn't alcohol or drugs? Its almost 4am where I am atm, and I am wiiiiiiiddde awake as usal(i go back in forth between not sleeping to sleepin far too much)

Regards,  Nakka

[MaryG]

Hey Nakka,

I have certainly wondered the same myself. "What if this is just normal?" "Maybe there is nothing wrong with me" I also understand the swing between the anxiety and the depression and then the days between when I actually feel OK. 

Regarding sleep all I can offer other than sleeping pills (which I have recently been prescribed and have helped hugely on some difficult days/nights especially since I am used to passing out from alcohol) is physical exercise. I usual find if my body is really tired then I can sleep. I have also recently been listening to a meditation tape on Mindfulness of the body. It is meant for meditation not relaxation, but I rarely make it through the 30 minute track. It aims to focus your mind on your body and let your thoughts just come and go without focus. Also sex almost always works for me. 

Mary

[Nakka]

Yeah its no good, I would much rather have one feeling because all these different ones just mess with me. 

Thanks Mary, I have tried all i have a few meditation cds which i used to use for sleep, also staying active puts me on a buz and makes me even less sleepy, nowdays only pills or alcohol seem to work for me..downside of a overactive thought filled brain i suppose. 

Soo awesome that, that works for you though 🙂