What else to try?

[phil350]

I have had depression on and off for most of my adult life. I'm better at recognising the signs these days and seek help. In the past a few months on medications will see me through the worst of it and I'll make changes in my life to reduce the stressors.

However this time it's not working. I've been severely depressed for almost 2 years. I've tried a huge range of drugs, none have worked. I've seen a couple of psychologists for a couple of dozen sessions. I'm also seeing a psychiatrist but this hasn't helped. I've have just had 9 sessions of ECT and this hasn't worked. The psychiatrist now wants me to see another psychologist but my life sucks and I hate talking about it. I have spat out my story to so many people already I can't bear to do it again. Suicide is looking like a very good option. I have attempted it in the past and didn't want to head back down that path but I've run out of options and ended up here. Suggestions?

[DonnaM]

Hi Phil. I understand how you feel, mate. My first suggestion would be to call one of the help/crisis lines. You're obviously heading somewhere very dark very quickly, so the forum isn't what you need right now.

No doubt, there are phone numbers you can ring listed somewhere on this site, and on other sites like this one. Ring those, talk. I know how annoying it is to say the same things over and over and over every time you start with someone new, but sometimes you just have to do it. Suicide isn't the answer. I've spent much of the past 12 years fighting suicidal thoughts, I know how attractive oblivion looks, but it is, as they say, a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I can't help you with treatment options, I'm just about to start all the crap again myself - doubling my meds starting tomorrow, starting mental health care plan with a psychologist, etc etc etc. I don't know what will work for you, coz I don't know what's going to work for me. But I can tell you right now that you need to keep trying. You cannot say with one hundred percent certainty that the next thing you try won't work. You can't say it will, either, but you have to try it.

Instead of thinking of all the reasons you'd rather not be here, come up with one for why you SHOULD be here. My reason is my kids. There is no way in hell that I'm leaving them without a mother. Find your reason, no matter how small or stupid you think it might be. Hell, do it out of spite, it works for my dad. He was told in 1988 that he had 18 months to live (he was 33 at the time). He's still going now, and he credits his survival to wanting to prove the doctors wrong.

So find your reason, focus on that, and do whatever the hell you have to to live up to your promise to that reason.

[vip]

Phil I get you i have spoken to so many psychs in my lifetime and yes it gets tiring to speak about the same thing over and over. My last psych was actually really good he gave me some good coping techniques which i carry out day to day. Try joining a gym or join a sport exercise does wonders for the brain when we are depressed or another suggestion volunteer somewhere like nursing homes hospitals ect it helps build your confidence and in the same time you meet great people. Suicide is not the answer here the answer is too keep up with the professional help and make a few changes to your normal everyday routine. I have suffered with depression for 22 yrs and i am finally off medication and seeing my psych but yes i still need to be aware that it can come back and i have to make the changes. Dont worry we are all together here in this battle take care and keep strong.

[geoff]

dear Phil, when you are in your situation, and once before you could work around this feeling of depression, and now nothing works that will enable you to pull through then you have to change your tactics, the old ones have burnt out, and won't be able to help you any more.

This is the difficult part, because you through your arms in the air and say 'well what am I going to do now', I'm bu-----d if I know what to do.

Firstly it would be a good idea to write down on how you are feeling, crap I know, photocopy it many times, so when you see someone else then just give them the list.

Many of us have attempted suicide just like you, but now realise that it was a awful decision, but at the time our minds were so clogged with negativity and that's why we tried to do it.

What I would do is to ring the web chat line between 4pm and 10pm on 1300224636 and speak to someone from there and explain the situation that you can't get any psych help, you may have to briefly tell them again of what's happening, and I know it's a pain in the ass. Geoff.